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High Hopes: My Autobiography
By Ronnie Corbett. 2009
A true great of British comedy, Ronald ‘Ronnie’ Corbett, is hailed as one of the finest comedians of his generation.Son…
of an Edinburgh baker, Ronnie rose to fame as one half of the infamous Two Ronnies alongside Ronnie Barker. Known for his versatility, quick-wit, family-friendly dialogue, and meandering monologues, Corbett was a staple of British television for more than 50 years. In his autobiography, he tells the complete story, from his school technique of estimating the height of a girl before daring to ask her to dance, to his days as a night club barman in London, and finally, to his decades long career as a stand-up and sitcom star. Including tales of how he first met David Frost, John Cleese and Michael Palin, this book is written with all of Ronnie’s trademark warmth and wit.Celebrating his life and career, this is Ronnie’s own honest and definitive account of his truly dramatic journey.Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now: My Difficult 80s
By Andrew Collins. 2004
'Higher education comes at exactly the right time: in the twilight of your teens, you're just starting to coagulate as…
a human being, to pull away from parental influence and find your own feet. What better than three years in which to explore the inner you, establish a feasible worldview, and maybe get on Blockbusters.'After an idyllic provincial 1970s childhood, the 1980s took Andrew Collins to London, art school and the classic student experience. Crimping his hair, casting aside his socks and sporting fingerless gloves, he became Andy Kollins: purveyor of awful poetry; disciple of moany music, and wannabe political activist. What follows is a universal tale of trainee hedonism, girl trouble, wasted grants and begging letters to parents. A synth-soundtracked rite of passage that's often painfully funny, it traces one teenager's metamorphosis from sheltered suburban innocent to semi-mature metropolitan male through the pretensions and confusions of trying to stand alone for the first time in your own kung fu pumps in a big bad city.How to Eat Cock
By Cosima Hussey. 2020
The perfect book and gift to get the most out of your cock.Brilliant protein-packed meals that don't hold back on…
the spice.' Joe Dicks, bestselling author of High Impact Intercourse Training'This delightfully raunchily-titled read is, of course, a recipe book full of tongue-in-cheek ways to cook chicken ... everything from Cockporn Poppers to Cossie's Cockatore to Cock Pot Pie.' METRO'What a title!' Gok WanBy her own admission, Cossie Hussey loves cock. With How to Eat Cock, join her on a culinary exploration and learn to know your way around cock just as well as she does.With recipes honed by a childhood spent on her family farm - from sticky southern fried cock to gobble up with your hands, served with a creamy slaw to the ultimate cock monsieur, a steamy and indulgent feast to share with your friends- let Hussey show you how to get the very best out of your cock.The Heart of the Dales
By Gervase Phinn. 1999
Escape to the country with Gervase Phinn's heartwarming tales of life as a school inspector in Yorkshire'Gervase Phinn's memoirs have…
made him a hero in school staff-rooms' Daily TelegraphHis colourful cast of characters have become firm favourites: the mostly mad staff at County Hall, as well as the children themselves, who find ways of embarrassing the school inspectors with innocent ease.In The Heart of the Dales, we reconvene with Christine Bentley, head teacher of Winnery Nook School and now Gervase's wife and mother of their son, the well-named Mrs Savage and not forgetting the Queen of Clean - Connie.Gervase Phinn has an extraordinary talent to entertain, and the latest instalment to the Dale Series is heart-warming, wry and will make you laugh out loud.Head Over Heels in the Dales
By Gervase Phinn. 2002
Join Gervase Phinn in the classroom where he faces his greatest challenge: keeping a straight face as teachers and children…
alike conspire to have him laughing out loud . . .'So funny, it will echo things that happen in your own life' 5***** Reader Review'A wonderful, entertaining and enjoyable read. The humour is infectious' 5***** Reader Review______ 'Could you tell me how to spell "sex" please?' Gervase Phinn thinks he's heard just about everything in his two years as a school inspector, but a surprising enquiry from an angelic six-year-old reminds him never to take children for granted. This year Gervase has lots of important things on his mind - his impending marriage to Christine Bentley (the prettiest headteacher for miles around), finding somewhere idyllic to live in the Yorkshire Dales, and the chance of a promotion.All of which generate their fair share of excitement, aided and abetted as usual by his colleagues in the office.Funny, uplifting and joyful, Head over Heels in the Dales is the third in Gervase Phinn's much-loved series.______'Gervase Phinn's memoirs have made him a hero in school staff-rooms' Daily Telegraph'A natural storyteller' Yorkshire PostHe Who Dares
