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The Methodist Book of Daily Prayer
By Matt Miofsky. 2023
Daily prayer the Wesleyan wayPrayer is a spiritual practice, and daily prayer uses the repetition of forms and words to…
cultivate a deep, meaningful ritual, drawing the individual into an ever-closer relationship with God. This book is organized by liturgical season, but is undated, so the individual is free to begin using it at any point during the year. The book is concise and easy to use and includes the words of scripture and other necessary text. It is a simple, frictionless tool for spiritual health. The Methodist Book of Daily Prayer provides complete texts for Morning Prayers and Evening Prayers, with a new set of texts for each week of the year. Each week is anchored in its liturgical season: Advent, Christmastide, Epiphany, Lent, Holy Week, Eastertide, Pentecost, Sow & Rest (Ordinary Time), and Harvest & Create (Ordinary Time).Each set of prayers centers on a scripture passage, with an emphasis on the Psalms. The prayers draw from familiar historic, classic, and ancient Christian texts, and from Methodism’s rich hymnody. They also feature fresh, original words from new writers. This book facilitates deep daily connection with God--a method for spiritual sustenance.The Story of Brexit (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)
By Jason Hazeley, Joel Morris. 2018
As Brexit reaches its final stretch, find a way to laugh through the pain and or celebrate the end with…
Ladybird's hilarious and essential guide, The Story of Brexit.'Hilarious' STYLIST________'"Leaving was the will of the people" sighs Angelica's father. He voted to leave.Angelica voted to remain, but she feels the same way. "It is the will of the people," she sighs.They stare at the ducks. They like the ducks. Ducks are better than people.'________'Brexit gave us lots of exciting new words, like brextremist, remoaner, bremoaner, remaybe, breprehensible, remaintenance, brexorcist, remaidstone, brex-girlfriend, remange, brextortion, remayhem and bregret.The new words make it harder for foreigners to understand what we are saying.In a tough, new international business world, small advantages such as this can be crucial.'________This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them.The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.'The latest offering in the hilarious Ladybird for Grown Ups series is a funny mickey-take of the Brexit debate (and boy, do we need some fun)' Sunday PostStockwin's Maritime Miscellany: A Ditty Bag of Wonders from the Golden Age of Sail
By Julian Stockwin. 2009
Lt Cdr Julian Stockwin shares his love and knowledge of the sea in this entertaining collection of maritime stories and…
little-known trivia. Featuring nautical facts and feats, including superstitions at sea, the history of animals on the waves - until 1975 when all animals were banned from Royal Navy ships - and how the inventor of the umbrella helped man the British Navy, it is packed with informative tales. Focusing on the glory days of tall ships he explores marine myths and unearths the truth behind commonly held beliefs about the sea, such as whether Lord Nelson's body was really pickled in rum to transport it back to England after his death at Trafalgar. Interspersed throughout are salty sayings showing the modern words and phrases that originate from the mariners of old - 'cut of his jib', 'high and dry', 'the coast is clear', 'first rate' and 'slush fund'. Accompanied by nostalgic black and white line drawings Stockwin's Maritime Miscellany is a charming giftbook guaranteed to appeal to the sailing enthusiast, but also amuse and inform even the staunchest landlubber.Still Standing: The Savage Years
By Paul O'Grady. 2012
THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER'Funny, forthright and sharp as a knife . . . O'Grady writes just as he speaks.' Daily…
MirrorLilian Maeve Veronica Savage, international sex kitten, was born on the steps of The Legs of Man public house, Lime Street, Liverpool on a policeman's overcoat. Her mother, the lady wrestler Hell Cat Savage, had no such luxuries as gas and air. She just bit down on the policeman's torch and recovered afterwards at the bar with a large pale ale...Paul O'Grady shot to fame via his brilliant comic creation, the blonde bombsite Lily Savage. In the first two parts of his bestselling and critically acclaimed autobiography, Paul took us through his childhood in Birkenhead to his first, teetering steps on stage. Now, in Still Standing, for the first time, he brings us the no-holds-barred true story of Lily and the rocky road to stardom...Paul pulls no punches in this tale of bar room brawls, drunken escapades and liaisons dangereuses. And that's just backstage at the Panto... Along the way, we stop off at some extremely dodgy pubs and clubs, and meet a collection of exotic characters who made the world a louder, brighter and more hilarious place. From the chaos of the Toxteth riots and the Vauxhall Tavern police raid, to the mystery of who shot Skippy and the great chip pan fire of Victoria Mansions, Paul emerges shaken but not stirred.Still Standing will make you laugh and make you cry. Some of the stories might even make your hair curl. But it stands as a glorious tribute to absent friends and to a world which has now all but vanished.Readers love Still Standing:'Paul makes you feel like he's chatting to you as a friend. The stories are bold, honest, sometimes hilarious, sometimes very sad.' *****'This had my crying, nervous and laughing out loud. I would expect nothing less from the fabulously honest Paul O'Grady.' *****'He writes as he speaks, entirely from the heart . . . with his usual warmth, care, concern and honesty, a brilliant read.' *****Still Lost in Translation: More misadventures in English abroad
