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Showing 1 - 10 of 10 items
By Lawrence Dorfman. 2011
Bah! Humbug! It's that time of year again. Time to spend too much, drink too much, eat too much, smile…
falsely, dig down deep to try and find "good cheer," battle crowds, try to find parking in over-crowded lots, ignore surly clerks, bartenders, waiters, valets, and parking lot attendants, all in the pursuit of that moment of happiness known throughout the world as--dun, dun, dun: the Holidays. Has there ever been a time more suited to tapping into snark? With commentary, jokes, and quotes regarding Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, New Year's; on bad presents, worse in-laws, horrible children, and much more glorious excess. UnratedBy Calvin Trillin. 1987
By Caralyn Buehner, Mark Buehner. 2004
By Kevin Henkes. 2013
Seven-year-old Billy Miller starts second grade at Georgia O'Keeffe Elementary School in Constant, Wisconsin, with a bump on his head…
and lots of worries. But his adventures with friends, homework, and family keep him busy all year long. For grades K-3. 2013By Lisa Yee. 2007
Stanford Wong's father cancels basketball camp and enrolls him in summer school after Stanford flunks sixth-grade English. It gets worse:…
his mom hires Millicent Min, brainiac nerd and Stanford's mortal enemy, to tutor him. Companion to Millicent Min, Girl Genius (BR 15702). For grades 5-8. 2005By Ambrose Bierce. 1993
Born in Ohio in 1842, journalist, short-story writer and critic Ambrose Bierce developed into one of this country's most celebrated…
and cynical wits--a merciless "American Swift" whose literary barbs were aimed at folly, self-delusion, politics, business, religion, literature and the arts. In this splendid "dictionary" of epigrams, essays, verses and vignettes, you'll find over 1,000 pointed definitions, e.g. Congratulation ("The civility of envy"), Coward ("One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs") and Historian ("A broad-gauge gossip"). Anyone who likes to laugh will love The Devil's Dictionary. Anyone looking for a bon mot to enliven their next speech, paper or conversation will have a field day thumbing through what H. L. Mencken called "some of the most gorgeous witticisms in the English language."By Ambrose Bierce. 2011
"Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen." "Lawyer: One skilled in circumvention of the law." "Positive:…
Mistaken at the top of one's voice." These and more than 1,000 other comic definitions appear in Ambrose Bierce's wicked satire of conventional dictionaries. An ideal gift for lovers of language, this classic of American humor features a wealth of quips praised by H. L. Mencken as "some of the most gorgeous witticisms in the English language."By Ambrose Bierce.
The Devil's Dictionary is a satirical dictionary written by American journalist and author Ambrose Bierce. Originally published in 1906 as…
The Cynic's Word Book, it features Bierce's witty and often ironic spin on many common English words. Retitled in 1911, it has been followed by numerous "unabridged" versions compiled after Bierce's death, which include definitions absent from earlier editions.By Diane Muldrow. 2014
Next in the EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW... series comes a book perfect for your valentine, your family, or YOU.…
Charming and witty as ever, this new treasury of insights reveals that, for all the love-related mystery and confusion we face as adults, those Little Golden Books may have had the answers all along.By Dave Dunseath. 2005
Is it time for you to just give up?Because every time you aim low, you&’ll feel like you&’ve died and…
gone to Disneyland. You&’ll be in a place where you&’re never concerned about hard work, a place where you never feel guilty for goofing off all day, a place where nobody expects anything from you, a place where choosing to eat a third corn dog--or not--will be the hardest decision of your day.No, You Can&’t also offers such crumbs of wisdom as:Hope is a crutch. Crutches are only good for getting two things: awesome parking at the mall and sympathy dates. Otherwise, they will just slow you down.You can&’t be a failure when you have no hope of winning.Whoever said nothing is easy has never tried quitting.Aiming low is as easy as breathing. You can practically do it without thinking. And the skills required to get there--like quitting and making excuses--take less time to learn than you might imagine. All you need is No, You Can&’t and the stark realization that you don&’t really want to &“be all that you can be.&” In fact, your expectations can go so low that anything you DO achieve is completely surprising.