Service Alert
Website maintenance April 24 10pm ET
On Wednesday April 24 at 10pm ET the CELA website will be unavailable for about 15 minutes for planned maintenance.
On Wednesday April 24 at 10pm ET the CELA website will be unavailable for about 15 minutes for planned maintenance.
Showing 1 - 20 of 78 items
By G. Richard Bozarth. 2014
In 1947, Dr. Sebaceous Piafraus discovered the Terminally Ill Sea Scrolls in the same month the Dead Sea Scrolls were…
found. The Dead Sea Scrolls became internationally famous, but the Terminally Ill Sea Scrolls were consigned to obscurity, along with their discoverer. Dr. Piafraus, who endured decades of ego-bruising neglect, provides translations of well-known Old Testament stories, which he insists are the most authentic versions of the stories because the Jewish eschatological cult that created the Scrolls claimed that they were. These stories are more fully developed than in the Old Testament and are humorous, though some parts are appalling, because Bible stories often are appalling.By Elisabeth Waldmeier, Susan Tuttle Laube. 2002
The Galungan festival in Bali marks the victory of dharma (order) over adharma(disorder). It is celebrated by the Balinese Hindus,…
who believe that duringthese ten days of prayers, offerings, and feasting, their revered ancestors return to their former homes to be welcomed and entertained. Using this entrancing setting, Swiss illustrator and painter Elisabeth Waldmeier relates the exhilarating festival of the fun-loving Balinesc people through the eyes of a former child dancer, Sadri, who descends to his previous home to participate in the annual rapturous village celebrations. A delightful story accompanying enchanting and detailed illustrations, this book will captivate both children and adults alike.By C. P. Boyko. 2014
Novelists: the soul of an age, certainly. Brilliant? Perhaps. Yet aren't they also doddering, petulant, pedantic, knockkneed, skittish, and thunderingly…
insecure-resentful, awkward, annoying-demanding, deluded, and vexingly indifferent to reality? New from short fiction devotée C.P. Boyko, Novelists is a comedy of manners (and manuscripts), rivalling Vanity Fair for its satirical wit... though not, mercifully, for its length.By Ryan North. 2013
The greatest work in English literature, now in the greatest format of English literature: a chooseable-path adventure! When Shakespeare wrote…
Hamlet he gave the world just one possible storyline, drawn from a constellation of billions of alternate narratives. And now you can correct that horrible mistake! Play as Hamlet and avenge your father's death--with ruthless efficiency this time. Play as Ophelia and change the world with your scientific brilliance. Play as Hamlet's father and die on the first page, then investigate your own murder... as a ghost! Featuring over 100 different endings, each illustrated by today's greatest artists, incredible side quests, fun puzzles, and a book-within-a-book instead of a play-within-a-play, To Be or Not To Be offers up new surprises and secrets every time you read it.You decide this all sounds extremely excellent, and that you will definitely purchase this book right away. Because as the Bard said: "to be or not to be... that is the adventure."...You're almost certain that's how it goes.To Be or Not To Be originally launched as a record-breaking Kickstarter project. This new, reader-friendly edition features the same text and illustrations as the original version, redesigned to take up half as many pages and weigh a whole pound less.By D. B. Shuster. 2015
"A wicked romp through the hallowed halls of academia!"Laugh out loud at these clever and sexy tales. Academia has never…
been so naughty!The university men in Professor Melanie Stevenson's life pressure her to take her proper place--under them. While the proper professor indulges in daring daydreams of...submitting to their will, her "evil" twin, Violet, takes on the role of academic avenger and cracks the whip, so to speak, to work out the kinks in higher education. Written by a college professor, this witty series takes a darkly funny look at the neurotic people and politics of higher education. These eight consecutive short stories tell a larger tale with rich characters, escalating stakes, and steamy action. What Readers are Saying"Timid Professors, evil twins and a good dose of slightly naughty will have you chuckling over the office water cooler.""Love