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Barguments
By Doug Hanks. 2008
If you could marry into any family, which would you choose? Who talks about sex more: men or women? Is…
it harder to be a pitcher or a running back? Name the best television theme song of all time. Who would win in a war: Texas or California? These are just a few of the entertaining, provocative, endlessly debate-worthy questions in Barguments. Spanning the full spectrum of life's crucial topics -- sports, television, food, music, sex, and, of course, drink -- Barguments is the perfect addition to anywhere friends, colleagues, or strangers gather with a little time and plenty of opinions to share.Stefanie Wilder-Taylor has never been one to take the easy, conventional route. In her latest work It’s Not Me, It’s…
You, she unabashedly showcases a life well lived, ignoring all wisdom, but yet somehow, coming out on top. Combining her trademark biting wit and straightforward common sense, the anticipated comedic memoir delivers outrageous tales from all periods of her life and family history. From Taylor’s outlook on working hard (audition for a game show instead) to getting her husband to propose (forget The Rules: try nagging and physical violence) these stories venture beyond daycare, sure to entertain both parents and non-parents alike. Covering a wide range of topics that explore the anxiety, frustration, and exhaustion that accompany the rewarding, comical, awe-inspiring, and life-altering roles of parent, teenager, wife, and daughter, It’s Not Me, It’s You offers readers an escape, empathy, and plenty of laughs.States of Confusion: My 19,000-Mile Detour to Find Direction
By Paul Jury. 2011
Rather than deal with the problems he was facing as a recent college grad, Paul Jury decided to leave them…
in his rearview mirror. He might not have known the direction his life was headed, but he knew the route he was taking to hit all forty-eight contiguous states on one epic road trip.Filled with plenty of adventure and the unforeseen obstacle (or twelve), States of Confusion puts you in shotgun to see where the road takes Paul. All he knows--after crashing on the beer-soaked couch of his younger brother's frat--is that there's no going back.The Handjob Handbook: A Work of Non-Friction
By Marsha Normandy, Joseph St. James. 2008
With a little practice and a lot of passion, sexual power is easily within your grasp In the sport of…
love, there are times when only an hj will do. It's fun. It's practical. It's quick. But let's face it: the handjob is the lowly stepsister to the far more glamorous blowjob. The authors of The Handjob Handbook think that's unfair. If a handjob's worth doing, it's worth doing well, and this helpful, humorous guide, complete with twenty-five sure-to-please techniques, will show you how... The Basic - The Flatterer - The Jiffy Pop - Ants Climbing Up a Hill - Headless Horseman - The James Bond - Squeeze Play - E-Z- Pass - The OK Handjob - The Girl Scout - The PlayStation - The Twist Off - Climbing the Rope - The Upstroke - Tainted Love - Taint Misbehavin' - The TKO - The Frozen Rope - The Handoff - Kneading Dough - Candy Cane - Merry Christmas - The Metronome - Taffy Pull - The Italian Job Witty, empowering, and playfully erotic, it delivers useful advice in a fun and creative format. The eyes may be the window to the soul, but the hands are the key to a gift that keeps on giving.Collected folktales, lullabies, poems, sayings, and dichos from well-known and beloved Latin figures, both past and present—from actor Edward James…
Olmos and author Isabel Allende to Nobel laureate Octavio Paz and Saint Teresa de Avila.Do you wish you could remember all the words to the childhood songs your grandmother taught you, so you could sing them to your children? Have you ever found yourself repeating the dichos, or proverbs, your parents used to lecture you with? If you are looking for a way to get back in touch with your culture, It's All in the Frijoles is the perfect start. A treasure trove of cherished folktales, lullabies, poems, and dichos, this rich collection of Latino wisdom includes inspiring recollections and anecdotes by well-known and beloved figures, both past and present -- from actor Edward James Olmos and author Isabel Allende to Nobel laureate Octavio Paz and Saint Teresa de Avila. It's All in the Frijoles is certain to evoke with fondness many a childhood memory of essential teachings learned from parents and grandparents, including: El hombre debe ser feo, fuerte, y formal. A man should be homely, hardy, and honorable. El consejo de la mujer es poco y él que no lo agarra es loco. The advice of a woman is very scarce and the person who does not heed it is crazy. Pueblo dividido, pueblo vencido. A people divided, a people conquered.It's All in the Frijoles captures and perpetuates the essence of Latino tradition and is destined to become a family treasure that is passed down from generation to generation. This legacy of wisdom provides food for thought not only for Latinos but also for people of all other ethnic backgrounds.From Bush to Bush: The Lazlo Toth Letters
By Don Novello. 2003
The passionate correspondence of a proud (if concerned) American!From the reign of Bush the First through the hilarious Clinton Years…
and to the restoration of the Bush Dynasty with Dubya, one lone crusader, Lazlo Toth, has been at work dispensing advice, offering ideas, and launching investigations on your behalf. Now this important effort has been collected and presented for instruction to the ages.Dude, You're Getting Married!: How to Get (Both of You) Through the Big Day
By John Pfeiffer. 2013
Everything you need to know before your her big day!From one dude to another, the advice in Dude, You're Getting…
Married! will get you laughing and help you get your s**t together before the big day. From feigning interest in table linens to trimming down the guest list (without uninviting everyone on your side) to organizing a wild, yet fiancee-approved, bachelor party, Pfeiffer makes sure you won't get scarred in the minefield of wedding planning. While the months leading up to the big day can be filled with meltdowns and screaming matches, Dude, You're Getting Married! will be there to ensure that you make it to the altar in one piece.Violence. Speed. Momentum.
