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Just Like Mum Says: A Book of Mum's Wit
By Rosemarie Jarski. 2009
'Having a baby is like watching two very inefficient removal men trying to get a very large sofa through a…
very small doorway, only in this case you can't say, "Oh, sod it, bring it through the French windows"' Victoria Wood'It's not easy being a mother. If it were, fathers would do it' Dorothy, The Golden Girls Motherhood is a tough job and a serious business. Which means there's all the more reason to step back and see the funny side of it, and Just Like Mum Says is packed with humorous insights and wry observations on all matters maternal.Tracing the course of mothering through pregnancy, the terrible twos, the teenage years and the empty nest, Just Like Mum Says includes wise and witty words from celebrated matriarchs from Marge Simpson to Sharon Osbourne, and Victoria Beckham to Victoria Wood.In short, Just Like Mum Says amuses, delights, enlightens and touches the heart - just like Mum.'When my husband comes home, if the kids are still alive, I figure I've done my job' RoseanneJust Like Dad Says: A Book of Dad's Wit
By Geoff Tibballs. 2009
'I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood' Homer SimpsonFathers come in many guises - wise or silly,…
strict or kind. They can make you laugh and they can make you cringe. They can drive you home and they can drive you mad ...In Just Like Dad Says, wise and witty words from the likes of Billy Connolly, Jerry Seinfeld, Spike Milligan and Homer Simpson cover everything from the joy of being a new dad to waving kids off as they - finally - leave home. Old and new, laugh-out-loud funny or wickedly dry, Just Like Dad Says is the best ever collection of quotes by and about Dad. 'My father only hit me once - but he used a Volvo' Bob Monkhouse'Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective' P.J. O'Rourke*INCLUDED THE TIMES AND WATERSTONES' BEST FOOD & DRINK BOOKS OF 2021*Fill your year with flavour.The official The Kitchen Cabinet…
compendium is here at last, with over 100 hours of dinner table talk distilled into this handy almanac, a year in the life of our kitchens to aid you in yours. Open up to find food tips and tricks, stories, recipes, anecdotes and seasonal fun, all held together with our trademark titbits of history, science and often rather lively debate. Join us as we travel across the country, ready to respond to all your culinary conundrums - as well as sharing lots of things you never even thought to ask.Jungle Survival (Air Ministry Survival Guide #2)
By A.M. Pamphlet 224. 2017
THE ULTIMATE SURVIVAL GUIDE for anyone who thinks they'd survive the world's most hostile environments - or at least imagine…
they could do.-----------------------------First issued to airmen in the 1950s, the Air Ministry's Sea Survival guide includes original and authentic emergency advice to crew operating over the ocean. With original illustrations and text, these survival guides provide an insight to military survival techniques from a by-gone era.Packed with original line drawings and instruction in:- What to do if 'jungle hiking becomes boring'- How to stay safe from poisonous reptiles and insects- The benefits of using a 'fire thong'Focussing on one of the most hostile environments on Earth, Jungle Survival is one of four reprints of The Air Ministry's emergency survival pamphlets. Others include:Sea SurvivalDesert SurvivalArctic SurvivalHow to Woo a Duke: & be the talk of the ton
By Lady Whistleblower. 2021
Shall we promenade? Dear Reader, Welcome to the definitive guide to navigating the social season. Learn about etiquette in all…
its forms. Within these abundant leaves you will be gifted with all the instruction and patronage necessary to take your place in society. Sort your Dandies from your Rakes, your Merry Andrews from your Bucks. All of the menagerie of beau monde's are contained within. So read on dearest reader and bury oneself in the pool of knowledge that will equip oneself to Woo a Duke and become the talk of the ton.Yours sincerelyLady WhistleblowerHow to be a Politician: 2,000 Years of Good (and Bad) Advice
By Vince Cable. 2022
'Always forgive your enemies - but never forget their names.' JFK'What do you want to be a sailor for? There…
are greater storms in politics than you will ever find at sea. Piracy, broadsides, blood on the decks. You will find them all in politics.' David Lloyd George'Unchallenged master of the self-inflicted wound.' Nicholas Soames on Boris Johnson, apropos his switch to campaigning for BrexitStructured to follow the arc of a life in politics - from childhood aspirations and first attempts at getting elected, to navigating the back benches, ascending the greasy pole, dealing with detractors, facing crises, and finally escaping - this unique collection weaves together the wittiest, wisest and most acerbic political quotations from the last 2,000 years. Punctuated throughout by candid insights from Sir Vince Cable, How to Be a Politician is a timeless and entertaining education in the dark arts of politics.How Slow Can you Waterski?: and other puzzling questions ...
