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Becoming a man: half a life story
By Paul Monette. 1992
Author of Borrowed Time: An AIDS Memoir (DB 41663) explains in this sequel how he wasted years of his life…
before he came out of the closet. Monette's self-portrait depicts his resentment of the duplicity in his life, his struggle to come to terms with his homosexuality, and the relief he felt once he met Roger, his longtime companion. Strong language and explicit descriptions of sexBreaking the surface: A Life
By Eric Marcus, Greg Louganis. 1995
Dear queer self: An experiment in memoir
By Jonathan Alexander. 2022
An unvarnished accounting of one man's struggle toward sexual and emotional maturity In this unconventional memoir, Jonathan Alexander addresses wry…
and affecting missives to a conflicted younger self. Focusing on three years—1989, 1993, and 1996—Dear Queer Self follows the author through the homophobic heights of the AIDS epidemic, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the election of Bill Clinton, and the steady advancements in gay rights that followed. With humor and wit afforded by hindsight, Alexander relives his closeted college years, his experiments with his sexuality in graduate school, his first marriage to a woman, and his budding career as a college professor. As he moves from tortured self-denial to hard-won self-acceptance, the author confronts the deeply uncomfortable ways he is implicated in his own story. More than just a coming-out narrative, Dear Queer Self is both an intimate psychological exploration and a cultural examination—a meshing of inner and outer realities and a personal reckoning with how we sometimes torture the truth to make a life. It is also a love letter, an homage to a decade of rapid change, and a playlist of the sounds, sights, and feelings of a difficult, but ultimately transformative, timeThe family outing: A memoir
By Jessi Hempel. 2022
Jessi Hempel was raised in a seemingly picture-perfect, middle-class American family. But the truth was far from perfect. Her father…
was constantly away from home, traveling for work, while her stay-at-home mother became increasingly lonely and erratic. Growing up, Jessi and her two siblings struggled to make sense of their family, their world, their changing bodies, and the emotional turmoil each was experiencing. And each, in their own way, was hiding their true self from the world. By the time Jessi reached adulthood, everyone in her family had come out: Jessi as gay, her sister as bisexual, her father as gay, her brother as transgender, and her mother as a survivor of a traumatic experience with an alleged serial killer. Yet coming out was just the beginning, starting a chain reaction of other personal revelations and reckonings that caused each of them to question their place in the world in new and ultimately liberating ways.README.txt: A Memoir
By Chelsea Manning. 2022
An intimate, revealing memoir from one of the most important activists of our time. In 2010, Chelsea Manning, working as…
an intelligence analyst in the United States Army in Iraq, disclosed classified military documents that she had smuggled out via the memory card of her digital camera. The army sentenced Manning to thirty-five years in military prison, charging her with twenty-two counts relating to the unauthorized possession and distribution of classified military documents. The day after her conviction, Manning declared her gender identity as a woman and began to transition. In 2017, President Barack Obama commuted her sentence and she was released from prison. In README.txt, Manning recounts how her pleas for increased institutional transparency and government accountability took place alongside a fight to defend her rights as a trans woman. She reveals her challenging childhood, her struggles as an adolescent, what led her to join the military, and the fierce pride she took in her work. We also learn the details of how and why she made the decision to send classified military documents to WikiLeaks. This powerful, observant memoir will stand as one of the definitive testaments of the digital age.Transformer: A story of glitter, glam rock, and loving lou reed
By Simon Doonan. 2022
In this funny and poignant memoir and cultural history, the television personality, columnist, and author of Drag pays homage to…
Lou Reed's groundbreaking album Transformer on its fiftieth anniversary and recalls its influence on his coming of age and coming out through glam rock. In November 1972, Lou Reed released his album, Transformer because he thought it was "dreary for gay people to have to listen to straight people's love songs." That groundbreaking idea echoed with the times. That same year, Sweden was the first country to legalize gender-affirming surgery, and San Francisco struck down employment discrimination based on sexual orientation. Sometimes an artistic creation perfectly aligns with a broader social and political history, and Transformer—with the songs "Walk on the Wild Side," "Perfect Day," and "Vicious"—perfectly captured its time. "Walk on the Wild Side" was banned on radio across the country but