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By Ed Broth. 2004
"Sorry, there's no way we can use this."- Plumpers Magazine"As a word of advice, it always helps for writers to…
be familiar with the publications they submit material to."- Fencers Quarterly MagazineEd writes short stories. He's prolific. And desperate to get published. But he sends his stories to the wrong magazines. As for the magazines? Well, they don't mind telling him so:"Dear Ed: I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry...""Dear Ed: Thank you for your recent submission to Steamboat Magazine; it was wonderful to hear how much our magazine has touched you...""Dear Ed: We do not publish stories about individuals like Conugal Cal, or about underwear-no matter how often references are made to fencing.""Dear Mr. Broth: Thank you for providing the editors with an opportunity to review your manuscript, 'Luau Lester'...""Dear Mr. Broth: Thank you for the opportunity to review your article, 'My Car Ride with Daddy,' for possible publication in Mushing..."With this book, Ed Broth finally sees his work published. His "Stories of Hope & Inspiration" and his "Stories of Meaning & Sacrament" plus his passionate pitches to place his writing in our nation's premier publications-from Pest Control Magazine to Arthritis Today-are all to be found in the book you hold in your hands.Some might have advised Ed not to send his story "I Love Dogs" to I Love Cats Magazine or to stop submitting revised stories to editors who have already turned them down. But, well, that's just not the way Ed's mind works. Studded like a rich cranberry strudel with nuggets of genius -from cartoons and advertisements to actual newspaper articles from across the country - Stories From a Moron is an addictive journey into the mind of a great talent.By Patrick F. McManus. 1994
Patrick McManus, the bestselling author of such hilarious books as A Fine and Pleasant Misery and Never Sniff a Gift…
Fish, now offers readers solid thoughts on the qualities that define leadership, beginning with the need to be tall, and much more, in this outrageous collection of short pieces that reveals his tortuous trip along the writer's path.By Liana Finck. 2024
A wryly personal and deeply relatable graphic memoir skewering the &“traditional&” parenting book to chronicle the absurdities, frustrations, and soaring…
joys of new parenthood—from the acclaimed New Yorker cartoonist and authorHow do you know if you&’re ready to have a baby? How do you know if you might be pregnant? And how do you deal with peeing all the time and being hungry all the time and fielding well-meaning but kind of insulting advice and finding a doula and being dropped by your old friends and learning why it&’s called mom brain and not dad brain and the tyranny of the milestones you&’re not meeting and negotiating boundaries with in-laws and realizing that your heart now exists outside of your chest and in the body of this tiny little being whose entire existence depends on the quality of your care? To tackle these questions and many others, award-winning cartoonist and memoirist Liana Finck began illustrating her early years of motherhood, giving images and language to her insecurities, frustrations, and wild joy. In How to Baby, Liana takes her witty and lacerating cartoons (&“Hobbies for Pregnant Women: Waiting on Hold with the Insurance Company&”) and weaves them together with comic essays (&“You Married a Brute. Worse. You&’re a Nag: Go Ahead and Argue with Each Other&”), handy lists (&“Nesting. The Comprehensive List of What to Buy and Why Getting Things Used Is Dangerous and Unamerican&”), and profound observations. Together, these brilliant pieces form an immersive and comprehensive narrative whole—a baby book, a resource, and an emotional balm—for our time.By Matthew McKay. 2024
• Offers a step-by-step process to unleash the unconscious and intuitive wisdom held in the awareness of your soul: Deep…
Knowledge Meditation • Includes guided journal prompts to help you listen to your heart and shine a light on your own deepest wisdom and soul knowledge • Shares channeled lessons from the author&’s late son Jordan on the mysteries of human existence, including what the divine or god is, the nature of a soul, the nature of matter and energy, the role of love in our lives, and the origin of the universe Human life is surrounded by mystery. At the center of this mystery is the question: Why are we here? is there a purpose to our existence, a reason why we&’re experiencing the beauty and pain of physical life? There is also the mystery of the universe itself. What is it and where did it come from? Religious and spiritual traditions have created complex cosmologies to answer these questions, but each tradition has a different answer and we are left with profound uncertainty about deeper reality. As psychologist Matthew McKay reveals, we can each discover our own answers to these questions, our own inner truth, by connecting with the wisdom of our souls. In this guided workbook, McKay offers a step-by-step process to unleash the unconscious and intuitive wisdom held in the awareness of your soul. He explains how to use &“deep knowledge meditation&” to access all of your soul&’s accumulated knowledge, everything you have learned across all of your incarnations. Channeling his late son, Jordan, a discarnate soul who has lived hundreds of lives, McKay shares Jordan&’s lessons on the mysteries of human existence, including what the divine or god is, the nature of a soul, the nature of matter and energy, the role of love in our lives, and the origin of the universe. Accompanying these channeled teachings are journal prompts from Jordan, to be used with deep knowledge meditation, to help you listen to your heart and shine a light on your own deepest wisdom and soul knowledge. Guiding you on a journey of self-discovery, this book offers the opportunity to find your soul&’s truth about your life&’s purpose and the nature of physical reality.By Ryan Serhant. 2018
