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Pirattitude!: So you Wanna Be a Pirate?
By Dave Barry, John Baur, Mark Summers. 2002
Set sail for high-seas hijinks and nautical nonsense with those paragons of Pirattitude who invented the famous International Talk Like…
a Pirate Day. Whether readers are old hands at pirating or hopeless landlubbers, the Pirate Guys will have them pirate-savvy in no time with sure-fire pirate pickup lines for any occasion, tips on how to make their pirate party a buccaneer ball that even Martha Stewart would be proud of, and help determining their true pirate monicker.Satires of Circumstance With Miscellaneous Pieces
By Thomas Hardy.
How to Talk Minnesotan: Revised for the 21st Century
By Howard Mohr. 2013
A revised edition of the hilarious Minnesotan culture guide from a former writer for A Prairie Home Companion Fans…
of the Minnesota-set movie Fargo will love this uproarious culture guide to all-things Minnesotan. With his dry wit and distinctive voice, Howard Mohr won millions of fans across the country on Garrison Keillor’s radio show A Prairie Home Companion. His popular commercials and ad spots, including one for “Minnesota Language Systems,” became the best of the best of Minnesota humor. Now, Mohr has updated his classic guide, How to Talk Minnesotan, to advise visitors on the use of Twitter and Facebook, cell phone etiquette, and more while in the Land of 10,000 Lakes. .How Not to Read: Harnessing the Power of a Literature-Free Life
By Dan Wilbur. 2012
The last stupid book you'll ever need to readDon't want to slog through lengthy old books like A Tale of…
Two Cities or The Giving Tree? Sick of being judged by your avid-reader 'friends' who talk about books you've never heard of? Want to sound smarter without the strain of actually bettering yourself? Never fear. In How Not to Read, you'll find techniques to take your way through literature so you never have to read another book-ever!Inside, you'll find:••Tips for getting through anything you have to read by reading faster:Just read every third word. (One Hundred Years of Solitude becomes 'Many as the Colonel was, that when him ice. ' Wow! It's like a Gertrude Stein poem, only more comprehensible!)•Entire genres summed up in a single page: Historical fiction becomes 'Guess who else had sex? Hitler!'•Literary insults to make yourself seem smarter: 'The only thing sadder than you is a Joycean epiphany!' 'You're as weak as a passive sentence written in negative form. And probably not considered by anyone to be worth more than an adverb. 'It's time to stop fearing those people who keep bringing up Ayn Rand. How Not to Read is here to liberate the world from ever needing to read a book again. Praise for betterbooktitles. com'Probably our favorite Tumblr of the Week of all time. . . A blunt and hilarious summation of what that classic is really about. ' Time's NewsFeed blog'Inspired really. ' NPR's Monkey See blogThe Asylum
By Simon Doonan. 2013
After nearly a lifetime spent in the Industry, author and fashion insider Simon Doonan is ready to let you in…
on a little secret: his peers in this multibillion-dollar industry are just as nutty as the denizens of your local loony bin. In The Asylum, an unabashedly hilarious collection of autobiographical essays, Doonan, the creative ambassador for Barneys New York, tells the real-life stories of glamorous madness and stylish insanity. Doonan has witnessed models unable to work for fear of ghosts, gone deep-sea fishing with a couturier pal and his jailbird companion, and watched Anna Wintour remain perfectly calm while the ceiling fellliterallyin the middle of Fashion Week. Once you start looking, he says, you’ll notice telltale signs of lunacy everywhere. Style insiders see patterns and trends in everything; they suffer from outsize personality disorders and delusions of grandeur; and of course, they have a predilection for theatrical makeup and artfully destroyed clothing. No one is more suited to the asylum than the truly die-hard fashionistaafter all, eccentricity and extremism are the foundations of great style. With his gimlet eye for the absurd and a love for eccentricity, Doonan’s personal and professional stories never fail to entertain. The David Sedaris of the style universe” (The Boston Globe) gives us the scoop on the kooky, cutthroatbut always fabulousfashion world, and proves himself one of the sharpest humorists writing today. .A Glória Compartilhada
By Ronyfer, Layane Lílian Andrade Freitas. 2014
Enquanto isso, como medida de precaução, e como rezava a disciplina a seguir nestes casos, os marinheiros ocupados em amarrar…
