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A Sackful of Limericks
By Michael Palin. 2016
If you've ever wondered what happened to the young fellow from Malta who bought his grandfather an altar…If you're concerned…
about the camper called Jack who found a huge snake in his pack…And if you suspect that an eccentric landowner called Grey spent Christmas a very strange way but aren't sure precisely what that entailed…Then a dip into Michael Palin's Sackful of Limericks will provide all the answers – and a lot of fun besides.Rules for Modern Life: A Connoisseur's Survival Guide
By Sir David Tang. 2016
Do gentlemen wear shorts? What are the rules regarding interior decor in a high-security prison? Is it ever acceptable to…
send Valentine's cards to one's pets?The twenty-first century is an age of innumerable social conundrums. Around every corner lies a potential faux pas waiting to happen. But if you've ever struggled for the right response to an unwelcome gift or floundered for conversation at the dinner party from hell, fear not: help is at hand.In Rules for Modern Life, Sir David Tang, resident agony uncle at the Financial Times, delivers a satirical masterclass in navigating the social niceties of modern life. Whether you're unsure of the etiquette of doggy bags or wondering whether a massage room in your second home would be de trop, Sir David has the answer to all your social anxieties - and much more besides.Round the Bend
By Jeremy Clarkson. 2011
Jeremy Clarkson gets REALLY riled up in Round the BendWhat's it like to drive a car that's actively trying to…
kill you?This and many other burning questions trouble Jeremy Clarkson as he sets out to explore the world from the safety of four wheels. Avoiding the legions of power-crazed traffic wombles attempting to block highway and byway, he he:- Shows how the world of performance cars may be likened to Battersea Dogs Home- Reveals why St Moritz may be the most bonkers town in all of the world- Reminds us that Switzerland is so afraid of snow that any flakes falling on the road are immediately arrested- Argues that washing a car is a waste of timeFunny, globe-trotting, irreverent and sometimes downright rude, Round the Bend is packed with curious and fascinating but otherwise hopelessly useless stories and facts about everything under the sun (and just occasionally cars). It's Jeremy Clarkson at his brilliant best.Praise for Jeremy Clarkson'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening StandardRoot Around Britain
By Will Donaldson. 1993
Conveniently arranged in alphabetical order, from Abstractions (you'll find them on the Continent, of course') to Weather, Root Around Britain…
tells the story of a quest. A quest for the essence of Englishness; a quest for a new television series which Mr Root can sell to the fat man in Birmingham; a quest for a peerage and the right way to pay for it ('old money' or 'new money'?); and, finally, a quest for the means to humiliate a nosy neighbour. What could be more English than that?'Rommel?' 'Gunner Who?': A Confrontation in the Desert (Spike Milligan War Memoirs)
By Spike Milligan. 1974
VOLUME TWO OF SPIKE MILLIGAN'S LEGENDARY MEMOIRS IS A HILARIOUS, SUBVERSIVE FIRST-HAND ACCOUNT OF WW2'Brilliant verbal pyrotechnics, throwaway lines and…
marvelous anecdotes' Daily Mail 'Desperately funny, vivid, vulgar' Sunday Times ______________'Keep talking, Milligan. I think I can get you out on Mental Grounds.' 'That's how I got in, sir.' 'Didn't we all.' The second volume of Spike Milligan's legendary recollections of life as a gunner in World War Two sees our hero into battle in North Africa - eventually. First, there is important preparation to be done: extensive periods of loitering ('We had been standing by vehicles for an hour and nothing had happened, but it happened frequently'), psychological toughening ('If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it') and living dangerously ('no underwear!'). At last the battle for Tunis is upon them . . .______________'The most irreverent, hilarious book about the war that I have ever read' Sunday Express 'Milligan is the Great God to all of us' John Cleese 'The Godfather of Alternative Comedy' Eddie Izzard 'A totally original comedy writer' Michael Palin 'Close in stature to Lewis Carroll and Edward Lear in his command of the profound art of nonsense' GuardianRoad to the Dales: The Story of a Yorkshire Lad
By Gervase Phinn. 2011
A unique look into the childhood experiences of Gervase Phinn in Road to the Dales.Gervase tells of a life full…