this series! Smart, funny, and sexy. Great brain candy!""Hot and hillarious!""These are awesome. They're over the top enough to be funny but really, really good."Excerpt from "Spanking the Chair""Spanked?" he repeated, his voice cracking. She licked her lips and nodded, knowing she had his full interest now."Yes, spanked." She coiled a lock of hair around her finger, looked down at her own knees. "You know, sometimes I miss that.""You miss being spanked?""It was so cathartic, you know? A hot hand on my backside, a good wallop, and all the bad was purged out of me. I'd done my penance and could go back to being good again." "I don't know what to say," he said. Perhaps not, but his thoughts broadcast loud and clear, as he undressed her with his eyes and likely imagined turning her over his knee. So not going to happen."Do you feel you need to be punished for what you've done?" he asked."I know corporal punishment is out of vogue," she said. "But truly, it could be so therapeutic." His head bounced like a bobble head as he communicated his willingness to give her what he most desired, him in the role of punisher.Time to change the game.She crossed her legs, leaned forward, and dropped her voice to a husky whisper. "Have you ever been spanked, Simon?"By Mahendra Singh, Tony Millionaire, Martin Olson. 2011
A tour de force of darkness, Encyclopaedia of Hell is a manual of Earth written by Lord Satan for his…
invading hordes of demons, complete with hundreds of unpleasant illustrations, diagrams, and a comprehensive and utterly repulsive dictionary of Earth terms.Since the customs and mores of humanity are alien and inconceivable to demons, Satan wrote this strangely poetic military handbook for the enlightenment and edification of his demon armies. A masterpiece expressing Satan's hatred for humanity and himself, the Encyclopaedia includes "Techniques of Stalking and Eating Humans," "Methods of Canning Human Pus," and "Dicing and Slicing Orphaned Children."Why the invasion? During the last century in particular, Hell has become seriously overcrowded. Satan needs more land mass for the damned and to use the human livestock to feed his hungry demon invaders.Since this book is the 666th commemorative edition, this Encyclopaedia contains special commemorative material.Martin Olson's savage wit provides the firepower for a preposterous literary feat unaccomplished since Mark Twain passed-channeling the real voice of Satan. Over the past fifteen years, Olson has written and produced nine comedy specials, inflicted on the populace via CBS, HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, and A&E.By Frank Tashlin. 1977
There once was a happy little possum, the happiest animal in the entire forest, who always wore a great big…
smile. This jolly creature was content simply to hang by his tail from a tree until he was discovered by a group of picnickers. Mistaking the possum's upside-down smile for a frown, the people resolve to rescue him ― and they turn the little possum's world topsy-turvy. Strikingly illustrated in black-and-white, this memorable satire of cultural intolerance was created by Frank Tashlin, the famed animator, film director, and author of The Bear That Wasn't. Readers of all ages will appreciate the book's message as well as its distinctive drawings.From the #1 bestselling author of Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids comes a brand-new joke collection with hundreds of spooky knee-slappers…
to make you cackle about monsters, mayhem, and more.Rob Elliott's irresistible comedic genius returns to make your little ghosts and goblins laugh with nonstop puns, jokes, and other absurdities about everything that goes bump in the night. This refreshing classic is a perfect fit for the entire family to enjoy together!How does a monster like his coffee? With scream and sugar!By Nick Caruso, Dani Rabaiotti, Alex G. Griffiths. 2019
A hilariously informative book of facts, farts, and fun!Dogs fart. Cats fart. Horses fart (a lot). But what about snakes?…
Spiders? Octopuses? What about chimpanzees? Cheetahs? Or dinosaurs?In this gaseous guide to kids' favorite animals (and some they've probably never heard of), young readers will discover not only which animals pass gas, but also which have the stinkiest farts, which fart the most, and where all this smelly stuff comes from. They'll even learn which species has its own secret fart code! Perfect for reluctant readers, and with full-color illustrations throughout, Does It Fart? is the funniest book you never knew you needed.Based on the New York Times bestseller Does It Fart?: The Definitive Field Guide to Animal Flatulence.By Benjamin Chaud, Davide Cali. 2016
