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The Passion of the Hausfrau: Motherhood, Illuminated
By Nicole Chaison. 2009
Behold, brave readers! Herein lies the first epic hero’s journey told by a mother–the Hausfrau, whose odyssey is a 24/7…
adventure of pandemonium, sleep deprivation, madness, and transcendence. But beware! This journey is not for the faint of heart, as Nicole Chaison (a. k. a. the Hausfrau) boldly demonstrates in this brilliantly witty and vivid graphic memoir. The Hausfrau weaves a tale of sidesplitting trials and addresses age-old questions: Does a good mother have to give up her own dreams? What is a good mother, anyway? And is there a bathing suit that will fit her gargantuan behind? And so the journey unfolds, illuminating all things mommy, including • The Laborynth: an intricate maze of hormones, exhaustion, and ego struggles. • the Björn Conspiracy: Can a mother go to the bathroom with a slumbering newborn tethered to her chest? • Monsterfrau moments: Hell hath no fury like a sleep- and serotonin-deprived Hausfrau. • the Unhip Mama: Piercings, spiky hair, and tattoos do not a trendy mama make. • a Hausfrau Holiday Bake-off: yet another portrait Norman Rockwell forgot to paint. Fiercely funny, wholly original, and sure to be recognizable to mothers everywhere, The Passion of the Hausfrau is filled with the messiness, meltdowns, mayhem, and bliss of modern motherhood.Strangeways to Oldham: Belchester Chronicle (The Belchester Chronicles #1)
By Andrea Frazer. 2012
From the author of the Falconer Files, a series featuring a pair of amateur sleuths and a delightful outpouring of…
English upper-class eccentricities – with the odd murder thrown in. Lady Amanda Golightly of Belchester Towers is a person in complete contrast to the stereotypical image of one of her breeding. She is short, portly, and embarrassingly forthright. If she wasn’t calling a spade a shovel, it was only because she was calling it 'trumps'!On a visit to a local nursing home where an old business partner of her father's is residing, she unexpectedly discovers a long-lost friend, Hugo Cholmondley-Crichton-Crump – and stumbles upon murder as well.Installing Hugo in the more civilised and comfortable surroundings of Belchester Towers, the pair turn to sleuthing after Lady Amanda reports her appalling discovery to the local police inspector and is incensed when he treats her as a silly old biddy with an over-active imagination. Her outrage prompts her to teach the impertinent young whipper-snapper a lesson, and she and Hugo (Zimmer frame in tow) embark upon their first investigation, only for murder to become a distressingly frequent occurrence …ALL TEACHERS GREAT AND SMALL tells the true story of Andy's first year at Cragthwaite Primary School - how he…
bravely negotiated the vagaries of the local dialect, made disastrous bids to provide a family home, naively and hilariously tried out new-fangled ideas in a school stuck in a 1950s time warp, and ultimately discovered a little part of England he was proud to call home.Warm, touching and very funny, All Teachers Great and Small transports you to a time that may be gone but has never been forgotten.ALL TEACHERS WISE AND WONDERFUL: A year on from the end of ALL TEACHERS GREAT AND SMALL, Barbara and Andy Seed are settled into their Dales village, but at school trouble arrives for Andy in the form of nine-year-old Sheena. After two years in the job, Andy Seed returns to Cragthwaite brimming with confidence and looking forward to a year that is bound to bring its own rewards, as well as its share of mishaps and misadventures. But even he didn't anticipate exploding piggy banks, bottle-rocket missiles, and actually deafening Dracula. At home, Andy and Barbara are enjoying life with little Tom, and are expecting again. Meanwhile, a new friendship is formed with hill farmer Adam. Adam proves both an inspiration and a confidante for Andy, and through him he begins to see the light with troubled Sheena. The second in Andy's trilogy about life as a Yorkshire Dales teacher, this is as warm, witty and refreshing as the first, full of colourful anecdotes from village and school life.Andy Seed is beginning his fifth year teaching at Cragthwaite Primary in the Yorkshire Dales, and as always a new term is full of surprises.ALL TEACHERS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL: These take the form of a beautiful, but not terribly bright, student on placement from the local teacher training college, and a particularly pushy and problematic parent with a fine line in complaining. It looks like Andy's pupils are the least of his problems...At home in Applesett, things aren't all rosy either. Barbara is forced to take a job as a postie to help pay the mortgage, which means finding someone to look after Tom and Reuben. When two old friends move into the village it looks like the problem has been solved, but it soon transpires that rural life is not for everyone.As always the book is peppered with the hilarious and heartwarming incidents that a life living and working with children inevitably contains.2500 Jokes to Start 'Em Laughing
By Robert Orben. 1979
Football Clichés
By Adam Hurrey. 2014
'A must-have' - The Telegraph'Book of the Week' - The Independent'Hilarious' - Sport MagazineIn what other context do football fans…
use the words 'aplomb' or 'derisory'? Why don't we use 'rifle' as a verb on the other six days of the week? Why do aggrieved midfielders feel the instinctive need to make a giant ball-shaped gesture with both hands after a mistimed tackle is punished? The more football Adam Hurrey watched, the more he began to spot the recurring mannerisms, behaviours, opinions and iconography that were mindlessly repeated in the football media. Some cliches are ridiculous, some are quaintly outdated, some have survived through their sheer indisputability. Here, featuring gloriously pseudo-scientific diagrams and the inimitable writing style that made footballcliches.com a smash hit, they are covered in all their glory.The Lost Sock
By Gillian Johnson. 2014
When a man loses one of his favourite pair of socks at the laundromat, he sets out on a quest…
to find out what happens to lost socks, and why every sock drawer contains a plethora of single socks. On his eventful journey, he discovers why you always lose the sock you love, visits a sockiatrist who teaches him about the Planet of Lost Socks, and eventually finds his perfect partner at a puppet show. A wryly sweet story of love, loss and destiny.Broetry: Poetry for Dudes
By Brian Mcgackin. 2011
As contemporary poets sing the glories of birds, birch trees, and menstruation, regular guys are left scratching their heads. Who…
can speak for Everyman? Who will articulate his love for Xbox 360, for Mama Celeste's frozen pizza, for the cinematic oeuvre of Bruce Willis? Enter Broetry--a stunning debut from a dazzling new literary voice. "Broet Laureate" Brian McGackin goes where no poet has gone before--to Star Wars conventions, to frat parties, to video game tournaments, and beyond. With poems like "Ode to That Girl I Dated for, Like, Two Months Sophomore Year" and "My Friends Who Don't Have Student Loans," we follow the Bro from his high school graduation and college experience through a "quarter-life crisis" and beyond.From the Hardcover edition.Death in High Circles (The Falconer Files #10)
By Andrea Frazer. 2012
There is mischief afoot in the village of Fallow Fold. Persons unknown have been on a spree of vandalism, scratching…
cars, smashing colourful pots of flowers in full bloom, breaking greenhouse windows???and defiling a front door with a racist word, written in spray paint. The police are called, and given the unavailability of more junior personnel DI Harry Falconer and DS ?Davey? Carmichael arrive to investigate, but there are no obvious suspects.?Then a resident is attacked as he keeps a nocturnal vigil, hoping to catch whoever is responsible for the vandalism. Soon, there is a surfeit of uncharacteristic behaviour from those who live there, and Falconer begins to suspect that there is more to come.?When?the man who runs the local bridge circle disappears, there is a palpable whiff of evil in the air???which leads to a murderous attack on one of the police officers. This is a time when DI Falconer is forced to search his soul to discover what, and who, is really important in his life, and what really matters in it.Death in High Circles is the tenth full-length instalment in the Falconer Files, detective novels featuring dastardly deeds done in picture-postcard villages???and a delightful slice of humour.Keith Lemon's Big One: Little Keith Lemon & Being Keith in one book AND MORE!