By Charlie Croker. 2007
Have you ever arrived in a hotel room and been baffled by the information provided? Beware of your luggage.In your…
room you will find a minibar which is filled with alcoholics. Do not throw urine around.Have you ever been to a restaurant and wondered what on earth to order?Bored Meat StewLorry Driver SoupKiss LorraineHave you ever arrived in an airport and found that the supposedly helpful signs just make you feel more lost?You are required to declare all sorts of private things.Departure. Bus stop. Car rectal.Please buy your ticket consciously.Charlie Croker has, and in 2006 he gathered together what he thought was the definitive collection of English language howlers for his bestselling book Lost in Translation. But he reckoned without the great British public. Not only was the book a smash hit, it also opened the floodgates to a deluge of emails and letters stuffed full of further mistranslations and mutilated phrases. From a leaflet from the Museum of Rasputin in Russia (which is apparently situated in a house that belonged a pilot fish Zubov) to a song title on a pirated Pink Floyd CD (Come Fartably Numb), the scrambled sentences just kept flooding in. At the same time Charlie has continued his travels and picked up gems of his own. With such a wealth of material, a sequel wasn't just a necessity, it was a public service, and Still Lost in Translation is even more addictive, whimsical and side-splittingly hilarious than the first book.The Stig: The Untold Story
By Simon Du Beaumarche. 2012
Who is The Stig? Where did he come from? Why does he never speak?To answer these questions, award-winning biographer Simon…
du Beaumarche spent a year chasing The Stig and talking to those closest to him, including Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May and leading figures from Formula 1, music, movies and the military.What he discovered is an explosive story of intrigue, influence and a sensational conspiracy that seeks to hide the truth about one of the 21st century’s greatest icons.Get behind the visor of the man, the myth, the driver, the legend, THE STIG.This book contains adult humour and some themes that may be unsuitable for children.Star Roars
By John Byrne. 2002
What are red, wobbly and protect the universe? The Jelli Knights. Launch into this star collection of galactic giggles from…
a galaxy far, far away. You'll laugh out loud at hilarious alien antics, silly spacemen stories and all the mayhem and madness that goes on just beyond the Milky Way. It's out of this world!Squaddie: A Soldier's Story
By Steven McLaughlin. 2006
From the harsh realities of basic training to post-war chaos in Iraq and knife-edge tension in Northern Ireland, Squaddie takes…
us to a place not advertised in army recruitment brochures. It exposes the grim reality of everyday soldiering for the 'grunts on the ground'.After the tragic death of his brother, and in the dark days following 9/11, McLaughlin felt compelled to fulfil his lifelong ambition to serve in the army. He followed his late brother into the elite Royal Green Jackets and passed the arduous Combat Infantryman's Course at the age of 31. Thereafter, McLaughlin found himself submerged in a world of casual violence.Squaddie is a snapshot of infantry soldiering in the twenty-first century. It takes us into the heart of an ancient institution that is struggling to retain its tough traditions in a rapidly changing world. All of the fears and anxieties that the modern soldier carries as his burden are laid bare, as well as the occasional joys and triumphs that can make him feel like he is doing the best job in the world.This is an account of army life by someone who has been there and done it.Spike Milligan: Warning - Don't Eat The Fish
By Spike Milligan. 2013
Spike Milligan's letters contain some of the best material he ever wrote . . . Collected here for the first…
