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A Moose and a Lobster Walk into a Bar: Tales From Maine
By John Mcdonald. 2002
Classic stories, stretched truths and wry observations of life in the Pine Tree State by columnist and professional storyteller John…
McDonald. A Moose and a Lobster Walk Into a Bar is a wonderful mix of classic Maine storytelling, stretched truths and wry observations made by John McDonald during his many travels through the Pine Tree State. In this collection of essays and stories, John extols the important economic power of Maine's Yard Sale Industry, bemoans that Massachusetts, still upset because it allowed Maine to become a state in 1820, is buying it back one house at a time and relates how the state's infamous black fly was really just an attempt at controlling tourists gone haywire. You will also meet Maine characters like Uncle Abner, Merrill Minzey and Hollis Eaton, and find yourself pondering just where the truth ends and the story begins.The Ultimate Book of Insults: A Handbook of Abuse, Snubs, Taunts, and Put-Downs
By Geoff Tibballs. 2006
A brilliant collection of insults and sharp retorts for every situation. Includes studied insults, wry putdowns, literary, political, and dramatic…
rebukes, playground insults, barbs and jibes. The perfect resource for responding to life's slings and arrows with humour and satisfying venom.The Mammoth Book of Insults (Mammoth Books)
By Geoff Tibballs. 2007
Never be stuck for a wicked line again! - the ultimate collection of insultsHere is the biggest and best ever…
collection of insults and sharp retorts for when you just wish you could have thought of something faster. Editor Geoff Tibballs presents over 5000 come-backs, put-downs, snaps, insults, unadmiring quips and quotes, for every occasion. From the most elegant of studied insults to the wickedest of putdowns, from the language of the street to the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, from playground insults to sports, family and marriage jibes - here is every possible barb you could ever need, guaranteed to crack up all those around you. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? Your mother's so fat, she has her own area code. Are your parents siblings? Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice. Is there no beginning to your talents? You'd be out of your depth in a puddle. Don't you need a licence to be that ugly? I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my arse. I'd love to go out with you but I have to worm my dog.The Gannet's Gastronomic Miscellany
By Killian Fox. 2017
'This book is the product of a ludicrously obsessive and greedy mind - it is therefore an utter joy.' -…
JAY RAYNER'A vital work from a keen mind full to brimming with wonderful thoughts and ideas.' - JEREMY LEE'The most original, entertaining and downright fascinating book.' - DAVE BROOM'Exercise caution before you buy this book. In fact, be careful about even flipping it open. You think Instagram is addictive? Ha. This book is as essential and educational as it is delightful and weird, and I need someone to come rescue me immediately because I cannot seem to put the damn thing down.' - JEFF GORDINIER, FOOD & DRINKS EDITOR, ESQUIRE MAGAZINE'Perfect for the culinarily curious.' - DIANA HENRYgannetnoun1. a large seabird with mainly white plumage, which catches fish by plunging into the water.2. British informal, a greedy person.The Gannet's Gastronomic Miscellany goes beyond the usual food fixations. Presented in a fresh, visually inventive style, it will appeal to anyone with a passing interest in food - which, in this gastronomy-obsessed age, is pretty much all of us.In this compendious hotpot of a book you'll find a guide to creating a hit food profile on Instagram, a cross-section of a tiffin box, an explainer on craft beer, the origin story of Chicken Marengo, a list of millennia-old products that are still edible today (should you be brave enough to try Irish bog butter or Ancient Egyptian honey) and many more delightful nuggets of information.Dreams of the Rarebit Fiend
By Winsor Mccay. 1973
From the creator of Little Nemo comes this pioneering cartoon strip, a world of dreams and nightmares, fraught with episodes…
of wish fulfillments and exaggerations in size and perspective. This facsimile of the rare 1905 first edition recaptures Winsor McCay's imaginative brilliance and his influence on latter-day animation with 60 cartoon sequences.My Miserable Lonely Lesbian Pregnancy
By Andrea Askowitz. 2008
The Mammoth Book of Irish Humour
By Aubrey Malone. 2012
This bumper collection of Irish humour covers topics such as Absenteeism and Zoos and everything in between. It would be…
disappointing should such a large collection not include the best of famous Irish wits such as Oscar Wilde and George Bernard Shaw, but the emphasis is very much on contemporary Irish humour from the likes of Tommy Tiernan, Dylan Moran, Ardal O'Hanlon and Dara O'Briain, to name just a few. Lunatic, iconoclastic and, as Spike Milligan might have put it, involving 'sideways thinking', this is Irish humour at its very best.Pun Direction
By Stewart Francis. 2013
I was standing in the park today wondering, why does a Frisbee appear larger the closer it gets? And then…
