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The Mammoth Book of Losers (Mammoth Books)
By Karl Shaw. 2014
This compendious celebration of ineptitude includes some of history?s most spectacularly ill-conceived expeditions and entirely useless pursuits, and features tales…
of black comedy, insane foolhardiness, breathtaking stupidity and relentless perseverance in the face of inevitable defeat. It rejoices in men and women made of the Wrong Stuff: writers who believed in the power of words, but could never quite find the rights ones; artists and performers who indulged their creative impulse with a passion, if not a sense of the ridiculous, an eye for perspective or the ability to hold down a tune; scientists and businessmen who never quite managed to quit while they were ahead; and sportsmen who seemed to manage always to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Like Walter Oudney, one of three men chosen to find the source of the River Niger in Africa, who could not ride a horse, nor speak any foreign languages and who had never travelled more than 30 miles beyond his native Edinburgh; or the explorer-priest Michel Alexandre de Baize, who set off to explore the African continent from east to west equipped with 24 umbrellas, some fireworks, two suits of armor, and a portable organ; or the Scottish army which decided to invade England in 1349 ? during the Black Death. Entries include: briefest career in dentistry; least successful bonding exercise; most futile attempt to find a lost tribe; most pointless lines of research by someone who should have known better; least successful celebrity endorsement; least convincing excuse for a war; worst poetic tribute to a root vegetable; least successful display of impartiality by a juror; Devon Loch ? sporting metaphor for blowing un unblowable lead; least dignified exit from office by a French president; and least successful expedition by camel.Dumb Employed: Hilariously Dumb and Sadly True Stories about Jobs Like Yours
By Phil Edwards, Matt Kraft. 2011
If you've ever wanted to crawl under your desk at work and hide, or tell that pesky coworker what you…
really think of them, you are probably dumbemployed! Dumbemployed includes approximately 800 of the best, funniest, and dumbest stories contributed by readers from dumbemployed. com, with ninety percent brand-new material! In 300 characters or less, each entry details the stupid, bizarre, and ridiculous things that happen in the workplace. Entries are divided into five chapters and are complemented throughout with Dumbemployed Tips, humorous charts and graphs, and room to write your very own Dumbemployed entries.Sick of the mindless pablum of inspiration” offered by page-a-day devotionals? Tired of the relentless celebration of positive thinking? Perhaps…
it’s time for something with a bit more bite to it. Daily Scoldings are daily doses of bitter truth that will wake anyone out of their narcissism, delusions of grandeur, and indulgent happy thoughts. Think of it as a mental dousing of cold water, first thing in the morning. It’s the perfect gift for the crank, cynic, or curmudgeon in one’s life.A modern version of the book The Art of War. Bing's setting is not a Chinese battlefield, but today's urban…
life, and In Bing's world, only loved ones are entitled to the smallest sliver of loyalty--everyone else is the enemy.A Moose and a Lobster Walk into a Bar: Tales From Maine
By John Mcdonald. 2002
Classic stories, stretched truths and wry observations of life in the Pine Tree State by columnist and professional storyteller John…
McDonald. A Moose and a Lobster Walk Into a Bar is a wonderful mix of classic Maine storytelling, stretched truths and wry observations made by John McDonald during his many travels through the Pine Tree State. In this collection of essays and stories, John extols the important economic power of Maine's Yard Sale Industry, bemoans that Massachusetts, still upset because it allowed Maine to become a state in 1820, is buying it back one house at a time and relates how the state's infamous black fly was really just an attempt at controlling tourists gone haywire. You will also meet Maine characters like Uncle Abner, Merrill Minzey and Hollis Eaton, and find yourself pondering just where the truth ends and the story begins.The Ultimate Book of Insults: A Handbook of Abuse, Snubs, Taunts, and Put-Downs
By Geoff Tibballs. 2006
A brilliant collection of insults and sharp retorts for every situation. Includes studied insults, wry putdowns, literary, political, and dramatic…
rebukes, playground insults, barbs and jibes. The perfect resource for responding to life's slings and arrows with humour and satisfying venom.The Mammoth Book of Insults (Mammoth Books)
By Geoff Tibballs. 2007
Never be stuck for a wicked line again! - the ultimate collection of insultsHere is the biggest and best ever…
collection of insults and sharp retorts for when you just wish you could have thought of something faster. Editor Geoff Tibballs presents over 5000 come-backs, put-downs, snaps, insults, unadmiring quips and quotes, for every occasion. From the most elegant of studied insults to the wickedest of putdowns, from the language of the street to the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, from playground insults to sports, family and marriage jibes - here is every possible barb you could ever need, guaranteed to crack up all those around you. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? Your mother's so fat, she has her own area code. Are your parents siblings? Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice. Is there no beginning to your talents? You'd be out of your depth in a puddle. Don't you need a licence to be that ugly? I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my arse. I'd love to go out with you but I have to worm my dog.The Gannet's Gastronomic Miscellany