todos os aparelhamentos e colocar o barco no mar para evitar todo tipo de catástrofe.Paraíso e inferno são separados apenas por uma linha muito tênue. Quem a ultrapassa, seu destino está condenado a mudar drástica e subitamente.A medida que a tarde caía, já no crepúsculo, se percebiam as faíscas que iluminavam toda a abóbada celestial no horizonte, rompendo com violência perversa a tranquilidade da noite que se anunciava.A sombra mortal da tempestade com sua marcha lenta se aproximava ao navio, inexoravelmente.Inútil dar a volta. Contra todos os prognósticos de horas anteriores, a tempestade encaminhava seu andar ameaçante para a embarcação.Não há nada pior que cair no abismo do inferno.Trovões e relâmpagos anunciavamla chegada às portas do mundo dos infernos. As ondas se levantavam enormes de sua letargia inicial formando desmedidos braços de água para pegar tudo o que tivesse ao seu redor.O mar faminto por tragar tudo o que por lei natural lhe pertenece. Tudo o que se encontra em seus domínios.E a embarcação começou a ser sacudida com fúria selvagem. Os marinheiros afogavam seus gritos desesperados enquanto tratavam de colocar o barco sob controle que se balançava como se fosse um barquinho de papel.A morte não tem pressa em seu andar nem tem que se anunciar. Chega forda de tempo e sem aviso prévio. Tal é o balanço da existência. Do que hoje é e do que fica dele depois.Arrastados por aquelas enormes ondas saiam pela borda lançados irreversivelmente para mais além.Cleto, impulsionado por um instinto, como último recurso apenas tevo tempo de se envolver com umas redes que protegiam alguns lenços enormes de lona ficando preso como parte do pacote, enquanto em uma dança tétrica, daquele barco ecoava o raReel Life Lessons ... So Far
By Rico Rodriguez. 2012
“I love to entertain people and make them laugh. Whether through Manny or by just being myself, making people laugh…
is the greatest feeling in the world. Getting an opportunity to do that at my age has taught me a lot. So, I started this journal as a reminder of the most important real and 'reel' life lessons that I hope to never forget. ” Barely into his teen years, Rico Rodriguez is living his dream, playing the hilarious and infectious character Manny Delgado on ABC’s Emmy Award–winning sitcom Modern Family. As his on-screen alter ego, Rico dispenses wisdom with a maturity far beyond his age. In Reel Life Lessons. . . So Far, he shares his own thoughts about growing up, facing life’s challenges, and the importance of family. Written in a simple, lighthearted manner and filled with witty and engaging anecdotes about Rico’s life on and off the set—or, as he puts it, life with his real family and his reel family, Reel Life Lessons. . . So Far reflects a sense of warmth and charm that will remind readers of all ages about the true kid inside us all. .Astral Sex-Zen Teabags
By Gerry Thompson, Anne Ward. 2012
This handy and humorous reference guide provides definitions of the most popular new age terminology with laughs on every page.…
Complete with illustrations of select definitions, this dictionary deconstructs and skewers the most popular and pretentious of phrases. From Archetypes to Peacemongers and so much more, this is an invaluable resource for the new age enthusiast who isn't afraid of a little self-deprecation.The Lumley Autograph
By Susan Fenimore Cooper.
Your Presidential Fantasy Dream Team
By Winston Rowntree, Daniel O'Brien. 2016
Fans of How They Croaked: The Awful Ends of the Awfully Famous and Kid Presidents can draft their own presidential…
fantasy team, based on these hilarious-but-true profiles of our past leaders. What if a zombie apocalypse or a robot uprising threatened the nation and you had the power to recruit some of the nation's finest presidents to help save the day? By studying the most successful squads in history, Daniel O'Brien has identified the perfect ingredients for a victorious team. Which president would you choose for: the Brain, the Brawn, the Moral Compass, the Loose Cannon, and the Roosevelt? Choose wisely--the fate of the world is in your hands!Because I Said So!
By Charlie Woglom, Lauri Berkenkamp, Steven C Atkins. 2003
For parents everywhere whose kids complain about helping around the house, stall over homework, and bicker with one other, help…
is at hand. With compassion and humor, this book takes on the most common points of kid-induced friction-those altercations and annoying behaviors that drive parents most nuts-and offers quick, practical how-to advice for how to handle them. It explains to parents how to navigate everyday challenges, from helping kids learn responsibility for their possessions to getting them to stop tattling, whining, and using disrespectful language. Complete with solutions, helpful hints, and interesting bits of information, this indispensable guide offers exasperated parents the emotional support and reassurance they need to reduce friction and increase communication in the household.Everybody's Business is Nobody's Business
By Daniel Defoe.
Nerd Do Well
By Simon Pegg. 2010
Zombies in North London, death cults in the West Country, the engineering deck of the Enterprise: Simon Pegg has been…
ploughing some bizarre furrows in recent times. Having blasted onto the small screens with his now legendary sitcom Spaced, his rise to nation's favourite son status has been mercurial, meteoric, megatronnic, but mostly just plain great. From his childhood (and subsequently adult) obsession with Star Wars, his often passionate friendship with Nick Frost, and his forays into stand-up which began with his regular Monday morning slot in front of his 12-year-old classmates, this is a joyous tale of a homegrown superstar and a local boy made good.The Burning Spear
By John Galsworthy.
