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Top Gear: The Alternative Highway Code
By Ministry of Top Gear. 2010
As everyone knows, there are three ways of doing things. The right way, the wrong way and the Top Gear…
way. Although, on reflection, that's usually just the wrong way, but faster and with more shouting. Anyway, the good news is that this third way of doing things can be applied to almost anything, and that includes motoring in general. All you need is the right guidance, which is where the brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code comes in. Top Gear's Altnernative Highway Code will show you how to bring the ambitious but rubbish philosophies of the world's most popular TV programme to your driving, containing advice on general motoring, as well as specific tips on how to deal with common eventualities like a rapidly sinking amphibious camper van, a caravan airship that's just crashed into a small bush, or a stupid home-made limousine that's snapped in half while transporting a top celebrity to an awards ceremony.Road users should not leave home without it.Tommy ‘The Doc’ Docherty was a combative Scotland international wing-half who became a brilliant but erratic manager. His 1960s Chelsea…
team was a glorious reflection of his colourful personality, and a decade later he reinvented his relegated Manchester United side as a vibrant attacking force.He was also, however, a hostage to his own decision-making, costing Chelsea a shot at the First Division title when he banned eight players for breaking their curfew. Most famously, he was fired by United after FA Cup glory because he’d fallen in love with the physiotherapist’s wife. He was a much-travelled manager, and ‘I’ve had more clubs than Jack Nicklaus’ was among the well-worn one-liners that created the image of ‘The Doc’ as football’s stand-up comedian. But in Tommy Doc, David Tossell looks beyond the wisecracks, interviewing Docherty himself, as well as former players and colleagues, to examine a remarkable career and reveal the personal heartaches behind the laughter.Tommy Cooper All In One Joke Book: Book Joke, Joke Book
By Tommy Cooper. 2014
My wife is a magician, yesterday she turned our car into a tree.A big white horse walks into a pub.…
The barman says, 'we have a drink named after you.' The horse says, 'what? Eric?'I said, 'waiter, what's that in my soup?' he said, 'I'd better call the boss, I can't tell one insect from another.'I'm reading a book called 'Sex Before 20'. Personally I don't like audiences.I said, 'it's serious, doctor, I've broken my arm in 20 places'. He said, 'well stop going to those places.'I call my car flattery. It gets me nowhere.'Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world' Nelson Mandela A card isn't quite…
enough - how can you say 'thank you' to some of the unsung heroes of our time? A good teacher can turn a life around. A good teacher can change the course of a career. A good teacher can bring the best out of every student. A good teacher deserves to be celebrated. This is a gift - to the teachers who have taken the time to help us understand or appreciate a subject. To the teachers who believed in us even when we didn't believe in ourselves. To the teachers who have taught us so much more than a subject. To the teachers we will never forget. This is a gift to the best teacher.The Therapy Crouch: In Search of Happy (N)ever After
By Abbey Clancy, Peter Crouch. 2023
Join the nation's favourite married couple and chart-topping podcast hosts, Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch, as they discuss the realities…
of modern relationships in this hilarious and relatable guide.From the moment you swipe right or lock eyes across a crowded bar, you step onto a rollercoaster ride of dating, first kisses and romantic weekends away. Then before you know it, you're meeting the in-laws, moving in together and walking down the aisle. It's not all highs, there are lows too: you've got your other half's annoying habits to discover and you need to learn how to win every argument in pursuit of always being right.When kids come along, sexy text messages make way for school whatsapp groups and suddenly you have no time for one another. Life is a blur of nappies, sleepless nights and chauffeuring as your offspring embark on a more colourful social life than you could dream of. That first date might just be the start of a relationship that lasts for the rest of your life, so choose wisely.From hooking up to breaking up and getting together to staying together, join us as we navigate our way through the trials and tribulations of dating and relationships. Celebrating all that's good and bad about being in pursuit of love, we ask can you ever find you happy ever after?That's So Gross!: Human Body (That's So Gross! #4)
By Mitchell Symons. 2011
NOXIOUS NOISES AND STINKY SMELLS . . .Amaze your mates with top trivia such as:Why do we puke and sweat?Which…
tribe uses farting as a greeting?How likely are you to be injured by a toilet seat?That's So Gross!: History (That's So Gross! #3)
By Mitchell Symons. 2011
FRIGHTFUL FACTS AND GORY STORIES . . .Top trivia about life in the past such as:Did Vikings wear horns on…
their helmets?How did Ancient Egyptians make their mummies?Which animals were gladiators forced to fight?That's So Gross!: Creepy Crawlies (That's So Gross! #2)
By Mitchell Symons. 2011
GO MAD FOR MINIBEASTS!Discover the answers to top trivia such as:Does the dung beetle really stink?Why are caterpillars so muscly?Why…