By Derek 'Del Trotter. 2015
Jack-the-lad, wheeler-dealer and international playboy (just ask the manageress of El Sid's, Torremolinos, 1978), this was a man destined for…
greatness. One day he would mature into an award-winning man of business*, thriving entrepreneur and glittering member of the jet-set. A force of nature, a man who beat the odds, if only for a bit. This is his story. The story of Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter. Who else could tell the glorious tale of rags to riches to rags to rich(ish) but the man himself? You've heard of The Wolf of Wall Street, now meet the Pug of Peckham.*Trotter's Independent Traders, employee of the year 1982 - 2003[He Who Dares has been written by the family of John Sullivan, creator and writer of Only Fools and Horses, who sadly died in 2011. Ebury Press have produced and published the book with full support and involvement of the family.]Have I Got News For You: Guide to Modern Britain
By Nick Martin. 1995
Did you know that foreigners who want to live in Britain have to pass a government test to get in?…
It's true, and some of the questions are harder than "Why does everyone hate Manchester United?"So the Have I Got News For You team have, in a moving and totally out of character display of public-spiritedness, compiled this Guide to Modern Britain to help guide you around, er, modern Britain. With reassuringly jaundiced reflections on everything from the global recession, religion and the Royal Family to the NHS, education and the media, it's a handy primer to the British Constitution, even though we don't actually have one. (How clever is that?) Think of it as the sort of manual you get with a car - enough information to help you check the oil, though not enough to re-balance the steering.Packed with useless facts and unhelpful cynicism, the Have I Got News for You Guide to Modern Britain will help you understand exactly how the most ingenious, resilient, resourceful and proudest people on earth became the Twittering, touchy-feely, fame-obsessed, flu-fearing wimps that they are today.Giles's War
By Tim Benson. 2017
Few contemporaries captured Britain’s indomitable wartime spirit as well or as wittily as the cartoonist Carl Giles. Now, for the…
first time, the very best of the cartoons he produced between 1939 and 1945 are brought together, including many that have not seen the light of day in over 75 years.As a young cartoonist at Reynold’s News and then the Daily Express, Giles's work provided a crucial morale boost – and much-needed laughs – to a population suffering daily privations and danger, and Giles's War shows why. Here are his often hilarious takes on the great events of the war – from the Fall of France, via D-Day, to the final Allied victory – but also his wryly amusing depictions of ordinary people in extraordinary times, living in bombed-out streets, dealing with food shortages, coping with blackouts, railing against bureaucracy and everyday annoyances. It's a brilliantly funny chronicle of our nation’s finest hour, as well as a fitting tribute to one of our greatest cartoonists.The Ha Ha Bonk Book
By Janet Ahlberg. 1982
Laughter guaranteed with The Ha Ha Bonk Book by Janet and Allan Ahlberg - jam-packed with brilliant jokes to tell…
your dad, your mum, your baby brother, your teacher and anybody else you can think of, such as: What goes ha ha bonk? A man laughing his head off.andWhat goes 99 bonk? A centipede with a wooden legandWhat goes putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt?A bad golferand lots more besides!This is an all-time classic favourite joke book for all the family to enjoy.Allan Ahlberg - a former teacher, postman, plumber's mate and gravedigger - is in the super-league of children's writers with sales exceeding 17 million and library borrowings of 13 million. In collaboration with his late wife, Janet, he has published many enduring titles, among them Each Peach Pear Plum, Peepo!, Burglar Bill and The Jolly Postman. In addition he has written novels, collections of stories, sets of easy-readers and joke books.Glutton: The Multi-Course Life of a Very Greedy Boy
By Ed Gamble. 2023
‘This book made me laugh and then order an unholy amount of takeaway.’ GREG DAVIES‘One of my favourite comics has…
now written an annoyingly great book.’ ROMESH RANGANATHAN‘Full of belly laughs and full bellies, this book is warm, honest and wonderfully entertaining.’ TOM KERRIDGE'One of the funniest comedians in the world, Ed is only serious about one thing - dinners.'NISH KUMAR---The hilarious memoir from comedian, Off Menu host and Great British Menu judge, Ed Gamble.From a young age, Ed Gamble's immaculate bibs and extremely dirty nappies hinted at his capacious appetite. Before he could walk, Ed already knew that he preferred poached salmon to puree, that celery was a calorie-sapping waste of time, and that mashed potatoes should be made with lashings of butter.Whilst he might ordinarily have been upset by the calls of 'precocious little sh*t' coming from his family, he was too busy stuffing his gob and staging rebellions against the patronising list of misery that is a children's menu.In Glutton, Ed shares a relatable buffet of experiences and stories from a life lived through food. From the trials of being a diabetic with a sweet tooth to his teenage battles with obesity, to the joy of cooking and the power of food to bring us together, this is a wonderful, hilarious and heart-warming memoir of a delightful obsession.Grumpy Old Women