By Guardian News and Media Ltd. 2006
When the powers that be reduced the speed limit on Lake Windermere to 10 knots, waterskiers complained that their sport…
was now completely scuppered. So just how slow can you waterski before you start to sink beneath the waves?And, while we're about it, how long can you survive in a freezer? What are the chances of being struck by lightning in bed? And why is it so esay to raed wrods eevn wehn the lteetrs are mdduled up?Everyday life can pose some mind-boggling questions - but where do you find the answers? The Guardian's popular 'This Week' column has been looking into the science behind the news for three years, and How Slow Can You Waterski? draws together a selection of the most imaginative questions and the most surprising answers. If you've ever wondered what makes a planet a planet, why submarines keep bumping into things or even if it's safe to eat mud, How Slow Can You Waterski? will prove irresistible - and enlightening - reading.Help I S*xted My Boss: The Sunday Times Bestselling Guide to Avoiding Life’s Awkward Moments
By William Hanson, Jordan North. 2023
'Funny, filthy and fantastic. Cackled from start to finish' - Rylan ClarkHow do you ask your mate for that £50…
back?When is OK to trump in front of your partner?And what should you do if you've accidentally sexted your boss?William and Jordan are from very different worlds.William's an etiquette expert, with his tongue firmly in his teacup and unparalleled knowledge of table linen. Jordan's a TV and radio presenter, the patron saint of Burnley and an expert in all things common. Together they've entertained millions of listeners worldwide with their hit podcast Help I Sexted My Boss.Now, they’ve pooled all of their wisdom on how to get through life’s most awkward moments.From candlelight suppers to picky teas, first dates to flatmate dramas, Help I Sexted My Boss is full of both useful and useless advice. This is your indispensable guide to navigating the trepidation and challenges of modern life.'Hilarious lads.. and weirdly useful. This generation’s Ant and Dec. If one of them was really posh. Great read' - Vicky PattisonSunday Times bestseller, November 2023How To Make It In Advertising
By Mark Leigh. 2013
Advertising. Is it really 'the greatest art form of the twentieth century' (Marshall McLuhan)? Whatever your views, it is undeniably…
one of the most popular career choices going-and one of the most difficult to get into. If you want to be creative and make money, or simply fancy trying your handat a job in one of the most powerful industries around, then this indispensable guide is all you'll need to get a foot in the door and keep a step ahead of the competition. It's a careers guide with a difference, using the experience and wisdom of some of the industry's top people. You'll find essential advice on how to get started and how to get ahead, as well as the insider's view of the genuine pros and cons of each job, from copywriter to account handler. Your new career starts here.Get Lucky: Rituals, Habits and Superstitions of the Rich and Famous
By Chas Newkey-Burden. 2014
Have you ever wondered how Simon Cowell developed the Midas touch? Or how Mo Farah won two Olympic golds? Curious…
to know how Barack Obama focusses before an election? How Marilyn Monroe always looked so glamorous? Or how Dan Brown pens his latest bestseller?Packed full of entertaining trivia and hilarious anecdotes, Get Lucky chronicles the luck rituals of the great and the good. From sports stars and celebrities to writers, tastemakers and multi-millionaires, this book exposes the unusual habits and superstitions behind their success. Read on and be inspired. You never know, some of their luck might just rub off on you…Greater London: The Story of the Suburbs
By Nick Barratt. 2012
London's suburbs may stretch for well over 600 square miles, but in historical accounts of the capital they tend to…
take something of a back seat. In Greater London, historian Nick Barratt places them firmly centre stage, tracing their journey from hamlets and villages far out in the open countryside to fully fledged urban enclaves, simultaneously demonstrating the crucial role they have played in the creation of today's metropolis.Starting in the first century AD, he shows how the tiny settlements that grew up in the Thames Valley gradually developed, and how they were shaped by their proximity to the city. He describes the spread of the first suburbs beyond the city walls, and traces the ebb and flow of population as people moved in to find jobs or away to escape London's noise and bustle. He charts the transformation wrought by the coming of the railways, the fight to preserve Hampstead Heath, Epping Forest and other green spaces and the struggle to create a London-wide form of government. He gives an account of wartime destruction and peacetime reconstruction, and then brings the story to the present with a description of the very varied nature of today's suburbs and their inhabitants. In the process, he evokes Tudor Hackney and Georgian Hampton, explains why Victorian Battersea and Finchley were so different from one another, and follows Islington's fall from grace and subsequent recovery.Magnificently illustrated throughout with contemporary engravings and photographs, this is the essential history for anyone who has ever lived in London.The GCHQ Puzzle Book II
By Gchq. 2018