time are the funniest, rudest and most revealing of them - most of which have never been seen before - from one of the greatest comics of the twentieth century to some of its most famous politicians, actors, celebrities and rock stars (as well as a host of unlikely individuals on some surprising subjects):- rounded teabags ('what did you do with the corners?')- backless hospital gowns ('beyond my comprehension') - heartfelt apologies ('pardon me for being alive') and the imbalance of male and female ducks in London's parks. Here, then, is the real Spike Miligan: obsessive, rude, generous and relentlessly witty.'Milligan's zaniness shines through' Telegraph 'The godfather of alternative comedy' Eddie IzzardSpike Milligan was one of the greatest and most influential comedians of the twentieth century. Born in India in 1918, he served in the Royal Artillery during WWII in North Africa and Italy. At the end of the war, he forged a career as a jazz musician, sketch-show writer and performer, before joining forces with Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe to form the legendary Goon Show. Until his death in 2002, he had success as on stage and screen and as the author of over eighty books of fiction, memoir, poetry, plays, cartoons and children's stories.Space: A thrilling human history by Britain's beloved astronaut Tim Peake
By Tim Peake. 2020
From bestselling author and British astronaut Tim Peake, an inspirational human history of space travel, from the Apollo missions to…
our future forays to Mars. The Right Stuff for a new generation.'This book is brilliant - once in a blue moon. A book for the whole family.' Chris Evans, Virgin Radio'The most wonderful book ... Tim Peake is a historian and encyclopaedia of space.’ Rory Stewart'An extraordinary book. For anyone - even if you’re not interested in Space. If you’re interested in human stories and the human character - this is delightful.' BBC Breakfast'A fascinating, detailed, playful book drawn from extensive research – Peake met seven Apollo astronauts, Russian cosmonauts and various other space technicians – as well as his considerable personal experience. Lifts the lid on what space is like: the dedication and sacrifice; the politics and pantomime; the practicalities and the peril; the glory and fame; the adjustment back to normal life.' iPaper'A thrilling human history of space' Daily Mirror'The bible of space travel' Chris Moyles, Radio XAs seen in the major TV series Secrets of Our Universe with Tim Peake.Only 628 people in human history have left Earth. This is their story.Astronaut Tim Peake traces the lives of the remarkable men and women who have forged the way for humanity beyond Earth, from Yuri Gagarin to Neil Armstrong, from Valentina Tereshkova to Peggy Whitson.Full of fascinating insight into our greatest pioneers and unsung heroes, and astonishing detail only an astronaut would know, Peake's book is the first of its kind to chronicle the human evolution of space exploration over sixty years, from our first forays to now. In the process, Peake reveals what spaceflight is really like: the wondrous view of Earth, the surreal weightlessness, the extraordinary danger, the surprising humdrum, the unexpected humour, the new-found perspective, the years of training, the psychological pressures, the gruelling physical toll, the thrill of launch and the trepidation of re-entry.In the next few years, NASA will send the first woman and the first person of colour to step on the lunar surface. What will separate these upcoming moonwalkers from the legendary Apollo crews? Does it still take a derring-do attitude, super-human fitness, intelligence, plus 'the right stuff' - a fabled grace under pressure? And how will astronauts travel even further - to Mars and beyond?Space: The Human Story reveals all.'Space enthusiasts will snap up Peake’s compelling book in their droves, but his account of courage, camaraderie and the determination to go where few have gone before deserves to be read by a much wider audience too' – Daily ExpressSon of a Silverback: Growing Up in the Shadow of an Alpha Male
By Russell Kane. 2019
'Brilliantly written. Very funny and heartbreaking.' Davina McCallFrom one of Britain's most popular and prolific comedians comes a hilarious and…
deeply moving memoir of life lived under the rule of a Silverback dad. The Silverback is considered the undisputed king, a creature whose authority is never challenged and who does not yield to compromise. He walks proudly, feeds greedily, grafts tirelessly, mates voraciously, swears constantly and is threatened all too easily. The Silverback is known to nestle in the misty peaks of central Africa but can also be found in Barking, Essex. Meet Dave Kane, the disappointed, steroid-ingesting, metal-wielding, bouncer father of slight, effete Gamma Male, Russell Kane.SON OF A SILVERBACK is a story about fathers and sons, class and education and how one scrawny, sensitive, fake-tan-applying 'ponce' stepped out of his father's shadow and became a man - whatever that means.What readers are saying:***** 'This is so much more than a comedian's life story.'***** 'I read this book in about two days. It was gripping, funny, sad, and it felt deeply honest.'***** 'An exposing and candid exploration of Russell's family and foundations and all the better for its frankness . . . Full of laughs, poignancy and appropriate introspection.'Small Town England: And How I Survived It
By Tim Bradford. 2010
Tim Bradford is growing up in a small town in Lincolnshire in the 1970s. Market Rasen is not the most…