it hit me.'Stewart Francis is the king of the smart one-liner, the brilliantly crafted, often punning gag delivered in his trademark deadpan style.In this, his first book, he presents 500 of his funniest, most perfectly formed gags plus hilarious cartoons and more.The Mammoth Book of More Dirty, Sick, X-Rated and Politically Incorrect Jokes
By Geoff Tibballs. 2013
Funny, fearless and absolutely filthy-nearly 3,000 more uncensored, dirty, sick, and deeply politically incorrect jokes, covering just about every topic…
imaginable, from adultery to (sex in) Zoos, including an assortment of bad taste lists. A worthy, all-new follow-on to the first bestselling volume.Sorting Out Billy
By Jo Brand. 2004
Billy is a lad. He's a laugh, he's loud, he behaves badly and Sarah is besotted with him. But after…
another 'accident' involving Billy's temper, Sarah's face and a night in the A&E, Sarah's friends Martha and Flower decide that it's time to take action. What should they do? Reason with him? Send him to anger management classes? Hire a hit man? Martha and Flower have problems of their own: Martha is seven months pregnant by one of three possible blokes (she did this mainly to wind up her sanctimonious vicar father); and hippie Flower's career as a stand-up comic is more sit-down after some nasty encounters with south London's finest hecklers. Will Martha survive single-motherhood on a council estate in need of a peace-keeping force? Will Flower find the perfect put-down? And will they sort out Billy before he gets to them first...? Jo Brand tells it like it is in her darkly comic and sharply observed debut novel.It's Different For Girls
By Jo Brand. 2005
A wonderfully funny and poignant novel about growing up in the seventies, teenage angst, growing pains and first love. Rachel…
and Susan do not like to be beside the seaside. Hastings is so uncool. Plunging headfirst into the choppy waters of adolescence, they are determined to survive their teens by sticking together. It?s a rollercoaster ride of nutty parents, randy language students, stoned hippies, all-night parties on the pier, and an amusement arcade of emotional neediness.Letts Rip!
By Quentin Letts. 2010
Throughout the New Labour years - that decade of deceit, that era of wretched wriggle - the Daily Mail's Quentin…
Letts has maintained a lonely, vehement vigil. Like a lone clay pigeon shot squinting through his sights at a sky black with targets, he has fired his daily bullets at the poseurs and pooh-bahs of British public life.John Prescott? BANG! Alan Sugar? BANG BANG!Peter Mandelson, Harriet Harman, and the Commons Speaker Letts nicknamed 'Gorbals Mick'? Bullseyes - every single one.In this collection of anguished and often snortingly funny political sketches and journalism, Letts lets off more steam than a Chinese laundry. The modern Establishment won't like it. They tried to gag him. Smear him. Even tried to get him fired. Quentin Letts: The man they could not silence. As his wife will be the first to tell you.Feisty First Ladies and Other Unforgettable White House Women
By Autumn Stephens. 2009
First ladies are supposed to be dignified background figures, quietly supportive of their husbands' agendas. Above all, they're not supposed…
to act out or cause even a whiff of scandal. Of course, reality often overrides conventional wisdom, and this book shows how far from the prim ideal many of the Presidents' wives have strayed. Part irreverent portrait gallery, part exuberant expose, Feisty First Ladies and Other Unforgettable White House Women introduces a remarkable array of wild women, from Martha Washington, who opposed her own husband's presidential election; to Abraham Lincoln's eccentric wife, Mary; to rebellious daughters like Patti Davis who were the tabloid fodder of their day. Laugh-out-loud funny and filled with amazing stranger-than-fiction facts from our American history, Feisty First Ladies journeys into the realm of the eclectic sisterhood whose outrageous words and deeds have rocked the fusty old foundations of the White House -- and the nation!Road to Rouen
By Ben Hatch. 2013
From the bestselling author of ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET? (Radio 2 Book of the Year & voted Amazon Customers'…
Fave Kindle Read 2011) comes a new hilarious and touching story of travel chaos.Chosen as one of Amazon's Best Kindle Books of 2013 Ben Hatch is on the road again. Commissioned to write a guidebook about France (despite not speaking any French) he sets off with visions of relaxing chateaux and refined dining. Ten thousand miles later his family's been attacked by a donkey, had a run-in with a death-cult and, after a near drowning and a calamitous wedding experience involving a British spy, his own marriage is in jeopardy. A combination of obsessions about mosquitoes, French gravel and vegetable theme parks mean it's a bumpy ride as Ben takes a stand against tyrannical French pool attendants, finds himself running with the bulls in Pamplona and almost starring in a snuff movie after a near fatal decision to climb into a millionaire's Chevrolet Blazer.Funny and poignant, Road to Rouen asks important questions about life, marriage and whether it's ever acceptable to tape baguette to your children's legs to smuggle lunch into Disneyland Paris.The Gentleman's Instant Genius Guide: Become An Expert In Everything