of happiness, conversation, music and books shared with his three siblings, mother and father. This book is a snapshot of growing up in Yorkshire in the 1950s - reminisce with Gervase, and share in his personal journey - of school days and holidays as well as his tentative steps into the adult world. Devour numerous uproarious stories including the incident involving a broken greenhouse, crashing his brother's newly restored bike as well as secrets about his first dates, adventures at summer camp, family trips to Blackpool and many other captivating tales.With a wicked ear for the comical, and a sharp eye for detail, Road to the Dales visits poignant moments, significant events and precious memories from a boy called Gervase Phinn.Gervase Phinn is an author and educator from Rotherham who, after teaching for fourteen years in a variety of schools, moved to North Yorkshire to be a school inspector. He has written autobiographies, novels, plays, collections of poetry and stories, as well as a number of books about education. He holds five fellowships, honorary doctorates from Hull, Leicester and Sheffield Hallam universities, and is a patron of a number of children's charities and organizations. He is married with four adult children. His books include The Other Side of the Dale, Over Hill and Dale, Head Over Heels in the Dales,The Heart of the Dales, Up and Down in the Dales and Trouble at the Little Village School.The Rev Diaries
By Reverend Adam Smallbone. 2014
The Rev Diaries is the hilarious tie-in novel to the award-winning hit BBC1 comedy, Rev, starring Tom Hollander.'I went into…
the newsagent's for a packet of fags and I saw the exercise book, and I thought, yes, that's got your name on it. Or it soon will. Buy it and fill it with your thoughts, which are many and beautiful and frequently in service to the Lord. Make a diary of your time at St Saviour's. Maybe, in two hundred years' time, you'll be celebrated as the Samuel Pepys of the Church of England. Or a sort of Reverend Bridget Jones. Is that too much to hope for, Lord?'Meet Rev. Adam Smallbone, recently promoted from a sleepy rural parish to funky, inner-city St Saviour's in Hackney. Out of his depth in his new, urban surroundings, he's doing the best he can, supported by his loving, but agnostic wife, Alex.As Adam struggles with the unfamiliar demands of his new parish, there aren't many he can turn to. There's the wild Colin, the waspish Archdeacon, the pompous Nigel, the smothering Adoha and Ellie, the formidably attractive headmistress of the local C of E school. There's God of course. There's always God. But in Adam's hour of need, will God - and Alex - be enough?Rev. Adam Smallbone is the vicar of St Saviour's in Hackney. He studied History at Bristol University, and was ordained in 1999. He is married to Alexandra, a solicitor. He was a curate in the Ipswich Diocese before becoming the vicar of St Peter's, Gromford, where he was able to be asleep most nights by 9 p.m.Remembering Ronnie Barker
By Richard Webber. 1993
Ronnie Barker was one of our most respected and best-loved comedy actors and here, in this fascinating biography, Richard Webber…
delves deep in to the heart of Barker's life and career, peppering his narrative with original and incisive memories from some of Barker's closest contemporaries, including Ronnie Corbett, Michael Palin and Barry Cryer. Star of the much-adored comedy classics Porridge, The Two Ronnies - one of the most successful and long-running television comedy shows ever on British television - and Open All Hours, Ronnie Barker was universally admired by the public and industry insiders alike. From his early days writing for and performing skits on The Frost Report right up to his retirement in 1988, he lit up television screens across the country with his wonderful gift for comedy and his remarkable skill for character acting. Beyond his performances on the stage and screen, Barker was also an accomplished comedy writer, providing many of the sketches and songs for The Two Ronnies and contributing material to a number of other television and radio shows. And despite his retirement he retained pole position in the public's affection, returning to the screen in 1999 to team up with his erstwhile comedy partner and great friend Ronnie Corbett for a Two Ronnies night on BBC1, followed by a BAFTA tribute in 2004 and a final appearance on television in 2005 on The Two Ronnies Christmas Sketchbook. Effortlessly funny, universally adored and an actor and writer responsible for some of Britain's best-loved and most-respected comedy, Ronnie Barker was a true comedy legend. Here he's brought to the page in winning style as he's remembered by those who best loved and knew him.Really?: The World According To Clarkson