exciting place, but to his teenage mind it was the centre of the universe. Tim is at that in-between phase between childhood and adolescence, where you are trying to be grown up and get your first snogs whilst at the same time still playing with airfix models and making dens.Tim takes us through his first crushes, falling in love with the local beauty queen and an elusive Gallic beauty on a French exchange. His first attempts at getting drunk and trying to impress girls, forming bands which churned out endless numbers of rubbish songs and trying to avoid deckings by the local hards. Tim and his equally hapless friends are gradually working towards breaking free of their childhoods and moving away from their roots. Life in this small town was a rollercoaster of mundane happenings. Small Town paints a portrait of the energy and melancholy at the heart of our generation, the inability to live for now and the feeling that something better is just around the corner. Too young (just) to be baby boomers and too English and uncool to call itself Generation X. It's a universal tale about dreams, ambitions, brass bands, cubs, rugby songs, football stickers, tractors, young love and valve amplifiers connected up to cheap distortion pedals, set at a time of political change and pudding basin hair.Small Man in a Book
By Rob Brydon. 2011
Rob Brydon tells story of his slow ascent to fame and fortune in Small Man in a Book.A multi-award-winning actor,…
writer, comedian and presenter known for his warmth, humour and inspired impressions, Rob Brydon has quickly become one of our very favourite entertainers. But there was a time when it looked like all we'd hear of Rob was his gifted voice.Growing up in South Wales, Rob had a passion for radio and soon the Welsh airwaves resounded to his hearty burr. However, these were followed by years of misadventure and struggle, before, in the TV series Marion and Geoff and Gavin and Stacey, Rob at last tickled the nation's funny bone. The rest, as they say, is history. Or in his case autobiography.Small Man in a Book is Rob Brydon's funny, heartfelt, honest, sometimes sad, but mainly funny, memoir of how a young man from Wales very, very slowly became an overnight success.Rob Brydon was brought up in Wales, where his career began on radio and as a voiceover artist. After a brief stint working for the Home Shopping Network he co-wrote and performed in his breakthrough show, the darkly funny Human Remains. He has since starred in the immensely popular Gavin and Stacey, Steve Coogan's partner in The Trip, and was the host of Would I Lie to You? and The Rob Brydon Show. He now lives in London with his wife and five children.The Sleepover Joke Book
By Sandy Ransford. 2003
A new collection of hilarious jokes on anything and everything to do with sleepovers. Divided into sections, it features all…
the fun of sleepover visits, the food, the videos, the games, the music, the gossip, the telling of creepy late night stories, the joke telling and giggling - and of course the sleeping!Sink the Belgrano
By Mike Rossiter. 2007
On the evening of 30 March, 1982, Commander David Hall, chief engineer of the British nuclear submarine HMS Conqueror received…
a telephone call giving him the order to 'store for war'. At first he didn't believe it. In the early hours of 2 April, Argentine forces invaded the Falkland Isles.The sinking of the Belgrano was one of the most dramatic moments of the Falklands conflict. For many it signalled Britain's entry into the war and it has been seen as a politically motivated decision deliberately designed to take the country irrevocably into the fight. Now Mike Rossiter - with unprecedented access to sailors from the Belgrano and HMS Conqueror - gives us a dramatic and definitive retelling of the events that led up to the sinking.With all the pace and tension of a thriller, Sink the Belgrano takes us inside the battle for the South Atlantic and shows us the human drama behind the famous, and controversial, Sun headline 'Gotcha!' We track the collision course between the British submarine Conqueror and the Argentine warship - as the two sides and everyone aboard head towards the climactic moment just outside the exclusion zone set up by the British around the Falkland Isles. We witness the behind-the-scenes arguments , discussions and powerbroking that led to the decision to fire the three torpedoes. And, for the first time, we hear from the sailors on both sides - the personal testimony of the hunt for and attack on the Belgrano, and from the Argentine side the experience of being under attack and the sinking that left 340 members of her crew dead.The Silliest Joke Book Ever
By Anonymous. 2003
A hilariously funny book containing hundreds of jokes on every subject under the sun, as well as the favourite jokes…
of famous celebrities.All royalties will be going to the Jeans for Genes Appeal in association with Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital. The appeal funds research into genetic disorders in children. A Jeans for Genes Day is held every year when people are invited to wear their jeans for a £1 donation.The Silent Deep: The Royal Navy Submarine Service Since 1945
By James Jinks, Peter Hennessy. 2015
'The Ministry of Defence does not comment upon submarine operations' is the standard response of officialdom to enquiries about the…
