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World's Worst Jokes
By Tony Husband. 2006
Most joke books at least attempt to make you laugh. A chuckle, a giggle, even an outright guffaw. Something you…
can repeat to your friends and be guaranteed to raise a smile. That's what a joke book is for. Right? Well, not this one.This is a collection of the world's most cringe-worthy jokes told by Tony Husband, proud contender for the title of world's worst joke-teller. Jokes so awful they will make you wince, groan and bang your head in disbelief. And should you tell them to your friends, they won't be your friends much longer. Dip in, and prepare not to be amused.The World's Scariest Jokebook
By John Byrne. 2001
A hilarious collection of jokes about all things spooky and scary; including witches, ghosts, vampires, werewolves and other horrible creatures.…
Hundreds of original jokes and cartoons, as well as fun features and mad ads, all given the distinctive John Byrne treatment.The Wonderful World of Ladybird Books for Grown-Ups (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)
By Jason Hazeley, Joel Morris. 2018
'After the success of their ingenious idea of matching pictures from Ladybird's archive with prose that mocks the mores of…
modern life, they are bowing out with a bang with this compendium' - Sunday TelegraphFrom the people who gave you classics such as The Ladybird Book of The Hangover and The Ladybird Book of The Mid-Life Crisis, they bring you this collection of what could have been. Imagine a world where there aren't just the thirty-two Ladybird Books for Grown-Ups you've seen in your local bookshop or downstairs toilet but hundreds and hundreds more...In this coffee-table book you don't have to, with never before seen covers, excerpts and paraphernalia from the archives, colourfully presented and helpfully divided into the following chapters:- Fun & Games- Adventure - The World Around Us- At Work- At Home- Coping - Not Coping- Giving Up'I do not hasten to say that these books are the new Da Vinci Code.' Aisling Bea'These books are small masterpieces. They make me glad I learned to read.' David Quantick'HILARIOUS. Beserkly brilliant.' Mel GiedroycJeremy Clarkson, shares his opinions on just about everything in The World According to Clarkson. Jeremy Clarkson has seen rather…
more of the world than most. He has, as they say, been around a bit. And as a result, he's got one or two things to tell us about how it all works - and being Jeremy Clarkson he's not about to voice them quietly, humbly and without great dollops of humour. In The World According to Clarkson, he reveals why it is that:• Too much science is bad for our health• '70s rock music is nothing to be ashamed of• Hunting foxes while drunk and wearing night-sights is neither big nor clever• We must work harder to get rid of cricket• He liked the Germans (well, sometimes)With a strong dose of common sense that is rarely, if ever, found inside the M25, Clarkson hilariously attacks the pompous, the ridiculous, the absurd and the downright idiotic, whilst also celebrating the eccentric, the clever and the sheer bloody brilliant. Less a manifesto for living and more a road map to modern life, The World According to Clarkson is the funniest book you'll read this year. Don't leave home without it.The World According to Clarkson is a hilarious collection of Jeremy's Sunday Times columns and the first in his The World According to Clarkson series which also includes And Another Thing . . . , For Crying Out Loud! and How Hard Can It Be?Praise for Jeremy Clarkson:'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time OutNumber-one bestseller and presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld, and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Carscan be downloaded on the App Store.The Wonder of Whiffling: And Other Extraordinary Words In The English Language
By Adam Jacot de Boinod. 2009
The Wonder of Whiffling is a hugely enjoyable, surprising and rewarding tour of English around the globe (with fine coinages…
from our English-speaking cousins across the pond, Down Under and elsewhere).Discover all sorts of words you've always wished existed but never knew, such as fornale, to spend one's money before it has been earned; cagg, a solemn vow or resolution not to get drunk for a certain time; and petrichor, the pleasant smell that accompanies the first rain after a dry spell. Delving passionately into the English language, Adam Jacot de Boinod also discovers why it is you wouldn't want to have dinner with a vice admiral of the narrow seas, why Jacobites toasted the little gentleman in black velvet, and why a Nottingham Goodnight is better than one from anywhere else.If there's one thing that everyone has an opinion about it's how to bring up a child - especially your…
child. Kate Konopicky found herself an embattled mother, knowing that however hard she worked everything was wrong. If she went back to full-time employment she was neglecting her child. If she stayed at home the child would be clingy and shy. So, she became a combination of teacher, nurse, nutritionist, psychologist, entertainer and mind reader. She didn't get weekends off and never phoned in sick when she wanted a lie-in. The boss was illogical, demanding, incapable of undertaking the simplest task. Yes, we've all had jobs like that but at least we got paid for them. Kate Konopicky is an anarchic voice in the face of regimented parenting books. With brilliant humour, she'll make you believe you're not a failure when your fairy cakes don't rise, and you'll slowly come to realise that you may not be perfect but that you are doing your best.'A wildly irreverent look at the parenting game. This riotous look back over her first five years of motherhood will come as a relief to imperfect parents everywhere - in other words, to all parents.' You MagazineNational Geographic Kids Just Joking Lol (Nat Geo - Just Joking Ser.)
