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Why we read: On bookworms, libraries, and just one more page before lights out
By Shannon Reed. 2024
A hilarious and incisive exploration of the joys of reading from a teacher, bibliophile, and Thurber Prize Semifinalist We read…
to escape, to learn, to find love, to feel seen. We read to encounter new worlds, to discover new recipes, to find connection across difference, or simply to pass a rainy afternoon. No matter the reason, books have the power to keep us safe, to challenge us, and perhaps most importantly, to make us more fully human. Shannon Reed, a longtime teacher, lifelong reader, and New Yorker contributor, gets it. With one simple goal in mind, she makes the case that we should read for pleasure above all else. In this whip-smart, laugh-out-loud-funny collection, Reed shares surprising stories from her life as a reader and the poignant ways in which books have impacted her students. From the varied novels she cherishes (Gone Girl, Their Eyes Were Watching God) to the ones she didn't (Tess of the d'Urbervilles), Reed takes us on a rollicking tour through the comforting world of literature, celebrating the books we love, the readers who love them, and the ways in which literature can transform us for the betterOne Thing at a Time: 100 Simple Ways to Live Clutter-Free Every Day
By Cindy Glovinsky. 2004
Simple, effective ways to put things in their placeThose piles of papers, clothes, and other things you thought you'd successfully…
de-cluttered have returned, and this time they brought friends. What's the use of trying to fight the clutter? Is there a better way?This powerful and useful guide delivers solutions that work, no matter how overwhelmed you feel. The answer isn't an elaborate new system, or a solemn vow to start tomorrow. Instead, psychotherapist and organizer Cindy Glovinsky shares 100 simple strategies for tackling the problem the way it grows--one thing at a time. Here's a sampling of the tips explained in the book: *Declare a fix-it day*Purge deep storage areas first *Label it so you can read it*Get a great letter opener*Practice toy population planning *Leave it neater than you found itWritten in short takes and with a supportive tone, this is an essential, refreshing book that helps turn a hopeless struggle into a manageable part of life, one thing at a time.Lump It or Leave It
By Florence King. 1990
Lump It or Leave It, Florence King's latest volume of rapier-edged contemplations on American tomfoolery--er, values--takes on everything from the…
hazards of fame to the joys of menopause, with all of the bile and brio that has made her the nation's most beloved misanthrope. From college professors ("incapable of earning a living with either their minds or their hands") to the South ("if at first you don't secede, try, try, again") to the U.S. government ("the crude leading the crud"), few fools remain unskewered by the reigning Queen of Spleen.O. J. in the Morning, G&T at Night: Spirited Dispatches on Aging with Joie de Vivre
By A. E. Hotchner. 2013
"Acclaimed author and feisty nonagenarian Hotchner's witty ruminations about the art of living well into old age...with brio and a…
touch of his trademark sass, Hotchner writes about rediscovering love after 75, finding joy in a scrappy African gray parrot he named after his longtime friend, Ernest Hemingway, and going on his very first safari at age 88." - Kirkus ReviewsWhen youngsters in their seventies and eighties, nervously lurching toward the horizon of ninety, ask me, "What's the secret?" That's what I tell them: "O.J. in the morning, gin and tonic at night."You don't have to be in your seventies or eighties to enjoy A. E. Hotchner's elixir for aging happily, but after reading this charming collection of essays, you may wish you were. Nonagenarian, novelist, playwright, and biographer, Hotchner gives us heartfelt and laugh-out-loud anecdotes that describe his unique reflections on the aging process. His musings cover everything from the outlandish commercials that target the older generation (Viagra, Cialis, and Flomax) to suggestions on adapting the tennis game for seniors (he suggests lowering the net by two inches and moving all outer lines two feet inward) to the advantages of having a pet (his pet parrot often tells guests to "kiss my ass").He can equally capture the headier side of aging, which is bittersweetly revealed in his piece about divorce. With his disarming, eloquent voice and dry sense of humor, Hotch illuminates life's wisdoms through his optimistic, witty, and romantic outlook, all the while making you feel, well, not unhappy about growing older.O.J. in the Morning, G&T at Night is a book of courageous advice, humorous wisdom, and, above all, good strategies for how to stay young at heart.Postmodern Pooh
By Frederick Crews. 2001
A sequel of sorts to the classic (and bestselling) sendup of literary criticism, The Pooh PerplexThirty-seven years ago, a slim…