By Keith Lemon. 2015
Two Keith Lemon'sss for the price of one! And some!Have you ever wondered how Keith Lemon from telly got to…
where he is today? If not, no worries. If you have then you'll find all the answers in this double whammy of LITTLE KEITH LEMON and BEING KEITH, with extra brand new chapters!The star of CELEBRITY JUICE, THROUGH THE KEYHOLE and THE KEITH LEMON SKETCH SHOW shares his incredible journey so far - from flogging Rhino Jeans on Leeds market to winning Northern Businessman of the Year, wrestling 'little people' in Mexico and finding himself sandwiched between Holly Willoughbooby and Fearne 'Nostrils' Cotton on ITV2's CELEBRITY JUICE. None of that made up stuff on Wikipedia, this is the gospel!Plus in a Bang Tidy update you can find out what it's like to write a children's book, peer through Kerry Katona's keyhole and become a Kardashian . . .Told in his own words, with photographs and illustrations from the 'strawberry blond' one himself, KEITH LEMON'S BIG ONE is the true life story of an unbelievably good lookin' lad from Leeds who became a national treasure.Truths, Half Truths and Little White Lies
By Nick Frost. 2015
'If I'm going to tell the story of a life, my life, then I need to tell it warts and…
all. If the tale is too saccharine sweet then what can the reader take away from it? What do they learn about you? I've written everything down. The shit, the death, fun, naughtiness, addiction, laughter, laughter, laughter, some tears and lots of love and happiness. That to me is a better reflection of a human's life.'Nick's family life was difficult, blighted by alcoholism, illness and sudden misfortune meaning they lost everything overnight. He left school early and drifted from job to job dogged by his own personal demons. It's something of a miracle that Nick survived and even more that he would achieve such success with his writing, acting and comedy. In Truths, Half Truths and Little White Lies Nick paints a brilliantly funny, moving and brutally candid portrait of childhood, adolescence and eventual success.Marnie The Dog: I'm a Book!
By Shirley Braha, Marnie The Dog. 2015
Once an old, sick dog who was found on the streets and named 'Stinky', Marnie the Dog got a second…
lease of life when she was adopted from a shelter at age ten. Soon, her signature looks and endearing personality would capture the hearts of not only her new owner, but nearly everyone she encountered. After photos and videos of Marnie started circulating online, Marnie began charming millions over the world. Whether you're a dog or human, Marnie proves it's never too late to start a new chapter of your life and live it to the fullest. Using a sophisticated creative process comprised of unlimited treats and lots of love, Marnie and her human companion have created their first book of never-before-seen photos, and a few classics, too. Praise for Marnie the Dog: I'm a Book: "Wow, I'm a book haha lol" - Marnie the DogGame of Scones: All Men Must Dine
By Jammy Lannister. 2016
FULLY UPDATED FOR THE FINAL SEASON!The struggle for the Iron Scone has begun and chaos reigns throughout the Seven Kingdoms.…
Appetites are rising and kings, queens, knights, liars and honest men battle it out as they play the Game of Scones.Jammy Lannister, by right of birth, blood and dough, has laid his claim to the Iron Scone of Westeros: join him as he fights his way through the kitchen, encountering edible desserts and baked goods including Unsullied Soldiers (without nuts), Brienne of Tart, Jaime and Cersei's Family Mess, Hodor's Doorstop Sandwich and Tyrion's Shortbread.ARYA HUNGRY? BECAUSE DINNER IS COMING . . .Fully updated with new recipes for the final season!Off You Go: Away from home and loving it. Sort of.
By Maeve Higgins. 2015
Maeve Higgins used to think she'd live in Ireland forever. She used to think a lot of crazy things, like…
'macadamia nuts are a light snack'. Then the stunning and humble comedian switched to almonds, gave away all of her possessions and left Ireland with just a carry-on bag filled to the brim with a positive attitude. New York has been kind to our Celtic princess and she's ready to return the favour, by making friends with as many weirdos as possible and writing about it.If you loved her last book - and everybody except her family and friends did - you'll lose your mind and break your heart at this one! Full of amazing stories (she once stayed quiet for ten days); wonderful advice (if you like a guy, get all the same tattoos as him, then introduce yourself and act surprised at the coincidence); and brilliantly unreliable memories, Off You Go will make your day, your night and your bed - if you let it.KSI: I Am a Bellend
By Ksi. 2015
Admitting you're a bell-end is the first step to salvation...KSI is one of the biggest and baddest YouTube stars on…
the planet. With over a billion views and millions of subscribers to his name, he is the undisputed king of social media. But despite this success he is a self-confessed bell-end. Excessively posting selfies, oversharing about his dead nan, spending all day scouring Tinder and suffering from red-hot Fifa rage, are just some of his undesirable online habits. However, with acceptance comes salvation and now KSI is blowing the doors off the internet to find the cure. No one is spared, as KSI takes down fellow YouTubers, trolls, paedos, Tinder catfishers and Nigerian scammers in an all-out assault on the online universe. Along the way he also reveals how to become a YouTube kingpin as well as his hot Fifa tips, before he unveils his online revolution to help save the next generation from his fate.So, if you want to avoid becoming a total bell-end, then calm your tits, and simply take the medicine KSI is dishing up.I Followed the Rules: a laugh-out-loud romcom you won't be able to put down!