By Judith Holder. 2005
We all know what it means these days to be a grumpy old man, because part of that role is…
to be outspoken. Well, we've heard just about enough out of the men, thank you very much! Grumpy Old Women gives us the other perspective: the female take on the million irritations of today's world. So whats the difference? Surely what is irritating to the mature members of one sex is equally annoying to the other? Not necessarily, and this is precisely what Grumpy Old Women seeks to address. Body image, visitors, children, animals, shopping, careers, parties, holidays and, yes, grumpy old men themselves all are very much on the list of what today's mature woman finds a source of concern. From the series producer and stand-up comic Judith Holder, the book incorporates material from the television series Grumpy Old Women, which features a diverse, colourful and very grumpy group of celebrities, including Janet Street Porter, Jenny Eclair, Ann Widdecombe, Germaine Greer, Kathryn Flett and Jilly Cooper. Written with wit, style and sympathy, the book is a source of both amusement and comfort to women everywhere - grumpy, old or otherwise.Get in the Sea!: An Apoplectic Guide to Modern Life
By Andy Dawson. 2016
The Sea - cold, wet, and unforgiving. The perfect place to dump shit products, moronic people, and crap pop culture.…
Man buns? Get in the sea.Glitter beards? In you go. Cereal cafes? SEA. And how about manspreading, ant gin, water sommeliers, real people playing Quidditch, dating apps, Bluetooth gloves, and Shoreditch? Then there's waterproof suits, juicing, early Christmas, dog yoga, Nando's, drones, and Gregg Wallace? Fuck. It's never ending. Something must be done. Buy this book. Or you know what you can do. . .Get Divorced, Be Happy: How becoming single turned out to be my happily ever after
By Helen Thorn. 2021
THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER'Helen is the woman I want in my life when the shit hits the fan' - Bryony…
GordonWhat do you do when your relationship suddenly ends? How do you cope when the cosy 'coupley' future you had planned disappears?Join comedian Helen Thorn from The Scummy Mummies as she haphazardly takes the plunge into single life for the first time in twenty-two years. Helen shares her own roller coaster journey from the initial shock of a surprise separation, the messy months hanging out in her PJs through to the highs of rediscovering online dating, tiny pants, rock-solid female friendships and the glorious joy of just being by herself.With the help of relationship experts and an army of women "who know", Get Divorced, Be Happy will show you that going it alone isn't the end, it is just the beginning, and you will come out the other side, stronger, happier and goddamn sassier than ever before.Grumpy Old Men: The Secret Diary
By Stuart Prebble. 2005
To everything there is a season. A time to be born, a time to die ... and a time to…
have a bloody good moan. Following the huge success of Grumpy Old Men, Stuart Prebble, writer of the highly acclaimed TV series, gives us a more in-depth look at what it's really like to be a pissed-off man of a certain age. In painstaking detail, he takes us through a year in the constantly irritated life of a Grumpy Old Man, recounting the manifold vexations and absurdities he has to put up with in the perpetual torment that we call modern living. Drinks parties, holidays, hospital visits, his children's misdemeanours, buying presents for the wife, watching television, attempts to visit the gym, trips to the shops, the trials and tribulations of everyday life - each event has something to tip him over the edge. Stuart's diary proves that grumpiness is not just an occasional mood or a temporary feeling, but a way of looking at the world, and will strike a chord with all those who are proud to call themselves Grumpy Old Men.Grumpy Old Men: The Official Handbook
By Stuart Prebble. 2004
Do you know someone who is incensed by compulsory tipping? Who is infuriated if kept on hold for more than…
a minute? Who is positively apoplectic if someone answers their phone during dinner? If so, youve probably encountered the phenomenon of the grumpy old man. Following their first massively successful BBC1 series, this autumn will see the grumpy old men will return to our screens, and this time theyre grumpier than ever. Packed with funny and informative chapters such as Who are we, What are we grumpy about and How can you spot the signs of grumpiness coming on, this book will leave even the grumpiest of men with a grin on his face.Does your mother think it's really charming to talk to every rose bush on the street? Has your father taken…