By Tom Cutler. 2011
Who has time nowadays to put in the graft to succeed? And why bother, when the truly important things in…
life only take a quarter of an hour to master?Here, Tom Cutler proves that following the path to becoming disgustingly rich, stylish, intelligent, thin, happy, classy, successful and a legend in the bedroom need take no longer than it does to cut your toenails, or listen to The Archers. Learn how to become as popular as your dog.Which sports car suits your personality?How to work out the date of your death.Are you a genius? With Tom Cutler's help you will soon find inner perfection and hugely impress your family, friends and work colleagues. From the author of the brilliant A Gentleman's Bedside Book, this is a hilariously funny but deeply practical guide to self-improvement.Caledonia Dreaming
By John Kv Eunson. 2010
So what have the Scots ever done for the world then? Well, most people will know about John Logie Baird…
(inventor of television), Alexander Graham Bell (the telephone) and Alexander Fleming (penicillin). But what about Alexander Cummings from Edinburgh? It would be hard to imagine getting through the day without using his invention - the flushing toilet. Or how about William Cullen from Glasgow? There would be a lot of sour milk (and warm beer) without the first man to demonstrate artificial refrigeration. And then there's Alexander Bain from Caithness? Can anyone really imagine a world without his invention - the fax machine? The list goes on and on; Janet Keillor from Dundee (marmalade), James Clerk Maxwell from Edinburgh (radio waves), John Reith from Stonehaven (the BBC), James Black from Uddingston (beta-blockers) James Bowman Lindsay from Angus (light bulbs), James Goodfellow from Paisley (the ATM), Dugald Clerk from Glasgow (the two-stroke engine), Alexander McRae from the Kyle of Lochalsh (speedos), James Blyth from Kincardineshire (the first electricity producing wind turbine). Caledonia Dreaming tells the often frankly unbelievable stories behind these discoveries and looks at how they, along with the writers, philosophers, philanthropists and bankers of Scotland have left their unique, indelible mark on the modern world.Run, John, Run
By Kevin Joslin. 2011
Do you like shopping? John does. When Janet and John go to the big department store, Janet says, 'I'm going…
to have a look around the kitchen department. I'll see you back here in half an hour.' Janet has bought some new kitchen scissors. Janet says, 'Have you been a good boy?' 'Yes,' says John. 'I saw Mrs. Llewellyn. She was complaining that her husband wasn't very well served in the trouser department and said that I looked like a man who knew how to treat a lady properly. After that I saw Mrs. Steward. She said she was always on the lookout for a partner with good ballroom and asked if I'd like to come to her special club and learn how to Mazurka'. Do you know how to get scissors out of plastic packaging in under a second? Janet does. See Janet chase John. Run John, run. During its transmission, 8 million listeners to BBC Radio 2's Wake Up To Wogan were beguiled and bewitched by the naughty but nice adventures of John and his wife Janet. As a favourite segment, the stories moved with Terry Wogan to his Sunday morning show, Weekend Wogan. In the style of children's stories of yesteryear, John gets up to all sorts. Then he tells Janet all about his day, by which time every perfectly innocent big end, back passage and stiff one acquires a whole new meaning. This second instalment promises even more devilish double entendres, with over seventy new stories to tickle your funny bones.99 Dead Snowmen
By Tony De Saulles. 2012
Stan the Snowman does not have the best of luck. In fact, it seems like everyone is out to get…
him. Beset by enemies on all sides, he is viciously attacked by an extraordinary array of things - old ladies, robins, super models, rabbits, hot water bottles, daffodils, chocolate flakes, evil cannibal snowmen... The list goes on and on in this hilarious cartoon collection of 99 freaky fatalities will leave you crying with laughter. A wintry Christmas present to die for.So You're Going to Be a Dad, revised edition
By Peter Downey. 2005
For new dads, So You’re Going to Be a Dad is the bottom line on pregnancy, childbirth, newborns, and young…
children. Inspiring and down-to-earth, the guide prepares readers for the changes, challenges, and joys of parenthood, from what to say (and what not to say) when she shares the big news to navigating the delivery room and first days as a family. Now fully updated, the guide offers the latest information and thinking on: Today’s delivery methods and medical procedures Social media and the online parenting world Baby gear you really needand much more.Kinders hou van grappies vertel
By Bernard Levine, Adri Van Schalkwyk. 2016
Hier is ʼn versameling snaakse grappe wat ek geniet het toe ek op skool was. Kinders is lief om te…
lag. Hulle sal groot pret hê om hierdie grappies oor en oor aan hul vriende te vertel. Hierdie vermaaklike boek sal jou kinders ure se geluk en plesier gee.