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The unofficial Harry Potter joke book: great guffaws for Gryffindor (Unofficial Harry Potter Joke Book)
By Brian Boone, Amanda Brack. 2017
Hundreds of jokes and riddles highlighting the world of witchcraft and wizardry at Hogwarts. Includes categories such as all things…
quidditch, jokes for dark lords, and Tom Riddle's riddles. For grades 2-4 and older readers. 2017The unofficial Harry Potter joke book: stupefying shenanigans for Slytherin (Unofficial Harry Potter Joke Book)
By Brian Boone, Amanda Brack. 2018
Hundreds of jokes and riddles a Slytherin would love. Includes categories such as Draco's Burn Ward, Knock-Knockturn Alley, and jokes…
that will make you want to self-obliviate. For grades 2-4 and older readers. 2018The Murdstone trilogy
By Mal Peet. 2015
Philip Murdstone's literary agent convinces him that his career is stalled and that he needs to change genres and try…
to write a fantasy novel. Unenthused, Philip struggles until, while walking on the moors, he meets a strange, small man named Pocket Wellfair. Some strong language. 2014My Southern journey: true stories from the heart of the South
By Rick Bragg. 2015
Essays about life in the American South by the author of popular memoirs like All Over but the Shoutin' (DB…
46142). The seventy-two essays, many of which originally appeared in Southern Living magazine, are broken down into categories of "Home," "Table," "Place," "Craft," and "Spirit."2015Every day is an atheist holiday!: more magical tales from the author of God, no!
By Penn Jillette. 2012
Twenty-five essays from comedic magician about the theme of holidays and what they mean to atheists. Jillette also discusses being…
a celebrity and atheist in a culture that he claims places a high value on religious beliefs. Strong language. 2012Great-Grandpa's in the litter box (The zack Files Ser. #1)
By Dan Greenburg. 1996
Ten-year-old Zack goes to the animal shelter to find a pet. He returns with a scruffy tomcat, who not only…
talks but claims to be the reincarnation of Zack's great-grandpa Julius. For grades 2-4. 1996Kevin Kling's Holiday Inn
By Kevin Kling. 2009
National Public Radio commentator pens good-humored autobiographical stories about holidays throughout the year. Describes celebrating his fourth birthday inside a…
glass "cage" at the Shriners Hospital for Crippled Children, after measles postponed his operation, and holding his breath--and fainting--during Easter services at church. 2009Daisy Dooley does divorce
By Anna Pasternak. 2007
Daisy Dooley, a thirty-nine-year-old divorced Londoner living with her dachshund-breeder mum, rejoins the dating world. For support, Daisy relies on…
her friends--bachelorette Jess, seemingly happily married Lucy, and commitment-phobic Miles--as she navigates the singles scene searching for true love. Strong language and some descriptions of sex. 2007SpongeBob SquarePants jokes from the Krusty Krab (Spongebob Squarepants Ser.)
By David Lewman. 2005
Humor from SpongeBob and his pals. Some examples are: "What did SpongeBob say to the Krabby Patty? Pleased to eat…
you!" and "When does butter do its best? When it's on a roll." For grades 2-4. 2005Lenny and Mel (Beginning chapter book)
By Erik P. Kraft. 2002
Twin brothers Lenny and Mel celebrate holidays in some unusual ways. After eating Thanksgiving turkey for a week, the boys…
put the remains under Mel's pillow for the Leftover Fairy to exchange for money. Beginning chapter book. For grades 2-4. 2002Squids will be squids: fresh morals, beastly fables
By Jon Scieszka. 1998
Eighteen modern fables with fresh morals about bossy, sneaky, funny, annoying, "dim-bulb" people--all disguised as animals to avoid hurting anyone's…
feelings. Topics include homework, using the telephone on the right occasion, friendship, and dinner-table talk. For grades 3-6The great brain is back (The Great Brain #8.)
By John Fitzgerald, Diane DeGroat. 1995
In this final book about the Great Brain (the manuscript was found after the author's death), J.D. narrates eight more…
tales about how his big brother, Tom, now thirteen, continues to swindle people out of their money. Tom convinces J.D. to sell bars of soap, he almost outwits Polly Reagan in the spelling bee, and he helps rescue a gang of outlaws. For grades 4-7The Toilet Paper Tigers
By Gordon Korman. 1993
By the time Professor Pendergast shows up at a Little League meeting to pick his team, there are only nine…
players left--all rejects. The team soon learns the professor knows nothing about baseball and has volunteered to coach just so his visiting granddaughter will have children around! But the worst horror is the jive-talking, smart-aleck granddaughter from New York who blackmails the team into letting her coach them. For grades 5-8Nasty stinky sneakers
By Eve Bunting. 1994
The Slam Dunkers sneakers company is having a contest, and the person with the stinkiest sneakers will win three pairs…
of its popular brand. Ten-year-old Colin knows he has a great chance of winning. After careful handling, his sneakers are so foul his mother makes him leave them in the hall outside their apartment. Then, the day before the contest, someone steals Colin's shoes! For grades 4-7See you around, Sam!