By DrDisrespect. 2021
Too much power. Wow. Too much energy. Wow. Too much anticipation. WOW. It&’s the nationally bestselling memoir from the biggest…
star in gaming: Dr Disrespect.Dr Disrespect is a 6-foot-8 freak of nature with a 37-inch vertical, the two-time, back-to-back 1993–94 Blockbuster Video Game Champion, and in his factual opinion, the most dominant international gaming superstar in the history of the world.It was just a matter of time before Western civilization came begging Doc to save literature by writing a memoir that reads like a vicious, muscular lion clawing his way through the rocks, roaring in anger and dominance. Here you will find his deepest, most intimate secrets. The untold history of his mysterious, legendary origins and his rise to unparalleled dominance. And most of all, you will find out what, exactly, Doc&’s a doctor of. Are you ready for a book with the rhythm of a sleazy &’70s muscleman and the ruthlessness of a &’90s serial killer? A journey that stares down the long, dark alley of your fears and never looks back? Does your warrior&’s heart yearn to reach the tippity top of the mountain just to realize you&’re still only halfway up? If so, firm handshakes, Champion: Welcome to the salvation of literature.No Wonder My Parents Drank: Tales from a Stand-Up Dad
By Jay Mohr. 2010
YOU’LL NEVER SLEEP IN THIS TOWN AGAINFrom Saturday Night Live to stand-up, from a blockbuster film career to the star…
of CBS’s hit television show Gary Unmarried, Jay Mohr is one of the funniest people in comedy today. Now, in this down and dirty tale of modern fatherhood, Mohr shares his stories as a first-time parent. No Wonder My Parents Drank reveals the details behind Mohr’s humiliating test-tube conception attempts and then recounts the trauma of not only having to keep this child alive, but having to spend time alone with him! He waxes poetic about dirty diapers; spins theories on spanking; and mulls over the more hidden advantages of parenthood, like carpool lane access, carte blanche to use the ladies restroom, and an alibi for missing family dinners. Mohr describes, in painfully funny detail, the bizarre situations that all parents inevitably face but can never prepare for (such as when his kid discovered his dog’s rear end) as well as moments of pure joy like taking his son to his first baseball game. Mohr reports on the hilarious wisdom that his son, Jackson, has taught him—like why it’s fun to play "Kissy Boy" with the other boys at recess, how important sunscreen is for avoiding a "sunborn," and how awesome it is to get a "rainbow belt" in karate.Riotously acerbic and refreshingly honest, No Wonder My Parents Drank casts the very funny Jay Mohr with an even funnier mini-me sidekick as a supporting character in a little comedic love story that every person who either is a parent or has a parent will find delightful.I Don't Have a Happy Place: Cheerful Stories of Despondency and Gloom
By Kim Korson. 2015
When a trip to the therapist ends with the question “Can’t Kim be happy?” Kim Korson responds the way any…
normal person would—she makes fun of it. Because really, does everyone have to be happy?Aside from her father wearing makeup and her mother not feeling well (a lot), Kim Korson’s 1970s suburban upbringing was typical. Sometimes she wished her brother were an arsonist just so she’d have a valid excuse to be unhappy. And when life moves along pretty decently--she breaks into show business, gets engaged in the secluded jungles of Mexico, and moves her family from Brooklyn to dreamy rural Vermont—the real despondency sets in. It’s a skill to find something wrong in just about every situation, but Kim has an exquisite talent for negativity. It is only after half a lifetime of finding kernels of unhappiness where others find joy that she begins to wonder if she is even capable of experiencing happiness.In I Don’t Have a Happy Place, Kim Korson untangles what it means to be a true malcontent. Rife with evocative and nostalgic observations, unapologetic realism, and razor-sharp wit, I Don’t Have a Happy Place is told in humorous, autobiographical stories. This fresh-yet-dark voice is sure to make you laugh, nod your head in recognition, and ultimately understand what it truly means to be unhappy. Always.The Making of a Stand-Up Guy
By Charlie Murphy, Chris Millis. 2009
As one of the most popular performers on Comedy Central’s mega-hit The Chappelle Show, Charlie Murphy—older brother of comedy legend…