By National Geographic Kids. 2017
Get ready to LOL! This collectible little book is packed with 300 silly kid-friendly jokes paired with photos of laughing…
animals and funny people. It's a hilarious party starter or "quiet-time" entertainer, perfect to read alone or aloud with friends and family. It's also a great book to toss into a backpack to share at school or camp.You Need More Sleep: Advice from Cats
By Francesco Marciuliano. 2015
Our feline friends have spent eons observing, napping, pondering, napping, and taking notes about the human condition. In between naps,…
they've realized that we humans could use some catlike guidance when it comes to handling the ups and downs of life. In this book they've condescended to share their invaluable wisdom in short advice columns such as "Always Stay at Least 30 Feet from a Loved One" and "Never Let Anyone Dress You." Whether it's coping with romance, surviving a social gathering, or clawing your way to the top of the corporate ladder only to realize you can't get down, the cats in this ebook will have you relaxed and ready to take on the world! Just after one more nap.The Wit and Wisdom of Test Match Special
By Dan Waddell. 2015
‘He played that so late, it was almost posthumous.’ (John Arlott)For over fifty years, Test Match Special has provided the…
soundtrack to many cricket fans’ lives – now this book collects its greatest hits. Here are all the witty sayings, bons mots, doubles entendres, wise words and priceless moments from the whole TMS team past and present, and of course their many and varied celebrity guests. Whether it’s classic Test moments or hilarious asides from the boundary, you’ll find the perfect line for every occasion. Collecting over half a century of quips and quotes, and beautifully illustrated throughout, The Wit and Wisdom of Test Match Special is a cricket fan’s indispensable guide to bats, bowls, beards and bakes.Winkle: The Extraordinary Life of Britain’s Greatest Pilot
By Paul Beaver. 2023
Discover the daring life story and astonishing adventures of Captain Eric 'Winkle' Brown - Britain's greatest-ever pilotSmall in stature but…
immense in reputation and talent, there was more to Eric 'Winkle' Brown than met the eye.From shooting down Luftwaffe bombers from the deck of a carrier in the Battle of the Atlantic and narrowly escaping death when his ship was torpedoed, to accumulating a never-to-be repeated litany of world records and firsts as a test pilot, his unparalleled flying career saw him take the controls of over four hundred different kinds of aircraft - more than any other pilot in history.A rival to Chuck Yeager and hero to Neil Armstrong, by the time of his appearance on Desert Island Discs' 1000th episode Winkle had become a legend in his own lifetime, and by his death, a national treasure.But despite his enormous fame, there have always been mysteries at the heart of Winkle's story.Now, drawing on previously unseen documents and unfettered access to Winkle's own personal archive, Paul Beaver uncovers the complex and enigmatic man behind the legend - the real story of Britain's greatest pilot.A story Winkle insisted could only be told after his death . . .----------'Compelling, fascinating and frequently jaw-dropping. A brilliant and revelatory biography' JAMES HOLLAND'Beaver recounts the story of a man he regarded as a mentor in unshowy but fascinating detail, and restores a British hero to his rightful place' OBSERVER'[A] thumping great biography by Britain's leading aviation historian' DAILY MAIL, 'BOOK OF THE WEEK''Winkle Brown's astonishing adventures make for fascinating reading' SUNDAY TIMES'An excellent biography' PATRICK BISHOP, DAILY TELEGRAPH'The extraordinary story [of] a fearless pilot and decorated war hero. Epic' THE HERALD'A thrilling new biography' DAILY EXPRESS'A thumping great biography of the flying ace who made Top Gun look tame ... enthralling' DAILY MAIL'Riveting ... one of those must-read books, compelling and full of incidents that leave you gasping with surprise ... an incredible story' FLYER'An incredible life ... Brown took a secret to the grave that makes his story all the more remarkable' THE SUNWinging It: Twenty-one extraordinary interviews from The Tommy Tiernan Show
By Tommy Tiernan. 2020
'A great read' Brendan O'Connor, RTÉIn nearly three decades as a performer, Tommy Tiernan has never wanted to play it…
safe. So, when it came to doing a chat show, he threw out the rule book: going in blind, not knowing who would turn up. It could be a global star, like Adam Clayton, or a statesman like Michael D Higgins, or someone unknown to Tommy (and most of his audience), like autism awareness activist, Ciara-Beth Ni Ghriofa or geneticist Aoife McLysaght. It's high-wire stuff and makes for electrifying viewing. Winging It brings together twenty-one extraordinary interviews from The Tommy Tiernan Show on RTÉ One - a mix of the profound, the profane, the funny and the moving.Tommy's belief in honest conversation is at the heart of Winging It. Whether getting to grips with the finer points of boxing with World Champion Kellie Harrington or preserving history with archivist Catriona Crowe. Or talking God with old friend Michael Harding or mental health with Blindboy Boatclub. Or sitting with moments of pain in conversations about grief (Bob Geldof), FGM (Ifrah Ahmed) or drinking (Paul McGrath). It's all about curiosity, bravery and a willingness to listen.Winging It includes material that did not make the TV screen and the interviews are as gripping to read as they were to watch.'Tiernan is superb at forming a rapport ... Seeing his words written down, reveals a natural instinct for drawing people out' Business PostWhy You Need a Passport When You're Going to Puke (Mitchell Symons' Trivia Books #6)