By Jeremy Clarkson. 2013
JEREMY CLARKSON'S LATEST - AND MOST OUTRAGEOUS - TAKE ON THE WORLDCLARKSON'S BACK - AND THIS TIME HE'S PUTTING HIS…
FOOT DOWNFrom his first job as a travelling sales rep selling Paddington Bears to his latest wheeze as a gentleman farmer, Jeremy Clarkson's love of cars has just about kept him out of trouble.But in a persistently infuriating world, sometimes you have to race full-throttle at the speed-bumps.Because there's still plenty to get cross about, including:· Why nothing good ever came out of a meeting· Muesli's unmentionable side effects · Navigating London when every single road is being dug up at once· People who read online reviews of dishwashers· ****ing driverless carsBuckle up for a bumpy ride - you're holding the only book in history to require seatbelts . . .Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: Brilliant . . . Laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . Will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening StandardTHE PERFECT, THOUGHTFUL GIFT FOR THE MUM IN YOUR LIFE!This isn't a parenting book.This isn't a guide to being a…
perfect parent (spoiler: they don't exist)This is a book about you.We can only anchor, nurture, nourish and instill confidence in our children when we extend the same support to ourselves. After all, how can we effectively tend to our children's needs when our energy reserves are depleted? How can we lead by example and teach our children the importance of healthy self-esteem if we are struggling with these things ourselves? There are a thousand and one ways to parent, and only one way that's authentic for you.Drawing on her work as a psychotherapist, alongside her own experiences as a mother, Anna shows that caring with our children begins with caring for ourselves, and it's time to replace exhaustion with empowerment. Far from being selfish, self-care is an essential quality of a happier mother good parent. The greatest gift you can give to to yourself and your children, is to give yourself permission to thrive.Do Chocolate Lovers Have Sweeter Babies?: The Surprising Science of Pregnancy
By Jena Pincott. 2013
Brain Candy for expectant parents! Pregnancy is an adventure. Lots of books tell you the basics—“the baby is the size…
of [insert fruit here].” But pregnant science writer Jena Pincott began to wonder just how a baby might tinker with her body—and vice versa—and chased down answers to the questions she wouldn’t ask her doctor, such as: • Does stress sharpen your baby’s mind—or dull it? • Can you predict your baby’s temperament? • Why are babies born in the darker months of the year more likely to grow up to be novelty-loving risk takers? • Are bossy, dominant women more likely to have boys? • How can the cells left behind by your baby affect you years later? This is a different kind of pregnancy book—thoughtful, fun, and filled with information you won’t find anywhere else.Mindful As F*ck: 100 Simple Exercises to Let That Sh*t Go!
By Emily Horn. 2020
Calm the hell down, live in the now, and get mindful as f*ck with these quick and snarky ways to…
live in the moment.When the entire world seems on your ass about something, taking a second to chill out, collect your thoughts, and process your stress can help a lot.Mindful As F*ck shows you how to be present, centered, and positive so you can live in the now regardless of how you&’re feeling. With straight-forward entries like &“Slay Your Fear with Lion&’s Breath,&” &“Set Your Intention Right Fucking Now,&” and &“Write a Badass Haiku,&” this entertaining and effective book helps live your best life no matter what gets thrown your way.How to Hold Animals
By Toshimitsu Matsuhashi. 2015
How to Hold Animals is the irresistible guide to holding more than forty critters according to advice from wildlife specialists.…
Learn from the experts—a pet shop owner, a veterinarian, a wildlife photographer, and a reptile handler—how to pick up and hold dozens of species of animals, great and small, furry, scaly, and feathery, including snails, chipmunks, chickens, chinchillas, stag beetles, lizards, hamsters, owls, grasshoppers, mice, and more. Chock full of fascinating facts, interviews with experts, and full-color photos on every page, How to Hold Animals will delight and inform animal lovers of all stripes.The View From Rat Lake (John Gierach's Fly-fishing Library)