This national bestseller is a lively and practical guide on how to sell anything and achieve long-term success in business.…
Ryan Serhant was a shy, jobless hand model when he entered the real estate business in 2008 at a time the country was on the verge of economic collapse. Just nine years later, he has emerged as one of the top realtors in the world and an authority on the art of selling. Sell It Like Serhant is a smart, at times hilarious, and always essential playbook to build confidence, generate results, and sell just about anything. You'll find tips like: The Seven Stages of Selling How to Find Your Hook; Negotiating Like A BOSS; How to Be a Time Manager, Not a Time Stealer; and much more!Through useful lessons, lively stories, and vivid examples, this book shows you how to employ Serhant's principles to increase profits and achieve success. Your measure of a good day will no longer depend on one deal or one client, wondering what comes next; the next deal is already happening. And Serhant's practical guidance will show you how to juggle multiple deals at once and close all of them EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Whatever your business or expertise, Sell It Like Serhant will make anyone a master at sales. Ready, set, GO!Sell It Like Serhant is a USA Today Bestseller, Los Angeles Times Bestseller, and Wall Street Journal Bestseller.By Michael James Schneider. 2024
From viral balloon-word artist and Instagram sensation Michael James Schneider (@blcksmth) comes a one-of-a-kind debut gift book with never-before-seen original…
artwork!Featuring many of @blcksmth&’s most iconic balloon, flower, and light installations—plus exclusive new content—this book has a little something for everyone. Filled with funny, inspiring, and heartwarming messages on topics like self-love, self-growth, self-doubt, and advice for your future self, this is the perfect gift for any occasion or reader.By Penn Holderness, Kim Holderness. 2024
The engaging, uplifting antidote to traditional ADHD books (which, let's be honest, if you have ADHD you'd never read anyway).You…
live in a world that wasn't designed for you. A world where you're expected to sit still, stay quiet, and focus. Because of the way your brain is wired, you can feel like you&’re failing at life. But you are not failing. You are awesome.Award-winning content creators Kim and Penn Holderness are on a mission to reboot how we think about the unfortunately named "attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder." As always, they are doing it by looking in the mirror, because they don't just study ADHD; they live it.Penn was in college when he was diagnosed with ADHD, although the signs of having a brain that worked just a little bit differently had been there since he was a kid. Rather than view the diagnosis as a curse or give in to feelings of inadequacy or failure, he took a different approach, one that he wants to share with fellow ADHDers and the people who care about them.Drawing on their often-hilarious insights and the expertise of doctors, researchers, and specialists; Kim and Penn provide fun, easy-to-digest advice and explanations, including:What it's actually like to live with an ADHD brain.How to find humor in the pitfalls, sob stories, and unbelievable triumphs (like the time they won The Amazing Race!) that come with ADHD.How to tackle the challenges ADHD presents with a positive outlook.Targeted tools and techniques to play to your unique strengths.Fun extras like ADHD Bingo, an ode to cargo pants, and what the world would look like if ADHDers were in charge.Take it from Penn: Having ADHD can be scary, but it comes with incredible upsides, including creativity, hyperfocus, and energy. You might even say it's kind of awesome. Whether you have ADHD or want to support someone else in their journey, this is the guide you need to make the life you want.By Patrice Leconte. 2021
Le narrateur, un journaliste people, offre un verre de chablis, suivi de plusieurs autres, à un fonctionnaire qui lui a…
rendu service dans un service administratif. Ce dernier, qui a adopté le surnom de Bouboule et le revendique, lui raconte qu'il a pris la décision de se suicider en se défénestrant du huitième étage, une fois dépassé les 180 kilosBy David Long. 2009
Just why has England been blessed with so many quirky people? A delightful look at this phenomenon from an award–winning…