up obsessive fundraising for a donkey sanctuary on retirement? Does he collect elastic bands because 'you never know when you'll need one'? Do your parents make jokes about sheltered housing? Have they guessed that you've already sent off for the brochures? Do they seem to be having too much fun for a couple with two fake hips, a pacemaker and three steel pins between them? Then you need Rohan Candappa. The man who bought you The Little Book of Stress, The Little Book of Wrong Shui and The Autobiography of a One Year Old has hit the nail on the head once more. Full of wit and wisdom, Rohan will give you a much needed laugh in the face of your parents' increasingly barmy behaviour. Just one thing, you'll probably find your parents have bought it too. And they'll probably think its really funny.The Greeks Had a Word For It: Words You Never Knew You Can't Do Without
By Andrew Taylor. 2015
Do you ever search in vain for exactly the right word? Perhaps you want to articulate the vague desire to…
be far away. Or you can’t quite convey that odd urge to go outside and check to see if anyone is coming. Maybe you’re struggling to express there being just the right amount of something – not too much, but not too little. While the English may not have a word for it, the good news is that the Greeks, the Norwegians, the Dutch or possibly the Inuits probably do. Whether it’s the Norwegian forelsket (that feeling of euphoria at the start of a love affair) or the Indonesian jayus (a joke so poorly told and so unfunny that you can’t help but laugh), this delightful smörgåsbord of wonderful words from around the world will come to the rescue when the English language fails. Part glossary, part amusing musings, but wholly enlightening and entertaining, The Greeks Had a Word For It means you’ll never again be lost for just the right word.The Great Book of Mobile Talk: You Like Mashed Potato, Don’t you?
By Andrew Barrow. 2013
Overheard mobile pronouncements are a modern phenomenon. In the street, in the park, in supermarkets, buses, waiting rooms and even,…
heaven help us, in libraries, it’s quite impossible to get away from these tasty or repellent fragments of other people’s private lives. Wherever you lurk, their outbursts of despair or irritation ring out: mega-tantrums, in-jokes, celebrity spottings, instant post-mortems, office politics, whoops of joy and anger, weather reports, devilishly dull domestic details, parental problems, health issues, holiday plans, money matters, dinner menus, ultimatums, gossip, sporting news, amorous overtures, business deals – and any number of time-wasting pleasantries.From the stunningly mundane to the shockingly direct, the sublime to the ridiculous, here is a brilliantly curated collection of overheard mobile conversational gems.The Great Monster Joke Book
By Amanda Li. 2006
What sort of jokes do werewolves like best?Howlers!What's worse than being surrounded by huge great scary monsters? Being surrounded by…
AWFUL JOKES ABOUT MONSTERS! Think you can stomach hundreds of and ghastly gags? These monster gags will have you screaming for more! From gnarly knock knocks to gruesome groaners, you'll find everything to tickle your monster fancy.The GCHQ Puzzle Book II
By Gchq. 2018
Train your brain with these fiendishly difficult puzzles, the perfect companion for anyone wanting to keep their mind busy'Fiendishly tricky'…
Daily MailWith their first bestselling book, The GCHQ Puzzle Book, the UK's intelligence and security experts tested us with puzzles, codes and real-life entrance tests from their archives.Now, they are back with a NEW collection of head-scratching, mind-boggling and brain-bending puzzles that will leave you pondering for hours.For those who often found themselves stumped with the first book, The GCHQ Puzzle Book 2 offers even more starter puzzles to get those brains warmed up. Puzzle aficionados needn't worry though, as there is also an 'Even Harder' section to test everyone to their limits . . .Not only that, but in celebration of GCHQ's centenary, the puzzles in this new book sit alongside stories, facts and photos from the organisation's first 100 years at the heart of the nation's security. From the Government Code & Cipher School, to Bletchley Park, through to protecting against cyberattacks, the security of our country is in the hands of GCHQ. With this book, you get exclusive snapshots into the organisation that keeps us all safe.Train your brain to compete with the smartest in the country with this stimulating book of puzzles. If you haven't yet tested yourself with the first instalment of The GCHQ Puzzle Book, check it out now!'This is the perfect gift to fuel his ludicrous presumption that he could have definitely been a spy - even better if he's already dog-eared the first version' Huffington Post