By Lois Lowry. 1996
Four-year-old Sam Krupnik comes home from school delighted with a set of fangs that makes him look disgusting. His mother…
won't let him wear them in the house, so Sam decides to run away to Alaska. But after Sam leaves home, he needs food and a drink of water--and maybe there isn't any reason to hurry to Alaska. For grades 3-6Bible Tales for Ages 18 and Up
By G. Richard Bozarth. 2014
In 1947, Dr. Sebaceous Piafraus discovered the Terminally Ill Sea Scrolls in the same month the Dead Sea Scrolls were…
found. The Dead Sea Scrolls became internationally famous, but the Terminally Ill Sea Scrolls were consigned to obscurity, along with their discoverer. Dr. Piafraus, who endured decades of ego-bruising neglect, provides translations of well-known Old Testament stories, which he insists are the most authentic versions of the stories because the Jewish eschatological cult that created the Scrolls claimed that they were. These stories are more fully developed than in the Old Testament and are humorous, though some parts are appalling, because Bible stories often are appalling.Novelists
By C. P. Boyko. 2014
Novelists: the soul of an age, certainly. Brilliant? Perhaps. Yet aren't they also doddering, petulant, pedantic, knockkneed, skittish, and thunderingly…
insecure-resentful, awkward, annoying-demanding, deluded, and vexingly indifferent to reality? New from short fiction devotée C.P. Boyko, Novelists is a comedy of manners (and manuscripts), rivalling Vanity Fair for its satirical wit... though not, mercifully, for its length.To Be or Not To Be: A Chooseable-Path Adventure
By Ryan North. 2013
The greatest work in English literature, now in the greatest format of English literature: a chooseable-path adventure! When Shakespeare wrote…
Hamlet he gave the world just one possible storyline, drawn from a constellation of billions of alternate narratives. And now you can correct that horrible mistake! Play as Hamlet and avenge your father's death--with ruthless efficiency this time. Play as Ophelia and change the world with your scientific brilliance. Play as Hamlet's father and die on the first page, then investigate your own murder... as a ghost! Featuring over 100 different endings, each illustrated by today's greatest artists, incredible side quests, fun puzzles, and a book-within-a-book instead of a play-within-a-play, To Be or Not To Be offers up new surprises and secrets every time you read it.You decide this all sounds extremely excellent, and that you will definitely purchase this book right away. Because as the Bard said: "to be or not to be... that is the adventure."...You're almost certain that's how it goes.To Be or Not To Be originally launched as a record-breaking Kickstarter project. This new, reader-friendly edition features the same text and illustrations as the original version, redesigned to take up half as many pages and weigh a whole pound less.A Bundle of Neurotica: Eight Neurotica Short Stories (Neurotica)
By D. B. Shuster. 2015
"A wicked romp through the hallowed halls of academia!"Laugh out loud at these clever and sexy tales. Academia has never…
been so naughty!The university men in Professor Melanie Stevenson's life pressure her to take her proper place--under them. While the proper professor indulges in daring daydreams of...submitting to their will, her "evil" twin, Violet, takes on the role of academic avenger and cracks the whip, so to speak, to work out the kinks in higher education. Written by a college professor, this witty series takes a darkly funny look at the neurotic people and politics of higher education. These eight consecutive short stories tell a larger tale with rich characters, escalating stakes, and steamy action. What Readers are Saying"Timid Professors, evil twins and a good dose of slightly naughty will have you chuckling over the office water cooler.""Love this series! Smart, funny, and sexy. Great brain candy!""Hot and hillarious!""These are awesome. They're over the top enough to be funny but really, really good."Excerpt from "Spanking the Chair""Spanked?" he repeated, his voice cracking. She licked her lips and nodded, knowing she had his full interest now."Yes, spanked." She coiled a lock of hair around her finger, looked down at her own knees. "You know, sometimes I miss that.""You miss being spanked?""It was so cathartic, you know? A hot hand on my backside, a good wallop, and all the bad was purged out of me. I'd done my penance and could go back to being good again." "I don't know what to say," he said. Perhaps not, but his thoughts broadcast loud and clear, as he undressed her with his eyes and likely imagined turning her over his knee. So not going to happen."Do you feel you need to be punished for what you've done?" he asked."I know corporal punishment is out of vogue," she said. "But truly, it could be so therapeutic." His head bounced like a bobble head as he communicated his willingness to give her what he most desired, him in the role of punisher.Time to change the game.She crossed her legs, leaned forward, and dropped her voice to a husky whisper. "Have you ever been spanked, Simon?"Encyclopaedia of Hell
By Mahendra Singh, Tony Millionaire, Martin Olson. 2011
A tour de force of darkness, Encyclopaedia of Hell is a manual of Earth written by Lord Satan for his…
invading hordes of demons, complete with hundreds of unpleasant illustrations, diagrams, and a comprehensive and utterly repulsive dictionary of Earth terms.Since the customs and mores of humanity are alien and inconceivable to demons, Satan wrote this strangely poetic military handbook for the enlightenment and edification of his demon armies. A masterpiece expressing Satan's hatred for humanity and himself, the Encyclopaedia includes "Techniques of Stalking and Eating Humans," "Methods of Canning Human Pus," and "Dicing and Slicing Orphaned Children."Why the invasion? During the last century in particular, Hell has become seriously overcrowded. Satan needs more land mass for the damned and to use the human livestock to feed his hungry demon invaders.Since this book is the 666th commemorative edition, this Encyclopaedia contains special commemorative material.Martin Olson's savage wit provides the firepower for a preposterous literary feat unaccomplished since Mark Twain passed-channeling the real voice of Satan. Over the past fifteen years, Olson has written and produced nine comedy specials, inflicted on the populace via CBS, HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, and A&E.