Eddie Murphy—shares his passion for comedy and tells his true Hollywood stories in this juicy and highly entertaining memoir.Once described by Chris Rock as “Eddie Murphy on acid,” Charlie Murphy has achieved fame as a recurring performer on the critically acclaimed, three-time Emmy-nominated cult sensation Chappelle’s Show on Comedy Central. Celebrated in particular for his “Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories” skits, featuring hilarious renditions of Rick James and Prince, Murphy now recounts many of the actual stories that inspired these popular sketches in vivid and comical detail in Doing Time: The Making of a Stand-Up Guy. With his flare for storytelling and his distinctive and fearless voice, it’s no wonder that Charlie Murphy has been the subject of many featured stories in numerous magazines, including GQ, Essence, Rolling Stone, and he was recently listed as one of the Hottest People to Watch in Entertainment Weekly’s “Must List.” Featuring outrageous misadventures as part of his younger brother Eddie’s entourage, and hysterical encounters with numerous celebrities, Doing Time: The Making of a Stand-Up Guy is a fascinating and wildly funny chronicle from one of the most talented comedians today.Have you heard the one about...You'll laugh yourself silly with The Everything Big Book of Jokes! Inside this sidesplitting collection,…
you'll find only the most popular kinds of jokes, riddles, and funnies from a dynamic professional comedian, including:Short jokes, one-liners, and punsJokes about spouses, in-laws, kids, and grandparentsOffice and sports jokesAnimal humorClassics, including "Guy walks into a bar..." blonde jokes, priest and rabbi jokes, even knock-knock jokes Filled with countless gags, giggles, and guffaws, this book is sure to tickle your funny bone--and make you the life of the party!The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said
By Robert Byrne. 1982
Drawing from diverse personages from Goethe to Churchill to Woody Allen, The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said is a…
witty wise quotation collection that deserves a special place on every humor lover's bookshelf. These unique, funny, and outrageous quotations, previously published in four separate volumes, are now gathered together in a seemingly limitless trove of pithy and often irreverent one-liners, retorts, put-downs, jokes, and last words that cover every conceivable subject and will appeal to every taste. Highlights include:—W. C. Fields: "Start every day with a smile and get it over with." —George Burns:&” "Happiness is having a large loving family in another city."And many more.The Best Joke Book: Hundreds of the Funniest, Silliest, Most Ridiculous Jokes Ever
By William Donohue. 2014
Discover hundreds of jokes for every occasion!Why was the limbo dancer shocked when his wallet was stolen right out of…
his back pocket? Because he didn't think anyone could stoop so low.The ultimate collection of the world&’s greatest funnies, The Best Joke Book (Period) keeps you laughing for hours on end. Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment.So whether you&’re looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!Mortified: Real Words. Real People. Real Pathetic
By David Nadelberg. 2006
Share the shame. In the days before blogs, teenagers recorded their lives with a pen in top-secret notebooks, usually emblazoned…
with an earnest, underlined plea to parents to keep away. Since 2002, David Nadelberg has tapped that vast wellspring of adolescent anguish in the stage show Mortified, in which grown men and women confront their past with firsthand tales of their first kiss, first puff, worst prom, fights with mom, life at bible camp, worst hand job, best mall job, and reasons they deserved to marry Simon LeBon. Following the same formula that has made the live show a beloved cult hit, Mortified the book takes real childhood journals and documents and edits the entries into captivating, comedic, and cathartic stories, introduced by their now older (and allegedly wiser) authors. From letters begging rescue from a hellish summer camp to catty locker notes about stuck-up classmates to obsessive love that borders on stalking, Mortified gives voice to the real -- and really pathetic -- hopes, fears, desires, and creative urgings that have united adolescents for generations.George W. Bushisms: The Slate Book of the Accidental Wit and Wisdom of Our 43rd President
By Jacob Weisberg. 2001
"They misunderestimated me." Or did they? Judge for yourself. Here are over 100 memorable misstatements by our syntactically challenged president,…
collected, annotated, and introduced by Slate magazine's Jacob Weisberg. "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." "We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers." "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." "I do know I'm ready for the job [the presidency]. And if not, that's just the way it goes."My Beautiful Despair: The Philosophy of Kim Kierkegaardashian
By Kim Kierkegaardashian. 2018