100 Things I Hate about Pregnancy: What You'll Detest When You're Expecting
By Kate Konopicky. 2006
What you'll detest when you're expecting. Are you pregnant and peevish?Between morning sickness, all those strangers who want to touch…
your belly and give you really good advice, deeper exhaustion than you've ever known, plus what passes for fashion in maternity underwear, no wonder your delicate condition is driving you crazy. Also includes some really good advice, factoids, and cool resources.Misschien De Kerstman?
By Sylvia Hendriks, Dan Alatorre. 2015
Een routine uitstapje naar de winkel creëert een gouden kans voor een liefhebbende vader om een geweldige kerst herinnering te…
geven aan zijn drie jaar oude dochter. Gevuld met humor en liefde, zal dit verhaal je laten lachen en de pagina's laten omdraaien om te zien of de vreemdeling met het rode shirt en de witte baard misschien... de Kerstman is?Syrup: A Novel
By Max Barry. 1999
Now a major motion picture starring Amber Heard, Shiloh Fernandez, Kellan Lutz, and Brittany Snow Scat (formerly known as Michael…
Holloway) is young, underemployed, and trying to make it in Los Angeles. When he comes up with the idea for the hottest new soda ever, he’s sure he’ll become the next overnight sensation, maybe even retire early. But in the treacherous waters of corporate America there are no sure things and Scat finds that he has to fight to save his idea if his yet-to-be-realized career will ever get off the ground. With the help of a scarily gorgeous and brilliant marketing director named 6, he sets out on a mission to grab hold the fame and fortune that, time and again, elude him. This sharp-witted novel is a scathingly funny satire of celebrity, the pop culture machine, and the length to which a guy will go to get aheadand get a date while doing it. .Hot. Passionate. and Illegal?
By Cristian de la Fuente, Federico Larino. 2010
From Dancing With the Stars finalist Cristian de la Fuente comes a tongue-in-cheek guide to understanding Latino culture-now in paperback.…
As a contestant on Dancing with the Stars, international star and actor Cristián de la Fuente automatically assumed the role of the flashy Latino dancer, donning bright fuchsia costumes with his bare chest exposed. But Cristián ultimately wowed the judges and reached the finals-not with his fancy footwork but with his charm. Quickly, the producers and viewers learned that just because someone is Latino does not necessarily mean he can dance... And Cristián proved Latinos can and should not be reduced to one-dimensional definitions. In Hot. Passionate. And Illegal?, Cristián uses his personal and funny experiences as a Latino in Hollywood to dispel common myths and admit the sometimes embarrassing, yet endearing, truths about Latinos.Vampire Taxonomy
By Meredith Woerner. 2009
Now that millions have read and seen Twilight, where do they turn for vampire advice? This wry, witty, fully illustrated,…
and bloody essential guide. Vampires are all around-books, movies, TV, comics- infiltrating our culture like never before. But what happens if one should run into a real vamp on the street? Vampire Taxonomy is the best defense against a fatal encounter in the dark. For the reader's protection, Meredith Woerner reveals the truth about: ?Sunlight sensitivity-Do vamps venture out in the day or stick solely to the evening hours? ?Physiology-When ready to feed, do they change appearance or simply lure with the seductive flash of a fang? ?Dress-Are they decked out in leather with aspirations of becoming the first vampire rock stars or do they cling to Gothic robes and ruffled collars? ?Diet-Are they waging a never-ending struggle against the temptation of human blood or do they view the world as their personal blood buffet? .Shut Up He Explained
By John Metcalf. 2007
John Metcalf's Shut Up He Explained defies expectations and strict definition. Part memoir, part travelogue, part criticism -- wholly Metcalf…
-- it is thoughtful, engaged, contentious and often very funny. It offers a full does of Metcalfian wisdom and wit, and provides ample evidence that neither age nor indifference nor attack have withered him: he remains as sharp, critical, constructive and insightful as ever. Indeed, this may just be his most important and engaged book. Certainly it will be among his most controversial. What his critics will refuse to see, of course, is that it is also among his most positive, that it is a celebration of the best literature Canada has to offer, the birth of which Metcalf himself both witnesses and actively encouraged. Shut Up He Explained is magisterial, a virtuoso performance melding several seemingly different strands into one coherent narrative, which should delight and entertain as it serves to argue, elucidate and celebrate.