By Mitchell Symons. 2010
DID YOU KNOW . . .Square watermelons are sold in Japan?There is a River Piddle in Dorset?Americans use enough toilet…
paper daily to wrap around the world nine times?Mitchell Symons goes global - join him on his fun fact-finding world tour!Why Men Skim Stones: An Illustrated A-Z of Modern Man
By Chris Windle. 2015
Have you ever watched a man angling in the rain, building a shelter when there’s a bed waiting for him…
at home or peeing as high as he can up a wall?In Why Men Skim Stones, Chris Windle provides an amusing and indispensable insight into why men do the things they do. Here, finally, is a guide that tackles the big questions: why do male friends express their affection by subjecting each other to casual acts of violence? Why is it common for a man to have more of an idea of what he might do in the event of a zombie apocalypse, than what he might buy his mum for Christmas? If you’ve ever been dumbfounded when faced with a man who would rather talk to an inanimate object than read the instruction booklet, this is the book for you.Why Men Skim Stones is a compendium of oddness which, by offering explanations for man’s often bizarre behaviour, seeks to promote tolerance and understanding. This is a book that could save relationships, smooth family life or provide much needed reassurance for any man seeking to better understand his own actions.Why is Q Always Followed by U?: Word-Perfect Answers to the Most-Asked Questions About Language
By Michael Quinion. 2009
Long-time word-detective and bestselling author of Port Out, Starboard Home, Michael Quinion brings us the answers to nearly two hundred…
of the most intriguing questions he's been asked about language over the years. Sent to him by enquiring readers from all around the globe, Michael's answers about the meanings and histories behind the quirky phrases, slang and language that we all use are set to delight, amuse and enlighten even the most hardened word-obsessive.Did you know that 'Blighty' comes from an ancient Arabic word? Or that Liberace cried his way to the bank so many times people think he came up with the phrase? That 'cloud nine' started out as 'cloud seven' in the speakeasies of '30s America? And that the first person to have their thunder stolen was a dismal playwright from Drury Lane? Michael Quinion's Why is Q Always Followed By U? is full of surprising discoveries, entertaining quotations and memorable information. There are plenty of colourful stories out there, but Michael Quinion will help you discover the truth that lies behind the cock-and-bull stories and make sure you're always linguistically on the ball.American Cheese: An Indulgent Odyssey Through the Artisan Cheese World
By Joe Berkowitz. 2020
From the author of Away with Words, a deeply hilarious and unexpectedly insightful deep-dive into a cultural and culinary phenomenon: cheese.“Who…
knew it was possible to enjoy reading about cheese as much as eating it? Remarkably entertaining, deeply insightful, and downright hilarious, American Cheese goes far beyond the plastic yellow slices we all know, and some love, revealing a community as quirky, passionate, and creative as the cheese they put into the world.” — Jim Gaffigan, comedian/actor and New York Times bestselling author of Food: A Love StoryJoe Berkowitz loves cheese. Or at least he thought he did. After stumbling upon an artisinal tasting at an upscale cheese shop one Valentine’s Day, he realized he’d hardly even scratched the surface. These cheeses were like nothing he had ever tasted—a visceral drug-punch that reverberated deliciousness—and they were from America. He felt like he was being let in a great cosmic secret, and instantly he was in love.This discovery inspired Joe to embark on the cheese adventure of a lifetime, spending a year exploring the subculture around cheese, from its trenches to its command centers. He dove headfirst into the world of artisan cheese; of premiere makers and mongers, cave-dwelling affineurs, dairy scientists, and restauranteurs. The journey would take him around the world, from the underground cheese caves in Paris to the mountains of Gruyere, leaving no curd unturned, all the while cultivating an appreciation for cheese and its place in society.Joe’s journey from amateur to aficionado eventually comes to mirror the rise of American cheese on the world stage. As he embeds with Team USA at an international mongering competition and makes cheese in the experimental vats at the Dairy Research Center in Wisconsin, one of the makers he meets along the way gears up to make America’s biggest splash ever at the World Cheese Awards. Through this odyssey of cheese, an unexpected culture of passionate cheesemakers is revealed, along with the extraordinary impact of one delicious dairy product.Slow Getting Up: A Story of NFL Survival from the Bottom of the Pile
