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If I Knew Then: Finding wisdom in failure and power in aging
By Jann Arden. 2020
NATIONAL BESTSELLERJann Arden--bestselling author, recording artist and late-blooming TV star--is back with this funny, heartfelt and fierce memoir on becoming…
a woman of a certain age. The power, gravity and freedom she's found at fifty-seven are superpowers she believes all of us can unleash.Digging deep into her strengths, her failures and her losses, Jann Arden brings us an inspiring account of how she has surprised herself, in her fifties, by at last becoming completely her own person. Like many women, it took Jann a long time to realize that trying to be pleasing and likeable and beautiful in the eyes of others was a loser's game. Letting it rip, and damning the consequences, is not only liberating, it's a hell of a lot of fun: "Being the age I am--that so many women are--is just the best time of my life." Jann weaves her own story together with tales of her mother, grandmother, and great grandmother, and the father she came close to hating, to show her younger self--and all of us--that fear and avoidance is no way to live. "What I'm thinking about now aren't all the ways I can try to hang on to my youth or all the seconds ticking by in some kind of morbid countdown to death," she writes, "but rather how I keep becoming someone I always hoped I could be. If I'm lucky one day a very old face will look back at me from the mirror, a face I once shied away from. I will love that old woman ferociously, because she has finally figured out how to live a life of purpose--not in spite of but because of all her mistakes and failures."Dad Up!: Long-Time Comedian. First-Time Father.
By Steve Patterson. 2021
From one of the country's most beloved comedians and host of CBC Radio's incredibly popular program The Debaters comes a…
funny, poignant, and at times unexpectedly wise look at what it means to be a dad in this day and age.Steve Patterson has been thinking about dad-dom for quite a while. In Dad Up! he gives his all to be the best father possible to two young girls while imparting his hard-won wisdom and insights to readers everywhere.The youngest of five boys growing up in an Irish Catholic household, Patterson mines his childhood for any sage advice he might have picked up from his own dad. He talks with candour about the difficulty he and his wife, Nancy, had conceiving, finding humour in their experiences with the fertility clinic's automated phone calls (which Patterson calls "RoboPimp") informing them when Nancy was ovulating. He chronicles the disappointment of failing to get pregnant, only to have the miracle conception take place in Regina during Grey Cup Week, under the guiding spirit of the Saskatchewan Roughriders and comedian Brent Butt (don't ask).From that point on, Steve Patterson assumes full dad-mode, riffing on the biohazard that is changing a diaper, the absolute futility of stuffed animals, becoming a public breastfeeding warrior in the most unexpected of places, and how growing up a little boy in no way prepares you to being a father to little girls.Most importantly, Dad Up! charts the awesome experience of watching tiny infants that you somehow had a hand in creating evolve into confident and crafty little people, and the lessons that they teach along the way.Talking to Canadians: A Memoir
By Rick Mercer. 2021
INSTANT #1 NATIONAL BESTSELLERCanada's beloved comic genius tells his own story for the first time. What is Rick Mercer going…
to do now? That was the question on everyone's lips when the beloved comedian retired his hugely successful TV show after 15 seasons—and at the peak of its popularity. The answer came not long after, when he roared back in a new role as stand-up-comedian, playing to sold-out houses wherever he appeared. And then Covid-19 struck. And his legions of fans began asking again: What is Rick Mercer going to do now? Well, for one thing, he's been writing a comic masterpiece. For the first time, this most private of public figures has turned the spotlight on himself, in a memoir that's as revealing as it is hilarious. In riveting anecdotal style, Rick charts his rise from highly unpromising schoolboy (in his reports "the word 'disappointment' appeared a fair bit") to the heights of TV fame. Along the way came an amazing break when, not long out of his teens, his one-man show Show Me the Button, I'll Push It. Or, Charles Lynch Must Die, became an overnight sensation—thanks in part to a bizarre ambush by its target, Charles