became a massive hit when young people threatened to boycott stations that would not play it. The album's cover featured a high-contrast image of Lou, flaunting a new mascara'd glamrock incarnation, shot by legend Mick Rock, thereby underscoring his intention to create "a gay album." In Transformer, Doonan tells the story of how Lou Reed came to make the album with the help of David Bowie, and places its creation within the course of Reed's life. Doonan offers first-hand testimony of the album's impact on the LGBTQ+ community, recalling how it transformed his own life as a 20-year-old working class kid from Reading, England, who had just discovered the joys of London Glam Rock and was sparked by the artistic freedom of Warhol's The Factory. Transformer was a revelation—hearing Reed's songs, Doonan understood how the world was changing for him and his friends. A poignant, personal addition to modern music and LGBTQ+ history, Transformer captures a pivotal moment when those long silenced were finally given a voice. As transgender icon Candy Darling, highlighted in his lyrics, told Reed, "It's so nice to hear ourselves." Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobookSoar, Adam, Soar
By Rick Prashaw. 2019
“Coming out. Coming in. Coming home.” Adam Prashaw’s life was full of surprises from the moment he was born. Assigned…
female at birth, and with parents who had been expecting a boy, he spent years living as “Rebecca Danielle Adam Prashaw” before coming to terms with being a transgender man. Adam captured hearts with his humour, compassion, and intensity. After a tragic accident cut his life short, he left a legacy of changed lives and a trove of social media posts documenting his life, relationships, transition, and struggles with epilepsy, all with remarkable transparency and directness. In Soar, Adam, Soar, his father, a former priest, retells Adam’s story alongside his son’s own words. From early childhood, through coming out first as a lesbian and then as a man, and his battles with epilepsy and refusal to give in, it chronicles Adam’s drive to define himself, his joyful spirit, and his love of life, which continues to conquer all.Inexplicably me: A story of labels, worthiness, and refusing to be boxed in
By Chelsea Austin Montgomery-Duban Wächter. 2022
As the daughter of two gay fathers in the '90s, Chelsea has always had a different outlook than some people.…
And yet, her message is one of universal importance-love is the most important force in the world. Through her moving and at times hilarious memoir, Chelsea reflects on how we are all much more similar than we are different. Living "two doors down from normal," Chelsea quickly learned that society loves to put people in boxes, but these boxes do not always reflect how we feel about ourselves. Through Inexplicably Me, Chelsea works to bring people together in love and acceptance and to illustrate that, while her story may seem worlds away from others, we all strive for happiness and love. From sharing the stage with President Obama when she was only eighteen years old, to her father spending her senior year of college in federal prison camp, to her biological mother dying of cancer when she was only fifty-six, Chelsea explores her painful and joyful experiences with the hope that listeners will find inspiration to face their own challenges and embrace their own joysBoys and oil: Growing up gay in a fractured land
By Taylor Brorby. 2022
From a young, gay environmentalist, a searing coming-of-age memoir set against the arid landscape of rural North Dakota, where homosexuality…
"seems akin to a ticking bomb." "I am a child of the American West, a landscape so rich and wide that my culture trembles with terror before its power." So begins Taylor Brorby's Boys and Oil, a haunting, bracingly honest memoir about growing up gay amidst the harshness of rural North Dakota, "a place where there is no safety in a ravaged landscape of mining and fracking." In visceral prose, Brorby recounts his upbringing in the coalfields; his adolescent infatuation with books; and how he felt intrinsically different from other boys. Now an environmentalist, Brorby uses the destruction of large swathes of the West as a metaphor for the terror he experienced as a youth. From an assault outside a bar in an oil boom town to a furtive romance, and from his awakening as an activist to his arrest at the Dakota Access Pipeline, Boys and Oil provides a startling portrait of an America that persists despite well-intentioned legal protectionsThey saw the elephant: women in the California gold rush
By Jo Ann Levy, JoAnn Levy. 1992
Approximately ten-percent of the Gold Rush forty-niners were female. Overlooked by historians, this volume tells the stories of the wives,…
mothers, sisters, and daughters who took the overland trail, mined for gold, and settled in San Francisco, Sacramento, and Nevada City afterwardsConfess: The autobiography
By Rob Halford. 2020
The legendary frontman of Judas Priest, one of the most successful heavy metal bands of all time, celebrates five decades…