By Killian Fox. 2017
'This book is the product of a ludicrously obsessive and greedy mind - it is therefore an utter joy.' -…
JAY RAYNER'A vital work from a keen mind full to brimming with wonderful thoughts and ideas.' - JEREMY LEE'The most original, entertaining and downright fascinating book.' - DAVE BROOM'Exercise caution before you buy this book. In fact, be careful about even flipping it open. You think Instagram is addictive? Ha. This book is as essential and educational as it is delightful and weird, and I need someone to come rescue me immediately because I cannot seem to put the damn thing down.' - JEFF GORDINIER, FOOD & DRINKS EDITOR, ESQUIRE MAGAZINE'Perfect for the culinarily curious.' - DIANA HENRYgannetnoun1. a large seabird with mainly white plumage, which catches fish by plunging into the water.2. British informal, a greedy person.The Gannet's Gastronomic Miscellany goes beyond the usual food fixations. Presented in a fresh, visually inventive style, it will appeal to anyone with a passing interest in food - which, in this gastronomy-obsessed age, is pretty much all of us.In this compendious hotpot of a book you'll find a guide to creating a hit food profile on Instagram, a cross-section of a tiffin box, an explainer on craft beer, the origin story of Chicken Marengo, a list of millennia-old products that are still edible today (should you be brave enough to try Irish bog butter or Ancient Egyptian honey) and many more delightful nuggets of information.Darling Georgie: The Engima of George V
By Dennis Friedman. 1998
Eminent psychiatrist Dennis Friedman turns his acute gaze on our present Queen Elizabeth's grandfather, King George V (1885-1936), to reveal…
the man behind the monarch. Taking as his starting point the widely held belief that the personality and behavior of parents and grandparents have a powerful influence on the children and grandchildren--and even great-grandchildren--Dr. Friedman's insightful biography contains new evidence. It suggests an emotional inheritance partly derived from his father Edward VII's psychologically damaging upbringing at the hands of Queen Victoria that he was to pass on to his own children. In the case of George, a suffocating relationship with his mother, compounded by the absence and neglect of his father, caused him as a child to suffer extreme separation anxiety, which was reinforced by his being sent away to boarding school at the age of 11, where he was bullied by other victims of similar parenting. His often unhappy time in the Navy and later sexual development is also scrutinized, as are his years on the throne. History depicts George V as a model husband, a near-perfect father, and a self-confident monarch. Dr. Friedman's study of his personal life reveals a quite different man whose legacy is still evident in today's royals.Dreams of the Rarebit Fiend
By Winsor Mccay. 1973
From the creator of Little Nemo comes this pioneering cartoon strip, a world of dreams and nightmares, fraught with episodes…
of wish fulfillments and exaggerations in size and perspective. This facsimile of the rare 1905 first edition recaptures Winsor McCay's imaginative brilliance and his influence on latter-day animation with 60 cartoon sequences.Inheritance: A Psychological History of the Royal Family
By Dennis Friedman. 2014
In exploring Royal dynamics, Inheritance sheds light on problems found in any familyOn its first publication in the 1990s, Dennis…
Friedman's Inheritance caused a furor in England as he traced the many problems of the Royal family as it was then back to Queen Victoria's nursery, unveiling a host of psychodramas played out against a privileged background of English palaces and Scottish castles. In a post-Diana age, the arrival of a new Prince George to the seemingly stable and blissfully happy William and Kate seems to refute Fiedman's thesis--but what of the notoriously wayward Prince Harry? Many questions are raised in this book addressing the complex and turbulent royal relationships, perhaps the most fundamental being the rigid and traditional royal upbringing which still awaits the baby prince. As the royal line is followed down the generations no direct descendent is overlooked and no issue is sidestepped.The Playboy Princes: The Apprentice Years of Edward VII and VIII
By Peter Beer. 2014
A fascinating dual biography proves that controversial Royal Family members are not necessarily only a feature of late 20th- or…