Train your brain with these fiendishly difficult puzzles, the perfect companion for anyone wanting to keep their mind busy'Fiendishly tricky'…
Daily MailWith their first bestselling book, The GCHQ Puzzle Book, the UK's intelligence and security experts tested us with puzzles, codes and real-life entrance tests from their archives.Now, they are back with a NEW collection of head-scratching, mind-boggling and brain-bending puzzles that will leave you pondering for hours.For those who often found themselves stumped with the first book, The GCHQ Puzzle Book 2 offers even more starter puzzles to get those brains warmed up. Puzzle aficionados needn't worry though, as there is also an 'Even Harder' section to test everyone to their limits . . .Not only that, but in celebration of GCHQ's centenary, the puzzles in this new book sit alongside stories, facts and photos from the organisation's first 100 years at the heart of the nation's security. From the Government Code & Cipher School, to Bletchley Park, through to protecting against cyberattacks, the security of our country is in the hands of GCHQ. With this book, you get exclusive snapshots into the organisation that keeps us all safe.Train your brain to compete with the smartest in the country with this stimulating book of puzzles. If you haven't yet tested yourself with the first instalment of The GCHQ Puzzle Book, check it out now!'This is the perfect gift to fuel his ludicrous presumption that he could have definitely been a spy - even better if he's already dog-eared the first version' Huffington PostSharpen your mind to beat the smartest brains in Britain with the original official GCHQ puzzle bookWould GCHQ recruit you?…
Pit your wits against the people who cracked Enigma in the official puzzle book from Britain's top secret intelligence and security organisationOver the years, their codebreakers have helped keep our country safe, from the Bletchley Park breakthroughs of WWII to the modern-day threat of cyber attack. So it comes as no surprise that, even in their time off, the staff at GCHQ love a good puzzle.Whether they're recruiting new staff or challenging each other to the toughest Christmas quizzes and treasure hunts imaginable, puzzles are at the heart of what GCHQ does. Now they're opening up their archives of decades' worth of codes, puzzles and challenges for everyone to try.In this book you will find:- Tips on how to get into the mindset of a codebreaker- Puzzles ranging in difficulty from easy to brain-bending- A competition section where we search for Britain's smartest puzzlerWith hundreds of stimulating puzzles, The GCHQ Puzzle Book is the perfect companion and will keep you occupied as you attempt to beat the smartest brains in Britain.GOOD LUCK!'Fiendish . . . as frustrating, divisive and annoying as it is deeply fulfilling' Guardian'Ideal for the crossword enthusiast' Daily TelegraphLooking for more ways to test yourself? The GCHQ Puzzle Book 2, a new collection of head-scratching, mind-boggling and brain-bending puzzles is out now!Gardeners' World: Month by Month Planning, Planting and Advice
By Martyn Cox. 2014
Growing vegetables can be a tricky business, and even the most experienced of gardeners will occasionally need to turn to…
a trusted tome for some handy advice. The Veg Grower’s Almanac is just such a book – a compendium of month-by-month tips, advice and items of interest. With sage advice from old Gardeners’ World hands coupled with tips on the best varieties to grow and timely advice on how best to look after your plot, this attractive collection blends practical advice with evocative writing and fascinating facts. Illustrated throughout with charming drawings and sketches, The Veg Grower’s Almanac is a welcome additional to any gardener’s shelf – from hands-on instructions for preparing a seed bed or trying new varieties of tomato to fascinating little-known facts about our favourite crops.Get your pub on with Britain's bestselling travel guide for over 35 years.***Featured in the Guardian, the Times and Mail…
Online and on BBC Radio 4***Now in its 39th edition, The Good Pub Guide remains Britain's best-loved guide to pubs around the country. Organised county by county, yearly updates and reader recommendations ensure that only the best pubs make the grade. Whether you're seeking a countryside haven or a bustling city inn, a family friendly eatery or somewhere with great craft beer, The Good Pub Guide will never steer you wrong. It offers comprehensive information on everything from opening hours and prices to pub dogs, with starred reviews marking truly outstanding establishments.Discover the best in each county for beer, food and accommodation, and find out the winners of the coveted titles of 'Pub of the Year' and 'Landlord of the Year'. Packed with honest, entertaining and up-to-date information, this is the only pub guide you'll ever need and the perfect gift for any pub lover and opens with special contributions from James Blunt, Seedlip founder Ben Branson, Great British Bake Off winner Candice Brown and best-selling author Christopher Winn.The Good Pub Guide 2020
By Fiona Stapley. 2019
Britain's bestselling travel guide for over 35 years and the only truly independent pub guide of its kind.***Featured in the…