of heavy metal in this tell-all memoir. Most priests hear confessions. This one is making his. Rob Halford, front man of global iconic metal band Judas Priest, is a true "Metal God." Raised in Britain's hard-working, heavy industrial heartland, he and his music were forged in the Black Country. Confess , his full autobiography, is an unforgettable rock 'n' roll story-a journey from a Walsall council estate to musical fame via alcoholism, addiction, police cells, ill-fated sexual trysts, and bleak personal tragedy, through to rehab, coming out, redemption . . . and finding love. Now, he is telling his gospel truth. Told with Halford's trademark self-deprecating, deadpan Black Country humor, Confess is the story of an extraordinary five decades in the music industry. It is also the tale of unlikely encounters with everybody from Superman to Andy Warhol, Madonna, Jack Nicholson, and the Queen. More than anything else, it's a celebration of the fire and power of heavy metal. Rob Halford has decided to Confess . Because it's good for the soul. Named one of the Best Music Books of 2020 by Rolling Stone and Kirkus Review sThe black period: On personhood, race, and origin
By Hafizah Augustus Geter. 2022
An acclaimed poet reclaims her origin story as the queer daughter of a Muslim Nigerian immigrant and a Black American…
visual artist in this groundbreaking memoir, combining lyrical prose, biting criticism, and haunting visuals. “I say, ‘the Black Period,’ and mean ‘home’ in all its shapeshifting ways.” In The Black Period, Hafizah creates a space for the beauty of Blackness, Islam, disability, and queerness to flourish, celebrating the many layers of her existence that America has time and again sought to erase. At nineteen, she lost her mother to a sudden stroke. Weeks later, her father became so heartsick that he needed a triple bypass. By her thirties, she was constantly in pain, pinballing between physical therapy appointments, her grief, and the grind that is the American Dream. Hafizah realized she'd spent years internalizing the narratives that white supremacy had fed her about herself. Suddenly, she says, I was standing at the cliff of my own life, remembering. Recalling her parents&’ lessons on the art of Black revision, and mixing history, political analysis, and cultural criticism, alongside stunning original artwork created by her father, renowned artist Tyrone Geter, Hafizah maps out her own narrative, weaving between a childhood populated with Southern and Nigerian relatives; her days in a small Catholic school; a loving but tragically short relationship with her mother; and the feelings of joy and community that the Black Lives Matter protests engendered in her as an adult. All throughout, she forms a new personal and collective history, addressing the systems of inequity that make life difficult for non-able-bodied persons, queer people, and communities of color while capturing a world brimming with potential, art, music, hope, and love. A unique combination of gripping memoir and Afrofuturist thought, in The Black Period, Hafizah manages to sidestep shame, confront disability, embrace forgiveness, and emerge from the erasures America imposes to exist proudly and unabashedly as herself. *Includes a downloadable PDF of visual art from the book.Greedy: Notes from a bisexual who wants too much
By Jen Winston. 2021
Finalist for the 2022 Lambda Literary Award for Bisexual Nonfiction A hilarious and whip-smart collection of essays, offering an intimate…
look at bisexuality, gender, and, of course, sex. Perfect for fans of Lindy West, Samantha Irby, and Rebecca Solnit—and anyone who wants, and deserves, to be seen. If Jen Winston knows one thing for sure, it's that she's bisexual. Or wait—maybe she isn't? Actually, she definitely is. Unless...she's not? Jen's provocative, laugh-out-loud debut takes us inside her journey of self-discovery, leading us through stories of a childhood "girl crush," an onerous quest to have a threesome, and an enduring fear of being bad at sex. Greedy follows Jen's attempts to make sense of herself as she explores the role of the male gaze, what it means to be "queer enough," and how to overcome bi stereotypes when you're the posterchild for all of them: greedy, slutty, and constantly confused. With her clever voice and clear-eyed insight, Jen draws on personal experiences with sexism and biphobia to understand how we all can and must do better. She sheds light on the reasons women, queer people, and other marginalized groups tend to make ourselves smaller, provoking the question: What would happen if we suddenly stopped? Greedy shows us that being bisexual is about so much more than who you're sleeping with—it's about finding stability in a state of flux and defining yourself on your own terms. This book inspires us to rethink the world as we know it, reminding us that Greedy was a superpower all alongNever silent: Act up and my life in activism
By Peter Staley. 2021
In 1987, somebody shoved a flyer into the hand of Peter Staley: massive AIDS demonstration, it announced. After four years…