Lynch himself. That's one story you won’t soon forget, and this book is full of them. There's a tale of how little Rick helped himself to a tree from the neighbours' garden that's set to become a new Christmas classic. There's Rick the aspiring actor, braving "the scariest thing I have ever done in my life" by performing with the Newfoundland Shakespeare Company; unforgettable scenes with politicians of every variety, from Jean Chretien to George W. Bush to Stockwell Day; and a wealth of behind-the-scenes revelations about the origins and making of This Hour Has 22 Minutes, Made in Canada, and Talking to Americans. All leading of course to the greenlighting of that mega-hit, Rick Mercer Report . . . It's a life so packed with incident (did we mention Bosnia and Kabul?) and laughter we can only hope that a future answer to "What is Rick Mercer going to do now?" is: "Write volume two."Son of Elsewhere: A Memoir in Pieces
By Elamin Abdelmahmoud. 2022
#1 NATIONAL BESTSELLER From one of the most beloved media personalities of his generation comes a one-of-a-kind reflection on Blackness,…
faith, language, pop culture, and the challenges and rewards of finding your way in the world.Professional wrestling super fandom, Ontario's endlessly unfurling 401 highway, late nights at the convenience store listening to heavy metal—for writer and podcast host Elamin Abdelmahmoud, these are the building blocks of a life. Son of Elsewhere charts that life in wise, funny, and moving reflections on the many threads that weave together into an identity. Arriving in Canada at age 12 from Sudan, Elamin's teenage years were spent trying on new ways of being in the world, new ways of relating to his almost universally white peers. His is a story of yearning to belong in a time and place where expectation and assumptions around race, faith, language, and origin make such belonging extremely difficult, but it's also a story of the surprising and unexpected ways in which connection and acceptance can be found. In this extraordinary debut collection, the process of growing—of trying, failing, and trying again to fit in—is cast against the backdrop of the memory of life in a different time, and different place—a Khartoum being bombed by the United States, a nation seeking to define and understand itself against global powers of infinite reach. Taken together, these essays explore how we pick and choose from our experience and environment to help us in the ongoing project of defining who we are—how, for instance, the example of Mo Salah, the profound grief practices of Islam, the nerdy charm of The O.C.'s Seth Cohen, and the long shadow of colonialism can cohere into a new and powerful whole. With the perfect balance of relatable humor and intellectual ferocity, Son of Elsewhere confronts what we know about ourselves, and most important, what we’re still learning.The Road Years: A Memoir, Continued . . .
By Rick Mercer. 2023
THE INSTANT #1 BESTSELLERRick Mercer is back—again!—with the eagerly awaited sequel to his bestselling memoirAt the end of his memoir…
Talking to Canadians, Rick Mercer was poised to make the biggest leap yet in his extraordinary career. Having overcome a serious lack of promise as a schoolboy and risen through the showbiz ranks—as an aspiring actor, star of a surprisingly successful one-man show about the Meech Lake Accord, co-founder of This Hour Has 22 Minutes, creator and star of the dark-comedy sitcom Made in Canada—he was about to tackle his biggest opportunity yet. The Road Years picks up the story at that exciting point, with the greenlighting of what would become Rick Mercer Report. Plans for the show, of course, included political satire and Rick’s patented rants. But Rick and his partner, Gerald Lunz, were also determined to do something that comedy tends to avoid as too challenging: they would emphasize the positive. Rick would travel from coast to coast to coast in search of everything that’s best about Canada, especially its people. He found a lot to celebrate, naturally, and was rewarded with a huge audience and a run of 15 seasons. The Road Years tells the inside story of that stupendous success. A time when Rick was heading to another town—or military base, sports centre, national park—to try dogsledding, chainsaw carving, and bear tagging; hang from a harness (a lot); ride the “Train of Death;” plus countless other joyous and/or reckless assignments. Added to the mix were encounters with the country’s great. Every living prime minister. Rock and roll royalty from Rush to Randy Bachman. Olympians and Paralympians. A skinny-dipping Bob Rae. And Jann Arden, of course, who gets a chapter to herself. Along the way he even found the time to visit several countries in Africa and co-found and champion the charity Spread the Net, which has gone on to protect the lives of millions. Join the celebration, and revive a wealth of happy memories, with what is Rick Mercer’s funniest, most fascinating book yet.Copper: A Dog's Life