parody of academic literary criticism called The Pooh Perplex became a surprise bestseller. Now Frederick Crews has written a hilarious new satire in the same vein. Purporting to be the proceedings of a forum on Pooh convened at the Modern Language Association's annual convention, Postmodern Pooh brilliantly parodies the academic fads and figures that hold sway at the millennium.Deconstruction, poststructuralist Marxism, new historicism, radical feminism, cultural studies, recovered-memory theory, and postcolonialism, among other methods, take their shots at the poor teddy bear and Crews takes his shots at them. The fun lies in seeing just how much adulteration Pooh can stand.Have some fun with your native tongue!In The Cunning Linguist, renowned language expert Richard Lederer shows us the naughtier side…
of wordplay, revealing hundreds of hilarious, ingenious, unabashed, and adults-only puns, jokes, limericks, one-liners, and other adventures in sexual humor. This book of "good, clean dirty fun" will delight word hounds, punsters, bachelor-party goers, and anyone who likes a clever grown-up joke.Here's a taste of The Cunning Linguist:Q: What does a man have in his pants that you can also find on a pool table?A: Pockets.Have you heard about the incompatible couple?He had no income, and she wasn't pattable.The four stages of a couple's sex life:Under 35: Tri-weekly35-45: Try weekly45-55: Try weakly55 and over: Try, try, try.For much more, sneak between the covers of this unique and laugh-out-loud book.The Wit and Wisdom of Downton Abbey (The World of Downton Abbey)
By Jessica Fellowes. 2015
This wonderful collection of quotes and photographs from the Emmy Award-winning television phenomenon--now a feature film--is a perfect gift for…
Downton Abbey fans."Come war and peace Downton still stands and the Crawleys are still in it."Downton Abbey is loved the world over for its fabulous costumes, beautiful scenery, wonderful characters and intricate plot lines, but what keeps millions of us coming back time after time is the stellar quality of the writing. With each stroke of his pen Julian Fellowes seems to gift us with a cuttingly dry quip from the Dowager Countess, a perfectly timed word of wisdom from Mrs Patmore or a touchingly nostalgic pronouncement from Carson.Here in The Wit and Wisdom of Downton Abbey, Jessica Fellowes has gathered together her favorite quotes from the complete Downton Abbey oeuvre to take each of us back to the most memorable moments from the show and ensure we are armed with the very best ripostes should we ever need to chastise an impertinent lady's maid.How I Got This Way
By Patrick F. McManus. 1994
Patrick McManus, the bestselling author of such hilarious books as A Fine and Pleasant Misery and Never Sniff a Gift…
Fish, now offers readers solid thoughts on the qualities that define leadership, beginning with the need to be tall, and much more, in this outrageous collection of short pieces that reveals his tortuous trip along the writer's path.Duke Sucks: A Completely Even-Handed, Unbiased Investigation into the Most Evil Team on Planet Earth
By Reed Tucker, Andy Bagwell. 2012
In the ranks of NCAA college basketball, Duke University is like something scraped off the bottom of a shoe. It's…
like a nasty virus you catch from a door handle at a public toilet.No team in sports is as uniquely hated as those smug, entitled, floor-slapping, fist-pumping, insufferable Blue Devils. The loathing has almost reached the level of a religion. Christian Laettner is a punk. Amen. The Cameron Crazies are obnoxious. The Plumlees are worthless times three. Coach K is a jerk. Kumbaya. The team is dogged by an intense hatred that no other team can match—and for good reason. Millions of hoops fans and March Madness aficionados around the world are not imagining things. Duke really is evil, and within the pages of Duke Sucks, Reed Tucker and Andy Bagwell show readers exactly why Duke deserves to be so detested. They bruise and batter the Blue Devils with fact after fact, story after story, statistic after statistic. They build an airtight case that could stand up in a court of law. So sit back in your "I Hate Duke" t-shirt, and in true Duke fashion, force someone poorer than you to do your work as you crack open the ultimate guide to Duke suckitude.Super Smutty Sign Language
By Kristin Henson. 2013
A book of truly obscene and offensive insults, sex terms, and pop culture phrases translated into American Sign Language-from the…