By Nate Jackson. 2014
One man's odyssey into the brutal hive of the National Football LeagueAs an unsigned free agent who rose through the…
practice squad to the starting lineup of the Denver Broncos, Nate Jackson took the path of thousands of unknowns before him to carve out a professional football career twice as long as the average player. Through his story recounted here—from scouting combines to preseason cuts to byzantine film studies to glorious touchdown catches—even knowledgeable football fans will glean a new, starkly humanized understanding of the NFL's workweek. Fast-paced, lyrical, dirty, and hilariously unvarnished, Slow Getting Up is an unforgettable look at the real lives of America's best athletes putting their bodies and minds through hell.Carnivore: A Memoir of a Cavalry Scout at War
By Dillard Johnson, James Tarr. 2013
Amid ferocious fighting that many times nearly took his life, Sergeant Dillard "C. J." Johnson and his crew are recognized…
by Pentagon reports to have accounted for astonishing enemy KIA totals while battling inside and out of the "Carnivore," the Bradley Fighting Vehicle Johnson commanded during Operation Iraqi Freedom. After miraculously beating stage-three cancer (caused by radiation exposure from firing armor-piercing depleted-uranium rounds during combat), he returned to his platoon in Baghdad for a second tour, often serving as a sniper protecting his fellow troops. Today, Johnson and his men's story is the stuff of legend—earning them a cover story in Soldier of Fortune and a display in the Fort Stewart Museum. But only now is Johnson telling his full story: reviewed and approved for publication by the Department of Defense, Carnivore is the gripping and unflinchingly honest autobiography of a remarkable American warrior."The estimated enemy KIAs for Staff Sergeant Johnson’s BIFV [Bradley Infantry Fighting Vehicle] during this fight [22 March, 2003] was 488. The informal estimate from the troop was that Johnson and his crew killed at least 1,000 Iraqis on 23 March. Later in the move north, Johnson engaged and destroyed 20 trucks and tallied 314 KIAs in the vicinity of An Najaf. At Objective FLOYD, Johnson’s platoon fought yet another bitter fight against what they claim was a thousand paramilitary troops. … Events were corroborated by separate interviews with the remainder of C/3-7 CAV, to include the troop commander." —On Point: The United States Army in Operation Iraqi Freedom, the official study of the 2003 invasion commissioned by the U.S. Army Chief of StaffWord Perfect: Etymological Entertainment For Every Day of the Year
By Susie Dent. 2020
'Susie Dent is a one-off. She breathes life and fun into words and language' Pam Ayres'Susie Dent is a national…
treasure' Richard OsmanWelcome to a year of wonder with Susie Dent, lexicographer, logophile, and longtime queen of Countdown's Dictionary Corner.From the real Jack the Lad to the theatrically literal story behind stealing someone's thunder, from tartle (forgetting someone's name at the very moment you need it) to snaccident (the unintentional eating of an entire packet of biscuits), WORD PERFECT is a brilliant linguistic almanac full of unforgettable stories, fascinating facts, and surprising etymologies tied to every day of the year. You'll never be lost for words again.Samurai: The Last Warrior: A History
By John Man. 2014
The definitive history of the Samurai, by acclaimed author of Ninja: 1,000 Years of the Shadow Warrior“One could ask for…
no better storyteller or analyst than John Man.” —Simon Sebag Montefiore, author of Jerusalem: The Biography The inspiration for the Jedi knights of Star Wars and the films of Akira Kurosawa, the legendary Japanese samurai have captured modern imaginations. Yet with these elite warriors who were bound by a code of honor called Bushido—the Way of the Warrior—the reality behind the myth proves more fascinating than any fiction. In Samurai, celebrated author John Man provides a unique and captivating look at their true history, told through the life of one man: Saigo Takamori, known to many as "the last samurai." In 1877 Takamori led a rebel army of samurai in a heroic "last stand" against the Imperial Japanese Army, who sought to end the "way of the sword" in favor of firearms and modern warfare. Man's thrilling narrative brings to life the hidden world of the samurai as never before.The badasses populating the pages of Badass are the most savagely awesome historical figures to ever strap on a pair of…
chain mail gauntlets and run screaming into battle. Author Ben Thompson—considered by many to be the Internet’s foremost expert on badassitude—has gathered together a rogues’ gallery of butt-stomping rogues, from Julius Caesar and Genghis Khan to Blackbeard, George S. Patton, and Bruce Lee. Their bone-breaking exploits are illustrated by top artist from the fields of gaming, comics, and cards—DC Comics illustrator Matt Haley and Thomas Denmark, illustrator for the collectible card game Magic: The Gathering. This is not your boring high school history—this is tough, manly, unrelentingly Badass!