Guardian, the Times and Mail Online and on BBC Radio 4***The 38th edition of this much-loved book is as irreplaceable as ever. Organised county by county, its yearly updates and reader recommendations ensure that only the best pubs make the grade. Here you will not only find a fantastic range of countryside havens, bustling inns and riverside retreats, but also pubs known for their excellent food, some specialising in malt whiskey and craft beers.Discover the top pubs in each county for beer, food and accommodation, and find out the winners of the coveted titles of Pub of the Year and landlord of the Year. Packed with hidden gems, The Good Pub Guide continues to provide a wealth of honest, entertaining and up-to-date information on the countries drinking establishments.The Good Pub Guide 2019
By Fiona Stapley. 2018
Britain's bestselling travel guide for over 30 years and the only truly independent guide of its kind.***Featured in the Guardian,…
the Times and Mail Online and on BBC Radio 4***The 37th edition of this much-loved book is as irreplaceable as ever. Organised county by county, its yearly updates and reader recommendations ensure that only the best pubs make the grade. Here you will not only find a fantastic range of countryside havens, bustling inns and riverside retreats, but also a growing number of gastropubs and pubs specialising in malt whiskey and craft beers.Discover the top pubs in each county for beer, food and accommodation, and find out the winners of the coveted titles of Pub of the Year and landlord of the Year. Packed with hidden gems, The Good Pub Guide continues to provide a wealth of honest, entertaining and up-to-date information on the countries drinking establishments.Funniest Thing You Never Said 2
By Rosemarie Jarski. 2010
The bestselling, blockbusting, bumper book of humorous quotations rides back into town with 6,000 more hilariously funny quotes. From times…
past to the modern day, classic funnies to contemporary wit, The Funniest Thing You Never Said 2 delivers an unbeatable selection of fantastic and hilarious quotes on every subject under the sun. Featuring topics as diverse as celebrity to religion, and including a cast of quotees ranging from Oscar Wilde to Homer Simpson, there's something here for everyone with a sense of humour.'I am willing to love all mankind, except an American.' - Samuel Johnson'Glastonbury was very wet and muddy. There was trench foot, dysentery, peaches ... all the Geldof daughters.' - Sean Lock'Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people.' - Richard Nixon'I've had more women than most people have noses.' - Steve Martin'I have the simplest tastes. I'm always satisfied with the best.' - Oscar Wilde 'Well, it's 1am. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.' - Homer Simpson'All I know is I'm not a Marxist.' - Karl Marx'I'm the pink sheep of the family.' - Alexander McQueenFuck You, 2016
By Bob A. Grypants. 2016
In the year that David Bowie died, Brexit shocked us, 'Hiddleswift' was a thing and Trump trumped, we are all…
asking ourselves was 2016 really the worst year ever? Find out in this special* commemorative book**.Inside this cathartic memento of the annus shitabulus that was 2016 you'll find a hilarious guide to everything that went wrong and the few - very few - things that actually went right. For example:- How was it that politics completely jumped the shark this year?- From Bowie to Prince, Ali to Cohen, we celebrate the many extraordinary artists who died rather than see Trump become President (Did Castro make it into the book? Close, but no cigar)- Compare 2016 with other terrible years in history - is it really the very worst?- Make sense of Manbuns, Pokemon Go, Hygge, Nigel Farage and other nonsense- With the aid of an electron microscope we hunt for something good that actually happened- Feel relieved about all the bad things that didn't occur - yet (there's always 2017, folks!)Featuring some really badly drawn illustrations, this comic compendium will soothe your troubled soul - before you throw it in the bin and prepare your mightily hungover self to face 2017. It has to be better, right?* i.e. hastily put together** Warning: this book will spontaneously combust at midnight on December 31st 2016Falco: The Official Companion
By Lindsey Davis. 2012
One of the stories from the bestselling historical fiction Falco series.As the girl came running up the steps, I decided…
she was wearing far too many clothes...So, in 1989, readers were introduced to Marcus Didius Falco, the Roman informer, as he stood on the steps of the Temple of Saturn, looking out across the Forum: the heart of his world. Twenty years and twenty books later, Falco fans want a companion volume.Only here will you learn the author's private background, including her descent from a failed assassin and how atheism improved her knitting. Here too are the real glories and heartache involved in research and creation: why the baby had to be born in Barcelona, which plots evolved from intense loathing of management trainees, what part a thermal vest played in the iconic Falco's conception. It can't be a complete handbook to ancient Rome, but it covers perennial issues. There are a hundred illustrations, some specially commissioned, others from family archives. Enlightening quotations come from the Falco books and from eminent sources: Juvenal, through Chandler, to 1066 and All That.Readers have asked for this book. Their paranoid, secretive author agrees it is now or never. Time to spill beans on the travertine...