YouTube sensation with more than 2 million views and countingHave you ever been in a noisy bar and wanted to insult or pick up someone? Now you can say:- Douche canoe- Cum dumpster- I lost my virginity, can I have yours?- There's a party in my pants, and you're invited- Do you spit or swallow?- Does the carpet match the curtains?- Gargle my balls- Was that a queef?- You cum-guzzling ass-pirate!- Sperm burper- Let's play leap-frog naked!There are plenty of books and Websites that teach you basic sign language phrases like "Hello," "I love you," and some even cross the line into crass with "fuck you," "asshole," or "bite me," but Super Smutty Sign Language is the only book that delivers truly obscene and offensive insults, sex terms, and pop culture phrases including "Suck a bag of dicks," "Bitch, please!" "You motorboating son of a bitch!" and "Blumpkin". Kristin Henson, creator of the YouTube channel Dirty Signs with Kristin, presents over 200 dirty, vulgar, foul, and disgusting words and phrases guaranteed to make you blush.Life's Little Annoyances: True Tales of People Who Just Can't Take It Anymore
By Ian Urbina. 2005
What can you do when the world is pushing you over the edge? More than you think.For some of us,…
it's the automated voice that answers the phone when we'd rather talk to a real person. For others, it's the fact that Starbucks insists on calling its smallest-sized coffee "tall." Or perhaps it's those pesky subscription cards that fall out of magazines. Whatever it is, each of us finds some aspect of everyday life to be particularly maddening, and we often long to lash out at these stubborn irritants of modern life. In Life's Little Annoyances, Ian Urbina chronicles the lengths to which some people will go when they have endured their pet peeves long enough and are not going to take it any more. It is a compendium of human inventiveness, by turns juvenile and petty, but in other ways inspired and deeply satisfying. We meet the junk-mail recipient who sends back unwanted "business reply" envelopes weighted down with sheet metal, so the mailers will have to pay the postage. We commiserate with the woman who was fed up with the colleague who kept helping himself to her lunch cookies, so she replaced them with dog biscuits that looked like biscotti. And we revel in the seemingly endless number of tactics people use to vent their anger at telemarketers, loud cellphone talkers, spammers, and others who impose themselves on us.A celebration of the endless variety of passive aggressive behavior, Life's Little Annoyances will provide comfort and inspiration to everyone who has ever gritted his teeth and dreamed of sweet retribution against the slings and arrows of outrageous people.Home Is Burning: A Memoir
By Dan Marshall. 2015
An Entertainment Weekly Best Book of the Year, 2015For the Marshalls, laughter is the best medicine. Especially when combined with…
alcohol, pain pills, excessive cursing, sexual escapades, actual medicine, and more alcohol.Meet Dan Marshall. 25, good job, great girlfriend, and living the dream life in sunny Los Angeles without a care in the world. Until his mother calls. And he ignores it, as you usually do when Mom calls. Then she calls again. And again. Dan thought things were going great at home. But it turns out his mom's cancer, which she had battled throughout his childhood with tenacity and a mouth foul enough to make a sailor blush, is back. And to add insult to injury, his loving father has been diagnosed with ALS. Sayonara L.A., Dan is headed home to Salt Lake City, Utah.Never has there been a more reluctant family reunion: His older sister is resentful, having stayed closer to home to bear the brunt of their mother's illness. His younger brother comes to lend a hand, giving up a journalism career and evenings cruising Chicago gay bars. His next younger sister, a sullen teenager, is a rebel with a cause. And his baby sister - through it all - can only think about her beloved dance troop. Dan returns to shouting matches at the dinner table, old flames knocking at the door, and a speech device programmed to help his father communicate that is as crude as the rest of them. But they put their petty differences aside and form Team Terminal, battling their parents' illnesses as best they can, when not otherwise distracted by the chaos that follows them wherever they go. Not even the family cats escape unscathed.As Dan steps into his role as caregiver, wheelchair wrangler, and sibling referee, he watches pieces of his previous life slip away, and comes to realize that the further you stretch the ties that bind, the tighter they hold you together.Stories from a Moron: Real Stories Rejected by Real Magazines
By Ed Broth. 2004
"Sorry, there's no way we can use this."- Plumpers Magazine"As a word of advice, it always helps for writers to…