on Wall Street as a closeted gay man, Staley was familiar with the homophobia common on trading floors. He also knew that he was not beyond the reach of HIV, having recently been diagnosed with AIDS-Related Complex. A week after the protest, Staley found his way to a packed meeting of the AIDS Coalition To Unleash Power-ACT UP-in the West Village. It would prove to be the best decision he ever made. ACT UP would change the course of AIDS, pressuring the National Institutes of Health, the FDA, and three administrations to finally respond with research that ultimately saved millions of lives. Staley, a shrewd strategist with nerves of steel, organized some of the group's most spectacular actions, from shutting down trading on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange to putting a giant condom over the house of Senator Jesse Helms. Never Silent is the inside story of what brought Staley to ACT UP and the explosive and sometimes painful years to follow-years filled with triumph, humiliation, joy, loss, and persistenceHola papi: How to come out in a walmart parking lot and other life lessons
By John Paul Brammer. 2021
LGBTQ advice columnist John Paul Brammer writes a "wise and charming" (David Sedaris) memoir-in-essays chronicling his journey from a queer,…
mixed-race kid in America's heartland to becoming the "Chicano Carrie Bradshaw" of his generation. "A master class of tone and tenderness." — The New York Times Book Review (Editors' Choice) "Should be required reading." — Los Angeles Times The first time someone called John Paul (JP) Brammer "Papi" was on the gay hookup app Grindr. At first, it was flattering; JP took this as white-guy speak for "hey, handsome." But then it happened again and again...and again, leaving JP wondering: Who the hell is Papi? Soon, this racialized moniker became the inspiration for his now wildly popular advice column "¡Hola Papi!," launching his career as the Cheryl Strayed for young queer people everywhere—and some straight people too. JP had his doubts at first—what advice could he really offer while he himself stumbled through his early twenties? Sometimes the best advice comes from looking within, which is what JP does in his column and book—and readers have flocked to him for honest, heartfelt wisdom, and more than a few laughs. In this hilarious, tenderhearted book, JP shares his story of growing up biracial and in the closet in America's heartland, while attempting to answer some of life's most challenging questions: How do I let go of the past? How do I become the person I want to be? Is there such a thing as being too gay ? Should I hook up with my grade school bully now that he's out of the closet? Questions we've all asked ourselves, surely. ¡Hola Papi! is "a warm, witty compendium of hard-won life lessons," ( Harper's Bazaar ) for anyone—gay, straight, and everything in between—who has ever taken stock of their unique place in the worldThirty-thousand steps: A memoir of sprinting toward life after loss
By Jess Keefe. 2022
After Jess Keefe ended things with her long-term boyfriend, she moved in with her brother Matt in hopes that family…
could help her not only heal from the break-up but also evolve into a healthy adult. But that fantasy ended when Matt's heroin addiction came roaring back after lying dormant for years, leading to a fatal overdose on a warm October night. Thirty-Thousand Steps is a powerful and transformative memoir that interweaves the author's obsessive training to becoming a distance runner, along with her singular, focused research into the science of addiction in the shadow of grief after the death of her brother. In the year that followed Matt's death, Jess lived alone for the first time in her life while struggling with a loose, bereaved mind. She became obsessed with what happened to her brother and how things could have been different. She dove into research about addiction and drugs. She excavated their shared childhood and young adulthood for clues. During this time, she was also learning how to become a distance runner. Jess pushed her body to its limits to quiet the chaos in her mind. After losing Matt, she knew she'd never be the same. With a propulsive narrative, a unique voice, empathy, and even humor, Jess weaves her grieving experience together with explorations of the social, political, and scientific drivers that influenced what happened to her brother. Thirty-Thousand Steps explores the psychosocial risk factors that lead to addiction, the cudgel of Catholicism, the joy and shame in the early-aughts queer experience, and the extent to which one can push mind and body to regenerate after a major lossSide affects: On being trans and feeling bad
By Hil Malatino. 2022
Some days-or weeks, or months, or even years-being trans feels bad. Yet as Hil Malatino points out, there is little…