most secretive and mysterious of Britain's armed forces, the Royal Navy Submarine Service. Written with unprecedented co-operation from the Service itself and privileged access to documents and personnel, The Silent Deep is the first authoritative history of the Submarine Service from the end of the Second World War to the present. It gives the most complete account yet published of the development of Britain's submarine fleet, its capabilities, its weapons, its infrastructure, its operations and above all - from the testimony of many submariners and the first-hand witness of the authors - what life is like on board for the denizens of the silent deep.Dramatic episodes are revealed for the first time: how HMS Warspite gathered intelligence against the Soviet Navy's latest ballistic-missile-carrying submarine in the late 1960s; how HMS Sovereign made what is probably the longest-ever trail of a Soviet (or Russian) submarine in 1978; how HMS Trafalgar followed an exceptionally quiet Soviet 'Victor III', probably commanded by a Captain known as 'the Prince of Darkness', in 1986. It also includes the first full account of submarine activities during the Falklands War. But it was not all victories: confrontations with Soviet submarines led to collisions, and the extent of losses to UK and NATO submarine technology from Cold War spy scandals are also made more plain here than ever before. In 1990 the Cold War ended - but not for the Submarine Service. Since June 1969, it has been the last line of national defence, with the awesome responsibility of carrying Britain's nuclear deterrent. The story from Polaris to Trident - and now 'Successor' - is a central theme of the book. In the year that it is published, Russian submarines have once again been detected off the UK's shores. As Britain comes to decide whether to renew its submarine-carried nuclear deterrent, The Silent Deep provides an essential historical perspective.Should You be Laughing at This?
By Hugleikur Dagsson. 2006
Hugleikur Dagsson is from Iceland. During the winter in Iceland there are only three hours of daylight. During the summer…
in Iceland there is no darkness. Iceland’s national drink is called ‘Black Death’. Iceland's national dish is putrefied shark meat. In Iceland this book is a cult-bestseller. The questions you should ask yourself is:Should you be laughing at this?Shipmates
By Chris Terrill. 2005
This is the tie-in book to a two part BBC 1 documentary series to be screened at 9.00pm in October…
and which will end on the bicentenary of the Battle of Trafalgar on 21st October. Chris Terrill is famous for his fly on the wall documentaries which have been watched by millions and received wide critical acclaim. We have had HMS Brilliant and The Cruise (audience reached 11 million). Chris has based himself for the last few months in the very heart of the modern day naval experience. We will see: a Royal Naval Chaplain exorcising a haunted barracks in Portsmouth, a vodka-fuelled Trafalgar Day celebration in the British Embassy in the Moscow in 2004, a Polaris submarine crossing the Atlantic on an exercise in which it will 'pretend' to nuke America, the patrol of the frigate HMS Chatham in the Gulf, suddenly diverted to Sri Lanka after the Tsunami and the Fleet Review, where HMS Chatham in honour of her humanitarian role in Asia, will lead the entire assembly of a hundred warships, British and foreign, down the Solent. Chris is the only film maker to be granted exclusive, behind the scenes access by the Navy this year. During the filming Chris will capture the heart and soul of the sailors aboard, and on shore: there will be plenty of irreverence, practical jokes and laughs, and the human reality of the families left behind for months on end as warships and submarines go on extended tours of duty. This will be the fullest ever account of the Modern Navy in a year when the Trafalgar Day celebrations and the Fleet review will attract an avalanche of publicity.Shelf Life: How I Found The Meaning of Life Stacking Supermarket Shelves
By Simon Parke. 2011
The day I was appointed Chair of the shop union was the same day the Pope was elected. There the…
similarities end, however. For while his elevation took place beneath the fine art of the Sistine Chapel, with the mysterious white smoke rising, mine took place in the cold store, with nothing more mysterious than the bacon delivery and yesterday's waste...A vicar for twenty years, Simon Parke trades in his dog collar for a job on the tills in his local supermarket. Among the vegetable aisles and dairy produce he unpacks the meaning of life with his fellow workers, a colourful bunch. Sonny the security guard hates conflict; shelf-filler Winston knows he is destined for something better; and voluptuous Faith is generous with her wares - but sadly not with Simon. You don't have to be off your trolley to work there, but it helps...From checkout charlies to banana rage, from short-changed lows to cold store highs, Shelf Life is a pick-n-mix of wit and wisdom for anyone who loves life and hopes for more - no matter where they find themselves.