be familiar with the publications they submit material to."- Fencers Quarterly MagazineEd writes short stories. He's prolific. And desperate to get published. But he sends his stories to the wrong magazines. As for the magazines? Well, they don't mind telling him so:"Dear Ed: I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry...""Dear Ed: Thank you for your recent submission to Steamboat Magazine; it was wonderful to hear how much our magazine has touched you...""Dear Ed: We do not publish stories about individuals like Conugal Cal, or about underwear-no matter how often references are made to fencing.""Dear Mr. Broth: Thank you for providing the editors with an opportunity to review your manuscript, 'Luau Lester'...""Dear Mr. Broth: Thank you for the opportunity to review your article, 'My Car Ride with Daddy,' for possible publication in Mushing..."With this book, Ed Broth finally sees his work published. His "Stories of Hope & Inspiration" and his "Stories of Meaning & Sacrament" plus his passionate pitches to place his writing in our nation's premier publications-from Pest Control Magazine to Arthritis Today-are all to be found in the book you hold in your hands.Some might have advised Ed not to send his story "I Love Dogs" to I Love Cats Magazine or to stop submitting revised stories to editors who have already turned them down. But, well, that's just not the way Ed's mind works. Studded like a rich cranberry strudel with nuggets of genius -from cartoons and advertisements to actual newspaper articles from across the country - Stories From a Moron is an addictive journey into the mind of a great talent.How to Speak Baseball: An Illustrated Guide to Ballpark Banter
By James Charlton, Sally Cook. 2014
This handsome guide to the language of baseball decodes the amusing, clever phrases that pepper commentary about the sport. Packed…
with witty explanations of everything from "duster" and "rubber arm" to "up the elevator," this ballpark lexicon plays on a nostalgic love for the national pastime while covering ground from baseball's beginnings to today. This humorous mix of definitions and anecdotes is the perfect gift for both lifelong baseball fans and rookies working up the ranks.No Land's Man
By Aasif Mandvi. 2014
"It always bothered me that Aasif was more than merely funny-he's also a great actor. Now I've learned he's an…
amazing storyteller as well, and I am furious . . . but also grateful. Aasif's movement between cultures and genres is what makes him and his story singularly funny, poignant, and essential."- John Hodgman, author of The Areas of My Expertise and More Information Than You Require"My father moved our family to the United States because of a word. It was a word whose meaning fascinated him. It was a singularly American word, a fat word, a word that could only be spoken with decadent pride. That word was . . . Brunch! 'The beauty of America,' he would say, 'is they have so much food, that between breakfast and lunch they have to stop and eat again.'" —from "International House of Patel"If you're an Indo-Muslim-British-American actor who has spent more time in bars than mosques over the past few decades, turns out it's a little tough to explain who you are or where you are from. In No Land's Man Aasif Mandvi explores this and other conundrums through stories about his family, ambition, desire, and culture that range from dealing with his brunch-obsessed father, to being a high-school-age Michael Jackson impersonator, to joining a Bible study group in order to seduce a nice Christian girl, to improbably becoming America's favorite Muslim/Indian/Arab/Brown/Doctor correspondent on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.This is a book filled with passion, discovery, and humor. Mandvi hilariously and poignantly describes a journey that will resonate with anyone who has had to navigate his or her way in the murky space between lands. Or anyone who really loves brunch.The Afrominimalist's Guide to Living with Less
By Christine Platt. 2021
Forget the aesthetics of mainstream minimalism and discover a life of authenticity and intention with this &“warm, engaging guide&” (Laura…
Fenton, author of The Little Book of Small Living) to living with less…your way.When Christine Platt set out on her journey to live with less, she never intended to become The Afrominimalist. She just wanted to tame the chaos in her closet! But after struggling with the austerity and whiteness of mainstream minimalism, Christine realized why minimalism often seems unattainable for so many: the emphasis on all-white, barren aesthetics distracts from the practice of living with intention. And so, she decided to do things her way by curating a life of less influenced by the African diaspora. In The Afrominimalist&’s Guide to Living With Less, Christine gets right to the heart of how childhood experiences and expectations manifest in adulthood, the delicate dance between needs and wants, and the complicated weight of familial and societal pressures. A far cry from Konmaried closets, capsule wardrobes, and conspicuous consumption, Christine&’s brand of &“living with less&” is more than a decluttering regimen. &“By detailing her own maximalist-to-minimalist transformation, Platt puts readers at ease&” (The Washington Post) and presents a radical revisioning of minimalism, one that celebrates the importance of history and heritage, and gives you permission to make space for what really matters…your way. Beautifully illustrated with original black-and-white prints and line drawings, The Afrominimalist&’s Guide to Living With Less is a testament to the idea that anyone can be a minimalist and a warm invitation to a life curated with intention, perfect for readers of Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus (The Minimalists), Marie Kondo, Joshua Becker, and Courtney Carver.**A New York Times Bestseller!** Based on the wildly popular Instagram account, Subpar Parks features both the greatest hits and…