By Annabel Goldsmith. 2006
A loveable local legend and true character to all who knew him, Copper was no ordinary dog. With more stories…
to tell than you could count on the pads of one paw, this curly-tailed, shaggy-bearded mongrel (but don't let him hear you call him that) led a truly astonishing life. Famed for his remarkable wanderlust, canine curiosity took him all over the place, from Richmond and Kingston to Brighton, sometimes travelling on buses with his friend Jessie the cat, often stopping off at his favourite pubs, or chasing unsuspecting joggers in the park - a hobby which nearly ended his life. In this delightful book, Copper tells us of his astounding adventures with the finest of tail-wagging wisdom. He sniffs out all the important things in life: the comings and goings, the loves and losses - and, of course, what it's like to live in high society. Sometimes cheeky, most of the time charming, but always cherished, Copper's story is by turns funny and moving, the tale of a real canine hero.There's an epidemic sweeping the nationSymptoms include:*Acute embarrassment at the mere notion of 'making a fuss'*Extreme awkwardness when faced with…
any social greeting beyond a brisk handshake *An unhealthy preoccupation with meteorology Doctors have also reported several cases of unnecessary apologising, an obsessive interest in correct queuing etiquette and dramatic sighing in the presence of loud teenagers on public transport. If you have experienced any of these symptoms, you may be suffering from VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS.VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS are highly contagious. There is no known cure.Rob Temple's hilarious new book reveals all the ways in which we are a nation of socially awkward but well-meaning oddballs, struggling to make it through every day without apologising to an inanimate object. Take comfort in misfortunes of others. You are not alone.The Middle-Class ABC
By Fi Cotter-Craig, Zebedee Helm. 2012
The Middle Class ABC is the book loos, bedside tables and farmers markets the length and breadth of the land…
have been waiting for - a humorous celebration of the facts (some are even true) and foibles, manners and mores, peccadilloes and armadillos, of contemporary British middle-class life.Letter by letter, the occasionally clever, witty and absurd observations and cartoons will ring true for all good Middlings. WARNING: you might even recognize your own or your friends' choices of children's names, foodie fads, holiday destinations . . . Crammed with affectionately teasing jokes and some truly dreadful puns, this is a book to enjoy at any time of the year in the course of going about one's business.The A-Z of Living Together
By Jeff Green. 2002
What happens when those two most incompatible of creatures - the human male and the human female - settle down…
for a life of togetherness and arguments about the toilet seat? Award-winning comedian Jeff Green bravely sets out to discover the truth. Why is, 'Wow, you're a fantastic cleaner', not considered a compliment? And what is it about women and candles...? Along the way he offers helpful advice (why you shouldn't cheer when your partner says, 'I'm not angry, I'm disappointed'), handy tips (ways to avoid becoming broody: get up every hour throughout the night and burn £200) and essential buys (see 'exercise equipment and other places to hang wet washing'). Whether you're hopelessly coupled or gratefully single, The A-Z of Living Together has all the answers you need. Because it's not just men who behave badly...The A-Z of Having a Baby
By Jeff Green. 2006
Congratulations! You're having a baby! Or maybe you're a proud parent, holding your little bundle of joy with a mixture…
of ecstasy, wonder and sheer unadulterated TERROR? But don't panic! Real help is at hand, in the form of new dad and award-winning comedian Jeff Green. Let him guide you through the late nights, the stretch marks, the haemorrhoids... (and that's just the dads) and reassure you that you are NOT ALONE. So Dad, if you're suffering from father blues (the slow realisation that all your holidays will now be at Center Parcs), and Mum, if you're still miffed that your partner kept just out of punching range during childbirth, then this book is most definitely for you. Because it's not just babies who have teething problems...Full of Hot Air: Launching, Floating High, and Landing