By Joanna Bolouri. 2015
My friends think I'm insane, I'm stalking men all over town, and I'm on a deadline. High-flying journalist Cat Buchanan…
has been single for six years. So she's sceptical when assigned to write a story on The Rules of Engagement, a book which promises to teach women how to find the man of their dreams in ten easy steps. As far as Cat's concerned, the book belongs in 1892, but she's promised to follow it to the letter. After all, what does she have to lose by playing love at its own game? 'If you hear someone snorting beside the pool this summer, they'll reading this' GraziaGhosts/Aliens
By Trey Hamburger. 2008
Chin Up Britain
By Jenny Eclair. 2010
Chin up, Britain! Now is the time to return to basic commonsense and embrace a new austerity. Can't afford a…
holiday? Slather on some sun tan lotion that smells of coconuts, at least you'll smell like you're on holiday. Don't know what to do with a left-over half a banana? Discard it surreptitiously on the floor of a government-owned building, 'accidentally' slip on it and claim thousands of pounds of compensation. Can't afford new shoes? Polish your old ones. And if all else fails, why not sell your children on ebay?In her inimitable style, Jenny Éclair brings you helpful and hilarious tips for changing the way you live, including beauty on a budget, identifying your swappable skills (burying dead animals, tuning a freeview box), improving manners on public transport, the fine art of 'out-presenting' and a guide to gate-crashing.A hilarious guide to the lost art of artisanal pencil sharpeningHave you got the right kind of point on your…
pencil? Do you know how to achieve the perfect point for the kind of work you need out of that pencil?Deep in New York's Hudson River Valley, craftsman David Rees--the world's number one #2 pencil sharpener--still practices the age-old art of manual pencil sharpening. In 2010, he began offering his artisanal service to the world, to the jubilation of artists, writers, draftsmen, and standardized test takers.Now, in a book that is both a manifesto and a fully-illustrated walk-through of the many, many, many ways to sharpen a pencil, he reveals the secrets of his craft. By the time you're through this book, you will know how to get the perfect point on your pencil without injuring yourself. And if you think it's a joke, why don't you poke yourself with your newly sharpened pencil? Or better yet, don't--because it'll really hurt.From the Hardcover edition.The bestselling book everyone is talking about, revealing the surprising art of caring less and getting more.Are you stressed out,…
overbooked and underwhelmed by life? Fed up with pleasing everyone else before you please yourself? Finding it hard working from home? Then it's time to stop giving a f**k. This irreverent and practical book explains how to rid yourself of unwanted obligations, shame, and guilt - and give your f**ks instead to people and things that make you happy. From family dramas to having a bikini body, the simple 'NotSorry Method' for mental decluttering will help you unleash the power of not giving a f**k and will free you to spend your time, energy and money on the things that really matter.'The anti-guru' Observer'Absolutely blinding. Read it. Do it.' Mail on Sunday'Genius' Cosmopolitan'I love Knight's book even before I start reading . . . Works a charm' Sunday Times Magazine'Life-affirming . . . The key practice she advocates is devising for yourself a "fuck budget" . . . It's a beautiful way of streamlining your psyche' Lucy Mangan, GuardianALSO AVAILABLE FROM SARAH KNIGHT:YOU DO YOU: how to be who you are and use what you've got to get what you want ANDGet Your Sh*t Together - the New York Times bestseller helping you organise the f**ks you want and need to give