21st-century lifeEdward VII (1841-1910) and his grandson Edward VIII (1894-1972) were born in different eras, but it is illuminating to compare the early and middle years of the two Princes of Wales as kings in waiting and discover how their youth informed their years on the British throne. The privileges of rank aside, they were heirs to an unenviable role, and this study presents a unique portrait of strained apprenticeships for which there was no satisfactory precedent. Theirs was an upbringing dictated by dogmatic prescription and the heavy weight of obligation. As they pursued their lives according to their distinct personalities, they were never relieved of parental strictures, especially with regard to Queen Victoria and her eldest son, who filled the void with shallow interests, a profligate style of living, and the delights of Parisian nightlife. Inevitably the two princes were consigned to filling much of their time with insubstantial engagements not best suited to their characters and which reveal a common vulnerability. In the case of the future Edward VIII, he took a jaundiced view of matters of state and preferred dance floors, riding to hounds, and the ministrations of lovers. This book is the story of the heirs' progress that provides often unexpected perspectives on two public figures better known through the history of their respective reigns. For readers in this era, the similar position of Prince Charles ensures that this survey is a timely as well as a surprisingly entertaining read.The Gothic King: A Biography of Henry III
By John Paul Davis. 2013
The first biography in many years of Henry IIIThe son and successor of Bad King John, Henry III reigned for…
56 years from 1216, the first child king in England for 200 years. England went on to prosper during his reign and his greatest monument is Westminster Abbey, which he made the seat of his government--indeed, Henry III was the first English King to call a parliament. Though often overlooked by historians, Henry III was a unique figure coming out of a chivalric yet Gothic era: a compulsive builder of daunting castles and epic sepulchres; a powerful, unyielding monarch who faced down the De Montfort rebellion and waged war with Wales and France; and, much more than his father, Henry was the king who really hammered out the terms of the Magna Carta with the barons. John Paul Davis brings all his forensic skills and insights to the grand story of the Gothic King in this, the only biography in print of a most remarkable monarch.My Miserable Lonely Lesbian Pregnancy
By Andrea Askowitz. 2008
Sophia of Hanover: From Winter Princess to Heiress of Great Britain, 1630–1714
By J N Duggan. 2010
The detailed memoirs and letters of a gifted and prolific chronicler provide an insider's view of life for the top…
echelons of society in the 16th century Sophia, Electress of Hanover (1630-1714), granddaughter of James I, and mother of George I, is best remembered as the link between the Houses of Stuart and Hanover. A true European, Sophia spoke English, French, German, Dutch, and Italian fluently, and was open-minded and intellectually curious. Her writings cover an astonishing variety of subjects: religion, philosophy, international gossip, household hints, politics, and the details of her family life.The Mammoth Book of Irish Humour
By Aubrey Malone. 2012
This bumper collection of Irish humour covers topics such as Absenteeism and Zoos and everything in between. It would be…
disappointing should such a large collection not include the best of famous Irish wits such as Oscar Wilde and George Bernard Shaw, but the emphasis is very much on contemporary Irish humour from the likes of Tommy Tiernan, Dylan Moran, Ardal O'Hanlon and Dara O'Briain, to name just a few. Lunatic, iconoclastic and, as Spike Milligan might have put it, involving 'sideways thinking', this is Irish humour at its very best.Pun Direction
By Stewart Francis. 2013
I was standing in the park today wondering, why does a Frisbee appear larger the closer it gets? And then…
it hit me.'Stewart Francis is the king of the smart one-liner, the brilliantly crafted, often punning gag delivered in his trademark deadpan style.In this, his first book, he presents 500 of his funniest, most perfectly formed gags plus hilarious cartoons and more.The Mammoth Book of More Dirty, Sick, X-Rated and Politically Incorrect Jokes
By Geoff Tibballs. 2013
Funny, fearless and absolutely filthy-nearly 3,000 more uncensored, dirty, sick, and deeply politically incorrect jokes, covering just about every topic…
imaginable, from adultery to (sex in) Zoos, including an assortment of bad taste lists. A worthy, all-new follow-on to the first bestselling volume.Sorting Out Billy
By Jo Brand. 2004
Billy is a lad. He's a laugh, he's loud, he behaves badly and Sarah is besotted with him. But after…
another 'accident' involving Billy's temper, Sarah's face and a night in the A&E, Sarah's friends Martha and Flower decide that it's time to take action. What should they do? Reason with him? Send him to anger management classes? Hire a hit man? Martha and Flower have problems of their own: Martha is seven months pregnant by one of three possible blokes (she did this mainly to wind up her sanctimonious vicar father); and hippie Flower's career as a stand-up comic is more sit-down after some nasty encounters with south London's finest hecklers. Will Martha survive single-motherhood on a council estate in need of a peace-keeping force? Will Flower find the perfect put-down? And will they sort out Billy before he gets to them first...? Jo Brand tells it like it is in her darkly comic and sharply observed debut novel.It's Different For Girls
By Jo Brand. 2005
A wonderfully funny and poignant novel about growing up in the seventies, teenage angst, growing pains and first love. Rachel…
and Susan do not like to be beside the seaside. Hastings is so uncool. Plunging headfirst into the choppy waters of adolescence, they are determined to survive their teens by sticking together. It?s a rollercoaster ride of nutty parents, randy language students, stoned hippies, all-night parties on the pier, and an amusement arcade of emotional neediness.