By Gary Paulsen. 1979
Saint and Greavsie's Funny Old Games
By Jimmy Greaves, Ian St John. 2009
Saint and Greavsie, sport's most loved double-act, have entertained millions of people over the years - first on the football…
pitches of their respective clubs and countries, then later together on the nation's television screens.They've collected a vast array of stories along the way from fellow sportspeople and pundits: some comical, some crazy, and most downright unbelievable, but all of them thoroughly entertaining. In Saint and Greavsie's Funny Old Games the duo have reunited to tell the very best of these anecdotes in their own unmistakeable style. Containing tales from the dressing-room, secrets about some of the world's biggest stars, and amazing facts from across the sporting spectrum, this hilarious book is the perfect read for any sports fan.Blighty: The Quest for Britishness, Britain, Britons, Britishness and the British
By Steve Lowe, Alan McArthur. 2009
Britishness: what does it really mean? Is it all a big con? Having skewered modern British life in the bestselling…
Is It Just Me or is Everything Shit?, Steve Lowe and Alan MacArthur set out to uncover the deep dark truth about Britain - its history, its myths and its people.Over the course of a year they watch Dorset Morris men dancing on a chalk-giant's thirty-foot-long erection, endure the Last Night of the Proms and search for a couple of pissed dragons under a hill in Wales. They ask Prince William what it means to be British, witness Scotland rising again (a bit), encounter terrifying Europhobe ladies in Surrey, and lose the will to live in Gibraltar. They also meet a lot of druids.Hilarious, timely and provocative, Blighty offers a brilliant, alternative vision of the island in the Atlantic that some people call Britain.Becoming Ageless: The Four Secrets To Looking and Feeling Younger Than Ever
By Strauss Zelnick. 2018
Four secrets to looking and feeling younger than ever. Becoming Ageless presents a three-month, detailed diet and exercise plan to…
create a leaner, more muscular and happier you. Developed by business mogul and fitness buff Strauss Zelnick--founder of the private equity firm Zelnick Media Capital and president and CEO of Take-Two Interactive, the company behind blockbuster video games such as Grand Theft Auto and NBA2K-- the strategies contained in Becoming Ageless are the same tactics that allowed Zelnick to evolve from a skinny, out-of-shape business executive (a workaholic wunderkind who headed the film studio 20th Century Fox in his early 30s) to one of the world's fittest and most physically active executives who reached his best-ever shape in his late 50s! "If you believe my fitness buddies," Zelnick writes, "I have a body that's aging in reverse...And Becoming Ageless is filled with the amazing tips and unique principles you'd find if you trained with me."Do Bats Have Bollocks?: And 101 More Utterly Stupid Questions
By Jon Butler, Bruno Vincent. 2008
The letters page of Old Git magazine continues to offer its readers an opportunity to ask and provide answers to…
the most pressing questions of our times. Questions such as:Would it help global warming if I left my fridge door open?What's the riskiest game of risk ever played? If I fell down a disused mineshaft would Lassie really run and get help, or just sit there licking his balls?Do Bats Have Bollocks? features a host of completely new and untrue questions and answers. With bags more rude jokes, shaggy dog stories and the odd entry from a new, bewildered editor who's wondering what the hell he's got himself into, this book is every bit as laugh-out-loud funny as last year's hugely successful volume Do Ants Have Arseholes?Things Snowball
By Rich Hall. 2002
I stopped off at the Peace Gardens - a memorial straddling the US-Canadian border commemorating 'Lasting Peace Between America and…
Canada', as if there had ever been a problem. Show me a garden commemorating Peace Between America and, say, Iraq and I'll be impressed. America is like a beauty contestant. It's gorgeous, until it opens its mouth.'From the similarities between US gun laws and British drinking hours, to what cryptic crosswords really tell us about the British psyche, American in London Rich Hall casts a keen eye on the lunatic contradictions and weird marvels of his native and adoptive homelands.'Full of acute left-field reflections on America and Americans, plus some marvellously irreverent sketches ...wise, witty and strangely true' GUARDIANThe A-Z of Being Single: A Survival Guide to Dating and Mating