would fleas be champion high-jumpers?Includes cool collector cards to swap with your mates.That's More Of It Now: The Second Book Of Irish Mammies
By Colm O'Regan. 2013
Colm O’Regan’s massive bestseller Isn’t It Well For Ye? The Book of Irish Mammies brought the wonderful world of the…
Irish Mammy to homes across Ireland, where it took pride of place alongside the good scissors and the bit of string that might come in handy someday. And now, before you can say “Is it that time already?”, Irish Mammy is back with more words of wisdom. That’s More Of It Now: The Second Book of Irish Mammies takes us even deeper into this parallel universe, with advice on everything from how to tell Mammy she is about to become a Granny to how to discipline a child (aged 0–45), touching on Irish Mammies’ role in the worlds of sport, the workplace, technology, religion and culture. Enjoy popular fairy-tales retold with an Irish Mammy at the centre of them; marvel at exclusive, not-yet-released scenes from the epic Game of Scones; and find some essential apps for the Modern Mammy’s tablet.Probably the most important sequel since The Godfather Part II, or at least Fifty Shades Darker, That’s More Of It Now will find a place in everybody’s heart (and stocking). Just don’t leave it on a damp step.That Moment When: Life Stories from Way Back Then
By Mo Gilligan. 2021
Come on my journey. Look at where man's come from. I was working in retail in 2017.You might know Mo…
as the critically acclaimed stand-up comedian, BAFTA-winning presenter, Masked Singer judge and social media mega star. But do you know the moments that really made him? Opening up on the turning points, the good times, the challenges and the lessons learned, this is Mo as you've never seen him before.Journeying through childhood memories in South London, Mo reminisces about school days and old-school raving, and takes us behind the scenes of his first comedy gigs, the creation of the original Geezer, selling out national tours and becoming one of TV's most in-demand stars. Share the moment that Mo decided he wanted to be a comedian, the moment he went viral, the moment he realised he was famous (and how to deal with it), the moment his Netflix special dropped, the moment he won his BAFTA and the moments he still has to come.In among the laugh-out-loud observations, life lessons and candid storytelling, there lies the bigger influences in Mo's life - the unsung heroes of the Black British comedy scene, the power of community and the feel-good legacy he wants to create.'The Funniest Man in Britain' The TimesThanks For Nothing
By Jack Dee. 2009
Comedian Jack Dee's hilarious account of how he became quite such a miserable git and a stand up comedian.'A brilliant…
book. So funny. It's my bible' Paul O'GradyIn this hilariously frank account of his life, Jack Dee finally reveals what turned a once optimistic young man into this grumpy middle-aged git. It's a journey that takes him from a first gig as a ventriloquist's dummy, to working in an artificial leg factory and delivering incontinence pads for the NHS, before he finally ends up on stage at the Comedy Store. Along the way, Jack shares his laugh-out-loud views on everything from the 'overrated moon landing' to boutique hotels, personal trainers and 'people who hold their cutlery the wrong way'.Outrageous, absurd, and full of surprises, this is Jack Dee at his funniest.Terms of Employment: The secret lingo of the workplace
By Charlie Croker. 2012
Has your doctor ever prescribed you some bug-juice? Or sent you to the rheumaholiday department?Have you ever read an article…
full of anecdata or reviewphemisms?Do you think you work in an adhocracy, for a seagull manager?Every workplace has its own words and phrases, from the Smurf juice used to clean plane toilets to the Peckham Rolexes, worn by criminals on release from prison. For Terms of Employment, Charlie Croker has patrolled hospital corridors, hung out by office water-coolers and lingered in shops to listen in on the conversations that only take place at work, gathering together the jargon we all use, often without thinking. Whether you're a white wig (new barrister), a heatseeker (ambitious employee) or an entreprenerd (geeky IT pioneer) Terms of Employment is an invaluable - and entertaining - guide.The Ten (Food) Commandments
By Jay Rayner. 2016
Britain's culinary Moses brings us the new foodie rules to live by, celebrating what and how we eatThe Ten Commandments…
may have had a lot going for them, but they don't offer those of us located in the 21st Century much in the way of guidance when it comes to our relationship with our food. And Lord knows we need it.Enter our new culinary Moses, the legendary restaurant critic Jay Rayner, with a new set of hand-tooled commandments for this food-obsessed age. He deals once and for all with questions like whether it is ever okay to covet thy neighbour's oxen (it is), eating with your hands (very important indeed) and if you should cut off the fat (no). Combining reportage and anecdotes with recipes worthy of adoration, Jay Rayner brings us the new foodie rules to live by.My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about seven - David BeckhamFor Tony to admit…