brand-new content, all celebrating the incredible beauty and variety of America&’s national parks juxtaposed with the clueless and hilarious one-star reviews posted by visitors. Subpar Parks, both on the popular Instagram page and in this humorous, informative, and collectible book, combines two things that seem like they might not work together yet somehow harmonize perfectly: beautiful illustrations and informative, amusing text celebrating each national park paired with the one-star reviews disappointed tourists have left online. Millions of visitors each year enjoy Glacier National Park, but for one visitor, it was simply "Too cold for me!" Another saw the mind-boggling vistas of Bryce Canyon as "Too spiky!" Never mind the person who visited the thermal pools at Yellowstone National Park and left thinking, &“Save yourself some money, boil some water at home.&” Featuring more than 50 percent new material, the book will include more depth and insight into the most popular parks, such as Yosemite, Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, and Acadia National Parks; anecdotes and tips from rangers; and much more about author Amber Share's personal love and connection to the outdoors. Equal parts humor and love for the national parks and the great outdoors, it's the perfect gift for anyone who loves to spend time outside as well as have a good read (and laugh) once they come indoors.My Family and Other Seedlings: A Year on a Dorset Allotment
By Lalage Snow. 2024
A few years ago Lally Snow moved to a Dorset village with her husband and three small children, having spent…
over a decade as a war photographer, foreign correspondent and film maker living in Kabul. She covered the conflict there as well as other wars from Gaza to Eastern Ukraine, and Iraq.In the late winter of 2021-22, Lally decided to rent an allotment, despite having only a rudimentary knowledge of gardening. She was starting from scratch and setting herself the dual challenge of growing an allotment at the same time as growing a family.This is a heart-warming, wry and at times tearful account of Lally's travails as a mother and novice allotment holder, counterpointing horticultural progress with the perils of parenting. Along the way she reflects on the drudgery of English rural domesticity after a professional life chasing war and adventure, the history of the allotment since Saxon times, and the wonderful moment when gardening becomes fun rather than just feeding a family.My Family and Other Seedlings: A Year on a Dorset Allotment
By Lalage Snow. 2024
A few years ago Lally Snow moved to a Dorset village with her husband and three small children, having spent…
over a decade as a war photographer, foreign correspondent and film maker living in Kabul. She covered the conflict there as well as other wars from Gaza to Eastern Ukraine, and Iraq.In the late winter of 2021-22, Lally decided to rent an allotment, despite having only a rudimentary knowledge of gardening. She was starting from scratch and setting herself the dual challenge of growing an allotment at the same time as growing a family.This is a heart-warming, wry and at times tearful account of Lally's travails as a mother and novice allotment holder, counterpointing horticultural progress with the perils of parenting. Along the way she reflects on the drudgery of English rural domesticity after a professional life chasing war and adventure, the history of the allotment since Saxon times, and the wonderful moment when gardening becomes fun rather than just feeding a family.My Family and Other Seedlings: A Year on a Dorset Allotment
By Lalage Snow. 2024
A few years ago Lally Snow moved to a Dorset village with her husband and three small children, having spent…
over a decade as a war photographer, foreign correspondent and film maker living in Kabul. She covered the conflict there as well as other wars from Gaza to Eastern Ukraine, and Iraq.In the late winter of 2021-22, Lally decided to rent an allotment, despite having only a rudimentary knowledge of gardening. She was starting from scratch and setting herself the dual challenge of growing an allotment at the same time as growing a family.This is a heart-warming, wry and at times tearful account of Lally's travails as a mother and novice allotment holder, counterpointing horticultural progress with the perils of parenting. Along the way she reflects on the drudgery of English rural domesticity after a professional life chasing war and adventure, the history of the allotment since Saxon times, and the wonderful moment when gardening becomes fun rather than just feeding a family.