By John Gierach. 1989
Brilliant, witty, perceptive essays about fly-fishing, the natural world, and life in general by the acknowledged master of fishing writers.“In…
the world of fishing there are magic phrases that are guaranteed to summon the demon. Among them are: ‘remote trout lake,’ ‘fish up to 13 pounds,’ ‘the place the guides fish on their days off,’” writes John Gierach in this wonderful collection of thirteen essays inspired by a fishing trip to Rat Lake, a remote body of water in Montana. Once again John Gierach does what he does best—explain the peculiarities of the fishing life in a way that will amuse novices and seasoned fly fishers alike. The View from Rat Lake deftly examines man in nature and nature in man, the pleasures of fishing the high country, and the high and low comedy that occasionally overcomes even the best-planned fishing trip. Some typically sage observations from The View from Rat Lake: “One of the things we truly fish for [is] an occasion for self-congratulation.”“In every catch-and-release fisherman’s past there is an old black frying pan.”“We . . . believe that a 12-inch trout caught on a dry fly is four inches longer than a 12-inch trout caught on a nymph or streamer.”Encyclopedia Paranoiaca
By Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf. 2012
IGNORE THIS BOOK AT YOUR PERIL!Did you know that carrots cause blindness and bananas are radioactive? That too many candlelight…
dinners can cause cancer? And not only is bottled water a veritable petri dish of biohazards (so is tap water, by the way) but riding a bicycle might destroy your sex life? In Encyclopedia Paranoiaca, master satirists Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf have assembled an authoritative, disturbingly comprehensive, and utterly debilitating inventory of things poised to harm, maim, or kill you—all of them based on actual research about the perils of everyday life. Painstakingly alphabetized, cross-referenced, and thoroughly sourced for easy reference, this book just might save your life. (Apologies in advance if it doesn’t.) Beard and Cerf cite convincing evidence that everyday things we consider healthy—eating leafy greens, flossing, washing our hands—are actually harmful, and items we thought were innocuous— drinking straws, flip-flops, neckties, skinny jeans— pose life-threatening dangers. Did you know that nearly ten thousand people are sent to the emergency room each year because of escalator accidents, and, despite what you’ve heard, farmers’ markets may actually be less safe than grocery stores? And if you’re crossing your legs right now, you’re definitely at serious risk. Hilarious, insightful, and, at times, downright terrifying, Encyclopedia Paranoiaca brings to light a whole host of hidden threats and looming dooms that make asteroid impacts, planetary pandemics, and global warming look like a walk in the park (which is also emphatically not recommended). *** The Definitive Compendium of Things You Absolutely, Positively Must Not Eat, Drink, Wear, Take, Grow, Make, Buy, Use, Do, Permit, Believe, or Let Yourself Be Exposed to, Including an Awful Lot of Toxic, Lethal, Horrible Stuff That You Thought Was Safe, Good, or Healthy; All Sorts of Really Bad People Who Are Out to Get, Cheat, Steal from, or Otherwise Take Advantage of You; and a Whole Host of Existential Threats and Looming Dooms That Make Global Warming, Giant Meteors, and Planetary Pandemics Look Like a Walk in the Park (with Its High Risk of Skin Cancer, Broken Bones, Bee Stings, Allergic Seizures, Animal Attacks, Criminal Assaults, and Lightning Strikes)The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Raising Children for Fun and Profit
By Jill Conner Browne. 2008
When does 1 + 1 = 3 (or more)? When you've got a baby on the way. Part of that…