he is an alcoholic took an awful lot of bottle - Ian Wright on Tony AdamsI've been playing in a golf day for a boy seriously injured in a car accident. I had to drive like a lunatic to get here - Ray Houghton, TalkSport football pundit, on why he was late on-airReporter: What would you be if you weren't a footballer?Peter Crouch: A virgin.I've never been so certain about anything in my life. I want to be a coach. Or a manager. I'm not sure which - Phil NevilleFootballers may not be known for their profound insights, but it seems no one in the game is above a mixed metaphor or confused cliché. From Harry Redknapp to Martin O'Neill, Patrice Evra to Jason McAteer, see the funny side of the beautiful game with this hilarious collection of verbal own goals. Packed full of hilarious quotes, quips and misfires from the biggest names in football, Tell Him He's Pele is a must for everyone with a sense of humour.Teenage Revolution
By Alan Davies. 2009
When Alan Davies was growing up he seemed to drive his family mad. 'What are we going to do with…
you?' they would ask - as if he might know the answer.Perhaps it was because he came of age in the 1980s. That decade of big hair, greed, camp music, mass unemployment, social unrest and truly shameful trousers was confusing for teenagers. There was a lot to believe in - so much to stand for, or stand against - and Alan decided to join anything with the word 'anti' in it. He was looking for heroes to guide him (relatively) unscathed into adulthood.From his chronic kleptomania to the moving search for his mother's grave years after she died; from his obsession with joining (going so far as to become a member of Chickens Lib) to his first forays into making people laugh (not always intentionally); Teenage Revolution is a touching and funny return to the formative years that make us all.Teachers Are From Mars, Pupils Are From Venus : School Joke Book
By John Byrne. 2011
As you've probably realised, kids and teachers are two entirely different species. Why do teachers behave so oddly? Because they're…
from a different planet, that's why! But remember, they think the odd things you do are just as funny! And in this little book the jokes are on everyone - so prepare for classroom chaos!Tao For Babies
By Chris Riddell. 2000
Lao Tzu's ancient text, the Tao Teh Ching, has much to offer the new infant. With their instinctive grasp of…
its principles, babies everywhere will find the wisdom contained in this new interpretation both a revelation and a confirmation of their own world vision. Targeted specifically at their needs, the charmingly illustrated aphorisms will enable them to enhance their understanding of the subject and share these great lessons with their family and carers. Essential reading for all those who wish to make an early start in their search for wisdom and enlightenment.Surviving Ireland
By Colm Tobin. 2015
It’s exhausting, being Irish. The constant self-flagellation is enough to put anybody off their breakfast.Why are we so hard on…
ourselves? Is it the post-colonial overhang following centuries of oppression at the hands of a litany of foreign invaders? Or is it collective guilt for sending Westlife out into the wider world? In Surviving Ireland, acclaimed comedy writer Colm Tobin* takes the reader by the hand for a satirical romp through modern Irish life. As well as providing all the tools you’ll need to navigate this often tricky little island (except a compass or anything even resembling a fact), the book will take you through some of the country’s fraught history, asking some searing questions in the process: how did we get here, where are we going and who in the name of God is going to pay for it all?Surviving Ireland takes in culture and politics, town and country, food and drink, birth, death and everything in between. Let it be your definitive guide to this strange and bewildering rock, cowering from the cold Atlantic swells. Oh, and it’s got some funny drawings in it as well. * Not the Booker Prize-nominated author Colm Tóibín.Strictly English: The correct way to write ... and why it matters
By Simon Heffer. 2010
"Be in no doubt: the beer was drunk but the man drank the beer.""We must avoid vulgarities like 'front up'.…
If someone is 'fronting up' a television show, then he is presenting it."Simon Heffer's incisive and amusingly despairing emails to colleagues at the The Daily Telegraph about grammatical mistakes and stylistic slips have attracted a growing band of ardent fans over recent years. Now, in his new book Strictly English, he makes an impassioned case for an end to the sloppiness that has become such a hallmark of everyday speech and writing, and shows how accuracy and clarity are within the grasp of anyone who is prepared to take the time to master a few simple rules.If you wince when you see "different than" in print, or are offended by people who think that "infer" and "imply" mean the same thing, then this book will provide reassurance that you are not alone. And if you believe that precise and elegant English really does matter, then it will prove required reading.Kung Fu Hero and The Forbidden City: A ComedyShortsGamer Graphic Novel
By Deji Olatunji aka ComedyShortsGamer. 2017
IT WAS ONLY MEANT TO BE A PRANK VIDEO...But now DEJI (AKA ComedyShortsGamer) has unleashed the forces of evil in…
Beijing's Forbidden City.Armed with nothing more than bravado and a talking dog, Deji must return a stolen dragon goblet to the tomb of the mighty Emperor before dawn, or face the end of the world!Standing in his way are gangs of triads, wild dog statues brought to life and skeleton ghosts, not to mention his startling ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.But if Deji is going to survive the night he must triumph over his greatest foe of all, his brother, KSI.Can Deji overcome years of being a slacker and become a kung fu hero to save a world? Join him on his hilarious quest to prove to his parents that a lifetime playing Tekken wasn't a waste of time.