and &“superbly talented&” author (Sunday Express). From the eighteenth-century judge who insisted all babies were born with tails that were secretly removed by midwives to the twentieth-century schoolmaster who left twenty-six thousand pounds to the Lord Jesus Christ (upon His return and satisfactory proof of His identity), England is famed for its colorful characters. In this exploration of eccentrics through history, David Long studies these beloved real-life figures and their bizarre legacy, including the many strange buildings they left behind—not just follies but re-creations of exotic palaces. He also discusses why eccentrics still spark a continuing fascination, and highlights the most notable (not just the most famous) in his entertaining essays. In addition to a useful timeline that sets the scene, this book reveals where readers can see the long-lasting legacy of the eccentric for themselves, from Brighton Pavilion to the follies at Stourhead and Castle Howard. &“A new book by David Long is always something to cherish.&” —LondonistThis audiobook features music and special effects. An educational audiobook that helps grieving children understand what happens when we die,…
and celebrates the traditions people around the world use to honor the dead. Death is an important part of life, and yet it is one of the hardest things to talk about—for adults as well as children. Historian and museum curator Sarah Chavez is determined to create a audiobook that sparks wonder and curiosity about dying, instead of fear and shame. In this informative listen, children will marvel at the flowers different cultures use to represent death. They will find out about eco-friendly burials, learn how to wrap a mummy, and go beneath the streets of Paris to witness skull-lined catacombs! Listeners will also ride a buffalo alongside Yama, the Hindu god of death, come face-to-face with the terracotta army a Chinese emperor built to escort him to the afterlife, and party in the streets to celebrate the Day of the Dead in Mexico. Through these examples Sarah Chavez showcases the amazing ways humans have always revered those who have died. Full of practical tips, this book won't stop the pain of losing a loved one or a pet, but it may give young listeners ideas for different ways they can celebrate those who have passed away, and help begin the healing process. A Macmillan Audio production from Neon SquidBy Cole Nowicki. 2024
From prairie towns to sprawling cities, Laser Quit Smoking Massage revels in the peculiarities of the Canadian West. A unique…
and exciting new voice in Canadian literature, Cole Nowicki’s witty, insightful, and ever-curious reportage explores the evolving states of community, family, and belonging.By Bathroom Readers' Institute. 2002
An entertaining trivia compendium flush with fun facts about all things science.Uncle John&’s Bathroom Reader Plunges into the Universe is…
your anecdote to boring science textbooks. Uncle John and his loony lab partners will take you back to the Big Bang and forward to the distant future. You&’ll see the science in everything around (and inside) you, and learn the truth about the most egregious science myths (such as—you can&’t &“sweat like a pig&” because pigs don&’t sweat). How many amazing facts await your visual cortex in these 494 pages made up of atoms (print version) or bits and bytes (e-book)? As Carl Sagan would have said, &“Billions and Billions!&” So put on your thinking cap and check out: · Pluto denied · Kitchen chemistry · Football gets physics-al · Planet Earth&’s sudden hot flashes · Food&’s incredible journey . . .through you · The science of surfing, skating, and snowboarding · How they plugged the hole in the ozone layer · How &“defenseless&” animals stay alive · Sci-fi that&’s more fi than sci · Ancient astronomers · Know your clouds And much, much moreBy Bathroom Readers' Institute. 2001
The trivia gurus behind the Uncle John&’s Bathroom Reader series plumb the depths of history in this compendium of easily…
digestible diversions. Whether you&’re a history buff, or you just like reading great stories, you&’ll see the past in a whole new light after reading Uncle John&’s Bathroom Reader Plunges into History. Uncle John uncovers the truth behind some of history&’s most persistent myths and flushes out information you were never taught in school. Where else could you learn about the 10 most-forgotten people in history, mistakes that led to great discoveries, and how a certain fish had a hand (er, fin) in beating Napoleon? Read all about . . . The short history of underwearOdd deaths of famous figuresAbe Lincoln, fashion iconThe real Lady GodivaRoyal inbreeds and promiscuous popesThe true story of Braveheart And much more!By Georgina Scull. 2022
'A beautiful and moving reminder to appreciate life' Roxie Nafousi, author of Manifest'This book may on first glance appear to…
be about death and regrets, but is in reality about life and choices. It is warmly life-affirming ... A magnificent read that will inspire. I loved it' Sue Black 'So beautiful ... Perfectly written and judged ... A wonderful book that made me grasp life a little more firmly' Dr Chris van Tulleken A powerful, moving and hopeful book exploring what people regret most when they are dying and how this can help us lead a better life. If you were told you were going to die tomorrow, what would you regret?Ten years ago, without time to think or prepare, Georgina Scull ruptured internally. The doctors told her she could have died and, as Georgina recovered, she began to consider the life she had led and what she would have left behind.Paralysed by a fear of wasting what seemed like precious time but also fully ready to learn how to spend her second chance, Georgina set out to meet others who had faced their own mortality or had the end in sight.By Susie Dent. 2020