What really happened over the summer break? A curious teacher wants to know. The epic explanation? What started out as…
a day at the beach turned into a globe-spanning treasure hunt with high-flying hijinks, exotic detours, an outrageous cast of characters, and one very mischievous bird! Is this yet another tall tale, or is the truth just waiting to be revealed? From the team behind I Didn't Do My Homework Because . . . and A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to School . . . comes a fantastical fast-paced, detail-rich illustrated summer adventure that's so unbelievable, it just might be true! Plus, this is the fixed-format version, which looks almost identical to the print edition.By Matt Pritchett. 2019
Whether you want to laugh or cry about the last twelve months, Matt gives a brilliantly funny take on the…
world. From Brexit to business, Trump to transport woes, our obsession with the weather to Royal babies, Matt nails it every single time with just the right visual joke. There is no doubt: Matt definitely makes the world a happier place!By Vivian Vande Velde. 2005
By Thornton Wilder. 2003
A timeless statement about human foibles...and human endurance, The Skin of Our Teeth is Thornton Wilder’s brilliant, Pulitzer Prize-winning play,…
now reissued with a beautiful new cover and updated afterword by Wilder’s nephew, Tappan Wilder. Time magazine called The Skin of Our Teeth "a sort of Hellzapoppin' with brains," as it broke from established theatrical conventions and walked off with the 1943 Pulitzer Prize for Best Drama. Combining farce, burlesque, and satire (among other styles), Thornton Wilder departs from his studied use of nostalgia and sentiment in Our Town to have an Eternal Family narrowly escape one disaster after another, from ancient times to the present. Meet George and Maggie Antrobus (married only 5,000 years); their two children, Gladys and Henry (perfect in every way!); and their maid, Sabina (the ageless vamp) as they overcome ice, flood, and war—by the skin of their teeth. Witty, clever, and provocative, The Skin of Our Teeth showcases Wilder’s storytelling genius and his extraordinary talents at delving deep into the human psyche.By Alex Bernstein. 2013
Ten hilarious short stories for anyone who hates the holidays! The holiday season is one of laughter, fun, generosity, and…
time with friends and family . . . or so it&’s supposed to be. But we all know that the holiday season can actually be absolutely depressing, no matter how hard we try. So from the wit of humorist Alex Bernstein comes this &“miserable&” collection of short stories based around Christmas and Hanukkah. Included are short stories, such as: &“Blue Christmas&”&“K-Rope&”&“The Smoking Lounge&”&“Brownie Mix&”&“The #$@!# Bicycle Boys Save Christmas, Again!&”And more! No matter what holiday you celebrate, this quirky yet bittersweet compilation will be sure to have you longing for mid-January. Whether you want these tales for yourself or for a loved one you really don&’t care about, Miserable Holiday Stories will be sure to have any holiday &“realist&” prepared for the misery they feel during that blessed holiday season.Escape on a round-the-world trip with Lucy Vine's hilarious novel about FOMO, #findingthefun and losing yourself - longlisted for the…
Comedy Women in Print Prize 2020'Made me scream laughing. I enjoyed it SO much' Marian Keyes'Have you ever messed up so badly you had to leave the country? This feelgood journey contains one of the best vagina jokes ever. We didn't want it to end' Heat MagazineAlice is turning thirty and is stuck in a rut. Her friends are all coupling up and settling down, while she's still working as a temp, trying (and failing) not to shag her terrible ex, getting thrown out of clubs, and accidentally sexting her boss...She decides to throw caution to the wind and jets off on a round-the-world adventure to #FindTheFun and find herself. Of course, she's no more likely to find the answer to true happiness on the beach in Thailand than she is at the electric beach in Tooting, but at least in Thailand there's paddleboard yoga.Can Alice find happiness on her travels? Or is she more likely to lose herself all over again...?'Really, really funny, but also kind of heart wrenching' Sophie Kinsella'Hilarious and touching' Louise O'Neill 'Warning: read this book and you will doubtless snort with laughter in inappropriate public places. Quite simply, #brilliant' Ella Dove'Her best work yet: it's funner, it's more tender . . . You need to have this in your beach bag' Laura Jane Williams'I tore through this quicker than a duty-free Toblerone . . . Wickedly funny and painfully perceptive' Lauren Bravo'Utterly addictive and utterly charming...her best yet' Daisy Buchanan'A bawdy breath of fresh air' Sunday MirrorBy Joanna Bolouri. 2015