&“Reflective maxims on life, death, sin, and emptiness, salted with luxury accessories of the Kardashian lifestyle...@KimKierkegaard is dross turned gold,…
redemption through absurdity in a hundred and forty characters.&” –The New YorkerIn &“the ultimate meeting of the sublime with the ridiculous&” (London Evening Standard) My Beautiful Despair blends the existential philosophy of Søren Kierkegaard with the superficial musings of Kim Kardashian West, based on the popular Twitter feed @KimKierkegaard. Kierkegaardashian shares thoughts on fashion, beauty, brunch, and the relentless waves of existential dread that wash over us day after day.A sample of the revelations include:– I have majorly fallen off my workout-eating plan! AND it's summer. But to despair over sin is to sink deeper into it. – Obsessed with protecting your skin, lips, hair & face from the sun? Close the cover of the coffin tight, really tight, and be at peace. – I like my men like I like my coffee: a momentary comfort in the midst of all my suffering. – What is the operation by which a self relates itself to its own self, transparently? Selfie. – What if everything in life were a misunderstanding, what if laughter were really tears? Scared LOL!! – I&’ve been going to bed a little bit earlier each night, to get a taste of death. In an age where the line between news and entertainment is blurrier than ever before, and the difference between a celebrity and the leader of the free world is nil, Kierkegaardashian&’s insights perfectly reflect our absurd, hilarious, and deeply disturbing new era. @KimKierkegaard has been admired, praised, and adored in The New Yorker, The Washington Post, The New York Times, Financial Times, The Economist, New York, Buzzfeed, and more, and has amassed nearly a quarter of a million Twitter followers, including J.K. Rowling and Anna Kendrick. Now in a humorous, illustrated gift book, perfectly suited for our existential times, Kierkegaardashian&’s philosophical insights are juxtaposed for the first time with Dash Shaw&’s brilliant black-and-white illustrations.Blueprint for Disaster: A Get Fuzzy Collection (Get Fuzzy #5)
By Darby Conley. 2012
You have to wonder what kind of pets cartoonist Darby Conley had as a child. If they were anything like…
Bucky Katt and Satchel Pooch. . . well, life in the Conley house must have been interesting to say the least. The wacky triumvirate of Bucky, Satchel, and Rob are back in this Get Fuzzy collection,Rob Wilco is the mild-mannered ad executive caretaker of Bucky and Satchel. Satchel is a sweet and naive shar-pei-yellow-Lab cross, while Bucky is a Siamese with "cat-titude" to spare. Bucky and Satchel get along like, well, like cats and dogs. Like a beleaguered parent, Rob constantly must thwart Bucky's schemes and protect the unsuspecting Satchel. His pets' mischief continually disrupts his attempts to meet women. You try explaining to your date why your cat thinks he's a gangsta rapper and your dog is filming his "crib" for MTV. Would anyone live with humans who behaved like this?Bitingly funny with a wry sense of the absurdity of life with pets, Get Fuzzy appeals to everyone who has ever lived in a mixed-species household.In Love & Pajamas: A Collection of Comics about Being Yourself Together
By Catana Chetwynd. 2020
When you've reached that sweatpants-wearing cozy place in your relationship, it's all In Love & Pajamas! This brand-new collection of Catana Comics…
presents 50 percent never-before-seen comics and some fan favorites that delight and amuse readers of all ages. Wholesome, sweet, feel-good humor, a perfect gift for your other half and a welcome add-on to any wedding, anniversary, or Valentine's Day gift.What Was That All About?: 20 Years of Strips and Stories (Zits)
By Jerry Scott, Jim Borgman. 2017
Celebrate Zits’ twentieth anniversary with the always spot-on, sometimes chaotic, and often messy comic moments between Jeremy and his befuddled parents.Authors…
Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman have sifted through the highlights (and some lowlights!) over the life of the strip and have created a unique behind-the-scenes, insightful view into the history of Zits. They have selected their all-time favorite cartoons to fill the collection along with special features, including stories about:How they met in Sedona, Arizona, and came up with the crazy idea of creating ZitsThe teenagers in their own livesChoosing the title ZitsStrips that newspapers declined to publish, or words they censored, etc.Creating a Zits Sunday stripSucks, bites, and blows: staking out territory on the comic pageFish paste and other reasons our kids don’t want to travel with us anymoreExcerpts from their sketchbooks will also be shown.This is the book every fan of Zits has ever wanted!