'Susie Dent is a one-off. She breathes life and fun into words and language' Pam Ayres'Susie Dent is a national…
treasure' Richard OsmanWelcome to a year of wonder with Susie Dent, lexicographer, logophile, and longtime queen of Countdown's Dictionary Corner.From the real Jack the Lad to the theatrically literal story behind stealing someone's thunder, from tartle (forgetting someone's name at the very moment you need it) to snaccident (the unintentional eating of an entire packet of biscuits), WORD PERFECT is a brilliant linguistic almanac full of unforgettable stories, fascinating facts, and surprising etymologies tied to every day of the year. You'll never be lost for words again.By Sylvie Drapeau. 2022
Depuis le grave accident qui l’a plongée dans le coma, la mère de Rose ne bouge plus, ne parle plus.…
Ses yeux restent toujours fermés. Mais le docteur Chevalier croit que, peut-être, elle peut entendre. Alors Rose lui lit à voix haute des pages entières de son journal intime. Elle lui raconte tout : son école, ses peurs, ses peines, ses défis. Un soir, pour lui changer les idées, le père de Rose l’emmène au théâtre voir Le petit chaperon rouge. Rose est émerveillée. C’est le plus beau spectacle au monde! Soudain, la vie retrouve ses couleurs. C’est décidé, elle fera du théâtre! Sylvie Drapeau est une grande comédienne et une auteure. Avec Escarpolette, elle signe son premier roman pour la jeunesse.By Loraine Despres. 2003
Learn how to navigate life with the effortless savior faire of a true daughter of the South with The Southern…
Belle's Handbook.Sissy LeBlanc's rules to live by will teach you how to hook, hold on to, and handle any man as well as conquer any personal situation with the poise and confidence of a sophisticated southern stunner.And because every woman possesses her own sassy instincts, you can also record your own rules for unstoppable fabulousness and success.By Shannon Thompson Family, Jennifer Levesque. 2013
From the moment they met Alana Thompson, Americans from coast to coast fell under the spell of the pint-size pageant…
queen and her loud and proud family. Now, in this authorized guide infused with their down-to-earth redneck style, disarming humor, and homespun values, Mama, Sugar Bear, Honey Boo Boo, Pumpkin, Chickadee, and Chubbs show how you, too, can be a "redneckognized" Southern belle and an honorary member of the Shannon/Thompson clan. How to Honey Boo Boo features everything you need to know:Cookin ' Like Mama: Decorate, diet, barbecue, coupon, and cook like June with recipes for "sketti," roadkill BBQ, lemonade, "marannaise sammich," and more.Fun And Games: From the Redneck Games and June's famous mani-pedis to Christmas in July, relax redneck-style.How To Be A Beautimous Queen: Discover Honey Boo Boo's pageant secrets: makeup and fashion tips and advice on great costumes so you can be a supa star and rock dat stage!Everything But The Kitchen SinK: Hilarious tales, how-tos, DIY projects, and lists of things to do, plus behind-the-scenes stories, family photos, secrets of Glitzy the pampered pet pig, and more!Talk Like Hone Y Boo Boo: A Redneckopedia with essential vocabulary like "redneckognize," "vajiggle-jaggle," "old man glue," and more.Oh Yeah or No Way? Do you know a "forklift foot" from a "neck crust"? Test your Honey Boo Boo knowledge with fun quizzes on the Honey Boo Boo way of life.By James Thurber. 1945
"An authentic American genius. . . . Mr. Thurber belongs in the great lines of American humorists that includes Mark…
Twain and Ring Lardner." —Philadelphia InquirerJames Thurber’s unique ability to convey the vagaries of life in a funny, witty, and often satirical way earned him accolades as one of the finest humorists of the twentieth century. A bestseller upon its initial publication in 1945, The Thurber Carnival captures the depth of his talent and the breadth of his wit. The stories compiled here, almost all of which first appeared in The New Yorker, are from his uproarious and candid collection My World and Welcome to It—including the American classic "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty"—as well as from The Owl in the Attic, The Seal in the Bathroom, Men, Women and Dogs. Thurber’s take on life, society, and human nature is timeless and will continue to delight readers even as they recognize a bit of themselves in his brilliant sketches.By Tony Husband. 2006
Most joke books at least attempt to make you laugh. A chuckle, a giggle, even an outright guffaw. Something you…
can repeat to your friends and be guaranteed to raise a smile. That's what a joke book is for. Right? Well, not this one.This is a collection of the world's most cringe-worthy jokes told by Tony Husband, proud contender for the title of world's worst joke-teller. Jokes so awful they will make you wince, groan and bang your head in disbelief. And should you tell them to your friends, they won't be your friends much longer. Dip in, and prepare not to be amused.