space for trans people to think through, let alone speak of, these bad feelings. Negative emotions are suspect because they unsettle narratives of acceptance or reinforce virulently phobic framings of trans as inauthentic and threatening. In Side Affects, Malatino opens a new conversation about trans experience that acknowledges the reality of feeling fatigue, envy, burnout, numbness, and rage amid the ongoing onslaught of casual and structural transphobia in order to map the intricate emotional terrain of trans survival. Trans structures of feeling are frequently coded as negative on both sides of transition. Before transition, narratives are framed in terms of childhood trauma and being in the "wrong body." Post transition, trans individuals-especially trans people of color-are subject to unrelenting transantagonism. By moving these unloved feelings to the center of trans experience, Side Affects proposes an affective trans commons that exists outside political debates about inclusion. Acknowledging such powerful and elided feelings as anger and exhaustion, Malatino contends, is critical to motivating justice-oriented advocacy and organizing-and recalibrating new possibilities for survival and well-beingCare Of: Letters, Connections, and Cures
By Ivan Coyote. 2021
Beloved storyteller Ivan Coyote returns with their most intimate and moving book yet. Writer and performer Ivan Coyote has spent…
decades on the road, telling stories around the world. For years, Ivan has kept a file of the most special communications received from readers and audience members—letters, Facebook messages, emails, soggy handwritten notes tucked under the windshield wiper of their truck after a gig. Then came Spring, 2020, and, like artists everywhere, Coyote was grounded by the pandemic, all their planned events cancelled. The energy of a live audience, a performer’s lifeblood, was suddenly gone. But with this loss came an opportunity for a different kind of connection. Those letters that had long piled up could finally begin to be answered. Care Of combines the most powerful of these letters with Ivan’s responses, creating a body of correspondence of startling intimacy, breathtaking beauty, and heartbreaking honesty and openness. Taken together, they become an affirming and joyous reflection on many of the themes central to Coyote’s celebrated work—compassion and empathy, family fragility, non-binary and Trans identity, and the unending beauty of simply being alive, a giant love letter to the idea of human connection, and the power of truly listening to each other.Boy with the bullhorn: A memoir and history of act up New York
By Ron Goldberg. 2022
From the moment Ron Goldberg stumbled into his first ACT UP meeting in June 1987, the AIDS activist organization became…
his life. For the next eight years, he chaired committees, planned protests, led teach-ins, and facilitated their Monday night meetings. He cruised and celebrated at ACT UP parties, attended far too many AIDS memorials, and participated in over a hundred zaps and demonstrations, becoming the group's unofficial "Chant Queen," writing and leading chants for many of their major actions. Boy with the Bullhorn is both a memoir and an immersive history of the original New York chapter of ACT UP, the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power, from 1987 to 1995, told with great humor, heart, and insight. Diligently sourced and researched, Boy with the Bullhorn provides both an intimate look into how activist strategies are developed and deployed, as well as a snapshot of life in New York City during the darkest days of the AIDS epidemic. He relies on his extensive archive of original ACT UP documents, news articles, and other published material, as well as activist videos and oral histories, to help flesh out actions, events, and the background stories of key activists. Writing with great candor, Goldberg examines the group's triumphs and failures, as well as the pressures and bad behaviors that eventually tore ACT UP apartI Felt the End Before It Came: Memoirs of a Queer Ex-Jehovah's Witness
By Daniel Allen Cox. 2023
"I spent eighteen years in a group that taught me to hate myself. You cannot be queer and a Jehovah’s…
Witness—it’s one or the other."Daniel Allen Cox grew up with firm lines around what his religion considered unacceptable: celebrating birthdays and holidays; voting in elections, pursuing higher education, and other forays into independent thought. Their opposition to blood transfusions would have consequences for his mother, just as their stance on homosexuality would for him.But even years after whispers of his sexual orientation reached his congregation’s presiding elder, catalyzing his disassociation, the distinction between "in" and "out" isn’t always clear. Still in the midst of a lifelong disentanglement, Cox grapples with the group’s cultish tactics—from gaslighting to shunning—and their resulting harms—from simmering anger to substance abuse—all while redefining its concepts through a queer lens. Can Paradise be a bathhouse, a concert hall, or a room full of books?With great candour and disarming self-awareness, Cox takes readers on a journey from his early days as a solicitous door-to-door preacher in Montreal to a stint in New York City, where he’s swept up in a scene of photographers and hustlers blurring the line between art and pornography. The culmination of years spent both processing and avoiding a complicated past, I Felt the End Before It Came reckons with memory and language just as it provides a blueprint to surviving a litany of Armageddons.