'I would give this book 6 stars if I could!' Amazon reviewer. The runaway bestselling romantic comedy!Phoebe Henderson may be…
single but she sure doesn't feel fabulous. It's been a year since she found her boyfriend Alex in bed with another woman, and multiple cases of wine and extensive relationship analysis with best friend Lucy have done nothing to helpFaced with a new year but no new love, Phoebe concocts a different kind of resolution. The List: ten things she's always wanted to do in bed but has never had the chance (or the courage!) to try. A bucket list for between the sheets. One year of pleasure, no strings attached. Simple, right? Factor in meddlesome colleagues, friends with benefits, getting frisky al fresco and maybe, possibly, true love and Phoebe's got her work cut out for her.[*Contains adult material*]By Adam Roberts. 2005
Something fishy is going on in the world of artistic scholarship. How can there possibly be a link between the…
hidden cod of Leonardo Da Vinci's paintings and the over fishing of the North Atlantic fish stocks? Could it be that Leonardo Da Vinci, the greatest genius of his age and inventor of the photocopier and mouse mat, had a chilling insight into European Union Fishing policies.Only one man can find out. Robert Hangdog, international scholar, master spy and action hero. Oh and Bezu Fish.By Nat Amoore. 2021
&‘Laughs, family, friendships and a thrilling adventure – Secrets of a Schoolyard Millionaire has it all.&’ Jen Carney, author of…
The Accidental Diary of B.U.G. &‘Fast-paced, clever and completely hilarious with the BEST cast of characters... LOVE IT TO BITS.&’ Rashmi Sirdeshpande, author of Dosh Finding a million dollars in your back garden – every kid&’s dream, right? That&’s what me and my best friend Toby thought too. Bouncy castles at school. Sweets for our adoring fans. Wearing sunglasses indoors (&’cos that&’s what all the millionaires do). There&’s a lot you can get with a million dollars . . . including a whole lot of trouble. Bonus tips on how to be a schoolyard millionaire inside!By Joanna Bolouri. 2015
'SEXY, SMART AND SCANDALOUS' Victoria Fox One list, ten wishes, and absolutely no chance of actually falling in love .…
. . Reluctantly single Phoebe Henderson has spent twelve months trying to get over her cheating ex, but no amount of wine or extensive relationship analysis with best friend Lucy has seemed to help. Faced with a new year but no new love, Phoebe concocts a different kind of resolution: The List. Ten things she's always wanted to do in bed but has never had the chance (or the courage) to try. One year of no-strings-attached adventure. What could possibly go wrong?Between meddlesome colleagues, friends with benefits, getting frisky al fresco and maybe, possibly, true love, Phoebe's bucket list with a difference might be more than she bargained for . . . 'FEARLESS' List 'RAUNCHY AND HILARIOUS' Scottish Sun 'A CRACKER OF A DEBUT' SunBy Los Compas. 2021
La aventura más épica del grupo de Los Compas, ¡con Mayo e Invictor como protagonistas! Algo terrible ha sucedido en…
el pueblo de Invictor y Mayo: la mitad de la esmeralda sagrada fue robada del laboratorio Force Atomic Company por el profesor Malus Malunfus, un malvado científico. La humanidad corre un gran peligro: si las dos mitades se unen, convertirán a Malunfus en el hombre más fuerte sobre la tierra y esto supondría el fi n del planeta. Por suerte, nuestros compas no lo van a permitir. Invictor el mamadísimo y Mayo, la tostadora deberán evitar que el ladrón cumpla con su deseo de destrucción y para ello emprenderán un increíble viaje hacia los confi nes del mundo. ¿PODRÁN LOS AVENTUREROS SALIR TRIUNFANTES EN MEDIO DE MONSTRUOS, TRAMPAS Y ENCANTAMIENTOS? ¡Acompáñalos a descubrirlo! LA HISTORIA MÁS ÉPICA DE INVICTOR Y MAYO, DE LOS COMPAS