new math, says #1 New York Times bestselling author Jill Conner Browne -- whom USA Today calls "just plain funny" -- includes the addition of an outsize sense of humor to balance the equation of your growing family. The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Raising Children for Fun and Profit is a hilarious (though not scientifically tested) wink at the time-honored mysteries of parenting, because anybody who has ever had a kid or has ever known one knows that the experience is neither fun nor profitable -- so you might as well laugh! As each generation begins its hopeful, happy, and, yes, sometimes harrowing journey as Parent and Child, together they spawn a new body of "knowledge," the nuances of which will elude the Experts every time. Here are stories of the things we do for Mother Love -- or, the most incredibly full-time volunteer job ever -- and tips guaranteed not to be found in any other parenting guide. How to talk to a pregnant womanHow the diamonds on delivery policy can speed up the labor nature intendedWhy a good mother is always adept at subterfugeThe list of things you wouldn't think you would have to tell kids not to doWhy mothers of sons can never retireWhy, for parents, it's just a short drive to the poorhouse The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Raising Children for Fun and Profit will have everyone who's ever been a parent -- or has ever thought of becoming one -- or has ever been a child -- or is still one -- giggling and grinning (no small feat) through those childbearing years...and beyond.101 Ways to Torture Your Husband
By Maria Garcia-Kalb. 2010
He forgot your birthday.He always leaves his socks on the floor.He&’s glued to the tube all weekend for every game.Let&’s…
face it: Even the best of husbands are a real pain in the ass sometimes. And when all the &“talks,&” counseling sessions and self-help books fail, there&’s only one viable recourse: torture. In this hilarious collection of clever tricks and tactics, you will learn how to put your husband in his place when you:Bury the remote in the backyardHave lunch with an exPick a fight during the gameBook a male masseuse for your next massageDelete his DVR recordingsAnd many more!Risk factors rank damage done as well as how long it&’ll take him to get over it. With the creatively wicked methods outlined in this manual, he&’ll never misbehave again!Hyper-chondriac: One Man's Quest to Hurry Up and Calm Down
By Brian Frazer. 2007
Does your blood pressure surge if the car in front of you turns without signaling? Do your neck veins pulsate…
when a cashier takes too long to ring you up? Does relaxing seem like it'll have to wait until you're dead? Then your name could very well be Brian Frazer. On paper, Frazer is the world's healthiest guy. He eats right, exercises regularly, gets plenty of sleep, has never smoked and has missed only one day of flossing in the last five years. But inside he's a swirling vortex of angst, capable of contracting a new malady every month. Once Frazer realized that all his ills were tied to stress, he went on a quixotic quest for calm, venturing into everything from Tai Chi, serotonin blockers and Kabbalah to an unfortunate incident involving pineapple-chicken curry at a Craniosacral therapy session. Never has the road to wellville taken so many unforeseen turns. Achingly funny, uncomfortably true and always entertaining, Hyperchondriac is just the medicine for anyone who wants to take it down a notch.Let's Bake!: A Pusheen Cookbook (A pusheen Book Ser.)
By Claire Belton, Susanne Ng. 2020
Celebrate the tenth anniversary of Pusheen—the internet&’s favorite cartoon cat—with this colorful and fun collection of recipes that is filled…
with cookies, cakes, and other delicious treats.The ultimate cookbook for Pusheen fans and cat lovers alike, Let&’s Bake features forty vibrant recipes for sweet treats and savory snacks, inspired by the adorably plump and mischievous kitty. Each recipe is either Pusheen-shaped, or features Pusheen&’s face or the faces of her friends so these treats will satisfy your taste buds and tickle your funny bone. With recipes for home chefs of every skill level—from fruit tarts to donuts and beyond—there is something delicious for everyone in Let&’s Bake.Yes, world domination and eternal adoration can be yours!"The way to make a million dollars is to start a religion."Attributed…
to L. Ron Hubbard, founder of ScientologyWouldn't you like to control countless worshippers with a single word? To call forth bountiful offerings of gold and silver? Wouldn't you love to make your acolytes bow in awe of your greatness?Starting a new religion can be fun and profitable. You'll laugh along with Philip Athans (founder, leader, and sole member of the Church of Phil), as he shows you how to:Gather the flock and keep 'em coming back for moreOrganize mysterious and complex ritualsInterrogate (or just ridicule) the hell out of nonbelieversRecruit celebrity spokespeople, from Tom Cruise to Uma Thurman If you've ever felt the need to sacrifice on an altar beneath a blood-red moon, or just make Friday a holy day (three-day weekend, anyone?), this is the only sacred creed you need.Live long and prosper.