By Jeff Green. 2003
Ah, the single life. The blind dates, the guiltless sleeping in the starfish position, the 'table for one in a…
draught, please'. In his hilarious new book, Jeff Green offers practical advice on how to find love, or failing that how to pretend you've got a significant other half. For women: Leave the fridge door open for no reason. For men: Wash your towels. And if you've just been dumped, Jeff shows how you can reach 'closure', otherwise known as uncompromising REVENGE. Also includes:** Great chat-up lines for the older lover: 'Did you break a hip when you fell from heaven?' ** Beauty tips for dates: How to look twenty years younger? Stand further away ** Things not to say on a first date: Would you like to see my shrine to the others? ** And at last, the truth about what women really want*If you're in a couple, this book will remind you why your own situation is - just about - worth tolerating. And if you're happily single, follow Jeff's advice and you're guaranteed to stay that way... * everythingDo Ants Have Arseholes?: ...and 101 other bloody ridiculous questions
By Jon Butler, Bruno Vincent. 2007
How easy is it to fall off a log? Where is the middle of nowhere? Do we really have no…
bananas? The readers of OLD GIT magazine are a batty, befuddled, potty-mouthed bunch, who seem to spend a significant chunk of their spare time corresponding with the publication's popular letters page. DO ANTS HAVE ARSEHOLES? is a very funny, very silly collection of questions and answers taken from this column, none of which has any basis whatsoever in fact. A must for all those who relish a heady mixture of shaggy-dog stories, toilet humour and utter lack of insight.Bel-Air Bambi and the Mall Rats
By Richard Peck. 1993
When Bambi Babcock's TV-producer father bankrupt, the Babcocks have to get out of Los Angeles ... fast. Dad heads for…
his hometown of Hickory Fork, which he remembers as a wholesome place for kids to grow up. But Bambi, her sister Buffie, and their little brother Brick come up against the Mall Rats, a down-home teenage gang run by scary Tanya and beef Jeeter. When the Mall Rats walk into school dives for cover. They've already trashed the mall. Bambi knows that if her show-biz family is going to get stuck here, they must turn the school around and save the town. The Mall Rats will never know what hit them.Your Dad Stole My Rake: And Other Family Dilemmas
By Tom Papa. 2018
I have been a close friend of Tom Papa for 17 years His lack of ability to perceive even…
the most basic principles of human functioning have made him an invaluable asset to me as a friend and colleague Because he sees nothing knows nothing and understands nothing I always seek his advice for the most complex matters Furthermore I would definitely recommend whatever the name of this book is because I know it comes from a place of pure nonsense without any knowledge of anything He is really one of my favorite people Jerry Seinfeld author of SeinLanguage Finally a funny book about parenting Great observations Great writing Actually funny I ve always known Tom was hysterical now I know he is a great writer and a fantastic storyteller Can Tom Papa write all books Jim Gaffigan author of Dad is FatIt s hard being a person especially in a family and no one knows that better than stand-up comedian family man and Live From Here head writer and performer Tom Papa How do you deal with a life filled with a whole host of characters and their bizarre inescapable behavior Especially when you re related to them Tom Papa is here to help you make sense of it all Your Dad Stole My Rake is a hilarious and warm book that saws deep into every branch of the family tree and uncovers the most bizarre and surprisingly meaningful aspects of our lives He exposes everyone from crazy aunts with mustaches grandparents who communicate by yelling and uncles who use marijuana as a condiment Among the topics covered - Tiger Mom v Ice-Cream Mom - Stop Trying to be Cool - In Defense of Family Vacations - No Fighting Before Coffee - Least Popular Baby Names - Wife Lie Detector - Your Cat Thinks You re Too Needy Anyone who has a family grew up in a family or has spent time with another human being will love this book